This Wild Love // Yoongi

Finding Solace

Yoongi's POV

I don't understand.

What am I to you?

And not in a negative way...I'm not asking for anything. I don't know what our relationship was...is? What were we? What are we?

What...am I doing? I think I'm concerned? Did I have feelings for you?

My ear twitches. I tilt my head. Even though I can smell you, and I can smell that maddening vanilla, what is this emotion? I recognize fear. Sorrow. Frustration. But there's something else.

A veil has come over your eyes. Rather, instead of smelling frustration, or sadness, or anything, it's as though there's another emotion bubbling under your chillingly burnt cheeks which is simultaneously nothing and everything.

A switch has been flicked in my mind, but it's not as though a light has been turned on. It's as though the switch was flicked, snapped in half, and chucked into a distant corner, unreachable. I can't remember you. But I crave you. Your sudden appearance is...

...terrifying.

Everything I'd felt from you since you came to this town had been familiar. I don't know why, and I don't know how, but that much was clear. But then why? Why do you now feel so threatening? Did I start something I shouldn't have?

Should I be sorry? I feel like I should. The guilt is being flushed up my throat, through my jaw and into my head. It's driving me insane.

"You can stay." I wrestle to say the words clearly. They fall dead on the snow, sinking, collapsing. I'm not saying it to anyone in particular. Maybe that's why I feel so lost. The trees cackle at my sorry self, and the snow bites at my legs and back as I lay there.

I open my lips in protest to my prior statement, wondering if I should take back my words, but when I try, it's as though a vice has been clamped over my ability to speak. I've only been hostile with you since your arrival here, even when I could have been more understanding. I don't have the right to fight with you.

But why do I feel the need to stay near you? And now, why do I feel the urge to join you behind those chipped, cracked barriers you call protection and claw away at those pathetic walls? I want to barrage what you've built and get you to look at me.

I can't understand why I feel this way, though. Should I be acting on it?

Rocking back on my heels, I start feeling lightheaded. I need air.

"Let's give her space," I mutter. But I'm only giving space to myself. I begin my lonely trek back to the town in my other form...my wild form. It's too cold to stay human. I pick up my pitiful clothes.

In the short time I've been here, I made one of the buildings my own. I'd tried furnishing it with things from the other abandoned houses. This village is nothing but a mockery of life, but I made it a place to live. And then that guy showed up. Hobi. He not only crossed into my territory, but he insisted on staying.

And now this girl. Y/N. But something is different. What am I missing?

When I probe my memories from the last few days, all I can gather is seeing a fox...and fog. A lot of fog. I ran off from a large boom, and something that resembled fire. After running, and running, and running, I came here.

To this doorstep.

As I shift back into my human form and open the door, I embrace a flood of warmth. Someone lit the fireplace. I scan the room.

Taehyung is occupying my couch. He doesn't remember much either...but the moment I ran from the fog, the fox, the boom, he was already by my side. Something bonds the two of us. I have yet to figure it out, but I know we're family. We have to be.

Right?

While twiddling his thumbs, Taehyung inches his feet back to make room for me. Purring in appreciation, I quickly change and sit on the small piece of heaven.

"I think we're brothers," Taehyung suddenly declares. Bristling in the spontaneity of it all, I shift my feet. "No...really. I have this uncontrollable feeling I should be calling you hyung."

"I know," I growl. "You can't remember, though. And neither can I."

"No, this is different," Taehyung insists. "It feels more like...a blood connection. You know?"

While rubbing my eyes, I try to process what he's telling me, but I can't make sense of it all. Logically, I know what he's saying, but...how can we be sure?

Taehyung's eyes meet mine. If secrets could be embedded in a soul, this is what it would look like. A peach-haired, tired, but...brotherly tiger, if he is my brother. His matted ears hang low, and orange-black stripes mingle at the back of his neck. His thoughts are a mystery to me.

I reach into my back pocket instinctively and pull out that weird, mangled excuse for a rose. The chaos seems to dwindle when I twirl it.

"Where did you get that in a tundra like this?"

"It was already there when I woke up."

"Then...do you remember where you got it from?"

Focusing on the faded reds, I bite my lip. I can remember a little bit. A clear, starry sky with a moon at its fullest...a man, kicking my side roughly enough to break my ribs. And something else.

A girl?

A sudden, pulsing pain jabs me behind my temple. Dropping the rose, I hiss and smack a hand against my forehead.

"You see that girl there?"

Curling up protectively, I huddle into the grass, away from this random stranger that walked up to me out of nowhere. They're pointing to the girl that just left, the girl that just hopped in that car. The girl who gave me this useless but oddly sentimental gift. Despite my broken side, I claw into the thorns of the stem and undergo a shift. My muscles ripple with power. I know I'll pay for this later, but I'm feeling something...off. The familiar rush of the jaguar fuses with me.

Shockingly, the man isn't frightened. Trying not to be threatening, the man sits cross legged in the grass with me. He gives me a lopsided smile. "That's my daughter, right there."

Utterly confused, I look at the car and back at the man. The car starts up and the headlights flash headlong into the night. Is he not going to go with her?

"What she gave you is really special. Birthdays only happen once a year, after all. Don't you agree?"

A guttural growling starts in the pit of my stomach. "Now, now. Don't go getting angry. I just wanted to talk to you." Standing up, the man pats my head. I swat my paw at his hand, but he backs away just as quickly as the girl did. Faster than she did.

His cunning aura puts me on edge. "She's going to grow up, soon. She'll grow up not ever knowing what she is...and I won't be there for her." Crossing his arms, he glances over at me. The stars suddenly seem much brighter as they beam on this man's head, revealing two swaths of orange fur tinged with black ends. Two ears much like mine pop up, though they feel...wrong. What's wrong with them? He's not a cat...and he's not a dog.

"Ah, you're starting to connect dots. That's a little too dangerous for me right now. I'll take my leave. But...take care of her, will you?" His ears shrivel away, leaving him looking human once more. "You'll forget this when I walk away, anyway. Why am I bothering to talk to you?"

Standing between me and the car as it drives away, the man kneels down. His strange golden eyes drill into me. A forlorn air lingers in his words. "I suppose I could let you remember one thing. The number seven. Will you remember that for me?"