The Burning of the White Wisteria

CHAPTER 11: LIKE FATHER LIKE SON

I woke up with a crick in my neck, not that I was surprised. I hadn't gotten used to sleeping in Luci's dorm yet and the pillows were much harder than the ones in the Slytherin dorms. I'd thought about sneaking into my dorm room one day and getting one of my own pillows but decided that the chance of seeing Mara was too much of a risk.

Pushing aside the lingering sadness, I got up from my temporary bed to sit by the window, before pulling a fuzzy blanket onto my shoulders. I felt the cold air hit my exposed legs, sending goosebumps immediately all down my skin. I sighed as I wished I had brought some of my own pants from my dorm too, having to borrow Luci's for the time being. They lacked the same comfort that my own clothes gave me.

I sat on the windowsill, the coldness of the stone pressing against my thighs as I stared outside.

It'd only been a week or two and it was spring now. It was March. Sometimes, I could hardly believe that the school year would be over soon. I watched as rain fell onto the ground from outside, the height making me a bit dizzy.

It rained a lot during the spring, never seeming to let up for even a single day. I waited for the day that flowers were supposed to sprout from the ground again, filling the grounds with colour. It was something I always looked forward to after a long, cold, winter though it meant that summer was approaching quickly. The thought about going home sent chills down my spine, causing me to lean against the window.

I could see my reflection in it, the ghost of the person I used to be. The lack of sleep and constant depression had really gotten to me, leaving my hair greasy and in a tangle of messy curls. A pit formed in my stomach weeks ago and had never left. No food felt appetizing, no sleep felt fully deep. It all just sucked.

"Morning, Alexa," Luci whispered as she sat next to me. She wore a large brown jumper-- notably Moony's jumper-- on, covering her lower half. We looked out the window together for a while, enjoying the tranquillity of the morning.

"What time is it?" I asked, eyes still tired from sleeping uncomfortably all night.

"4:30."

"Merlin." I laughed a bit, head resting against the cold window. "When did I become an early riser?"

"You'll get back to normal once you get back in your own bed," Luci assured me, her hand rubbing my arm comfortingly.

"Nothing feels normal anymore," I mumbled.

"Speaking of which," Luci stated, careful not to wake her roommates, who had graciously let me stay in their empty bed. "Have you spoken to Sirius about the... Well, you know."

"The kiss?" I thought back on it, smiling at the memory. "No. He hasn't brought it up so neither have I."

Luci sighed, seemingly disappointed. It was weird to see her without makeup, her face lacking its normal dark appearance. I've learned a lot about Luci in these past two weeks: we'd been closer than we've ever been before and yet... Something was missing. We both knew it.

Luci had still been talking to Mara. She'd made it somewhat clear that she hadn't planned on taking sides, playing the devil's advocate for both of us. Admittedly, I had felt upset when she had told me of her plans to stay neutral; however, upon further consideration, I knew it would be the only way our group could stay intact in the future. There would be too much bad blood otherwise.

Admittedly, I missed Mara a lot. It just wasn't the same without her and her devious nature around all the time. But...

I wasn't ready to forgive her yet.

The same went for Abraxas. Though, unlike Mara, we'd actually spoken after I'd discovered their secret. Apparently, he was just as angry at me as I was at him. He'd called my response unreasonable, dramatic, asking me if I truly believed that I was in the right.