AVANTHONY A True Love Story

Chapter 34

AVANI POV:
Thursday I woke up due to my body aching for warmth. I was on the ground next to my bed with a bag of vomit next to my head. I looked out of my window to see the sun rising. I can't let anyone find me like this I thought starting to panic.

I got up quickly but had to sit right back down because of how dizzy I got. I waited till I didn't feel like everything was spinning then got back up and went to my bathroom. I leaned on the counter, holding myself up, since I was still a little weak from last night. I turned the water on and let it get hot. While I waited I looked at myself through the mirror my eyes struggling to stay open and my neck wanting to go down. I cleaned my face with the warm water and brushed my teeth getting rid of the horrendous vomit taste. My tongue and cheeks burned after using half a bottle of mouth wash but at least the taste wasn't there anymore. To tired to change I went to bed and slept the rest of the morning and part of noon since I didn't get any good sleep the previous night.

Waking up at three o'clock gave me no time to do anything. I ate a granola bag and almond milk for breakfast while doing my school work, which took up the majority of my day. I did most of my homework on an empty stomach because a granola bar and almond milk weren't the most filing foods. I only ate a small portion of the food my mom made for dinner, so that I wouldn't gain any extra weight or throw up while doing my exercises. I barely completed my workouts at night and went back to sleep the second I finished them. I didn't get time to talk to anyone or a second of rest, except at dinner. The day passed in a blink of an eye.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday blurred together forming a tiny suffocating loop. Everything was a struggle. Anything thing would irritate me and put me in a worse mood then I already was. I isolated myself from everyone even Anthony, he would call me and send me a multitude of texts and I would only answer some of them so he knew I was okay. I ate just enough so my body wouldn't collapse after a workout. All in the name of trying to get a perfect body. A perfect body meant happy viewers and happy viewers meant no more hate. I never handled hate very well, most of the time I would question my whole existence over hate, the little things always got to me. I strained my brain and tried not to daydream or get distracted by my intrusive thoughts while I did school work but most of the time I would end up frustrated with myself because I wasn't understanding anything. I genuinely wanted to learn but my brain wasn't absorbing any of the information.

Although the majority of the Sunday was as monotonous and humdrum like the other days, there was something diffreerent about it. Late at night after my workout I went to the bathroom and took of my shirt and shorts leaving me in my under garments. I stood in front of my mirror and began checking my body to make sure I had the following: No excess fat, flat stomach, big breasts, and a big ass. I had no excess fat and a flat stomach but I did not have the other two requirements.

That's fine I can fix that I reassured my self. I went onto YouTube and searched for exercises that helped get a bigger but. On my cold bathroom floor half naked I started what would be another incredibly fatiguing hour of exercises. The entire time comments and expectations about my looks ran through my head, fueling my motivation to keep slowly destroying my body.

I finished my exercise in tears but not because of the tremendous amounts of physical pain, I cried because I couldn't bear the weight of what people thought about me I couldn't handle the overwhelming sense of not being what everyone wanted me to be. I was done I didn't want to try I just wanted to stay on my cold bathroom floor crying alone for the rest of my life not having to worry about what others thought. I laughed instead of yelling as I dug my nail into my stomach and balled my eyes out. While I broke down I couldn't help but laugh with hatred towards myself and the past week. All the emotions I felt throughout the week, I was finally letting out. Vulnerability, emptiness, disappointment, loneliness, anger, and insecurity all finally being let out as I cried in despair.

It felt unbelievable finally breaking down, bawling in my bathroom at night after being fueled with so much stress.

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WORD COUNT: 836
Sorry for the wait hope you like it. Short chapter lol.