The Ineffable Ruth Rhodes

37 ruse

ruth

Two weeks.

Since she'd had any contact with Vincent whatsoever.

Ruth would never admit it to anyone but her mirror, but she was going a little insane too.

Every time she got a call, she'd check the caller ID like a madman as if she wasn't the one who told him to leave her alone. Whenever her bell rang she'd run to the door as if he'd be standing there— as if she wasn't the one who told him to stay away.

She didn't deserve him.

He didn't deserve her baggage.

Yeah. That's why I'm doing this. For him.

Ruth narrowed her eyes at her phone.

"Is it him?" Sumaiya asked, peeking over at her friend's phone screen with a brow raised.

"Hmm?"

"You're checking to see if he called you," Sumaiya asked, amusement evident in her face. "Right?"

"... No."

"Just call him."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I told him not to call me," she said. "I'd be hypocritical."

Sumaiya shook her head disappointingly.

If she was trying to complain, Ruth didn't know that she could take it. Not from Sumaiya. And not when deep down, Ruth perhaps knew she was acting like an idiot, too.

"I'm doing this for him," Ruth murmured, crossing her arms.

"You're doing it for yourself."

"It was fake, you know?" Ruth said, voice shaking, and she finally looked at her friend. "It was all fake."

She expected Sumaiya to get the smallest bit mad she'd kept something this big from her, maybe storm off or tell her she was disappointed, but she only blinked at her friend as if she was waiting on the punchline. "So...?"

"So? This whole thing was a ruse, Maiya."

"Okay..." Sumaiya trailed off, clearly not getting the correlation. "But you love each other now, so...?"

Ruth pursed her lips as her brows creased.

"You love each other," Sumaiya stated, Ruth's silence confirming her suspicion. "So what's the issue?"

"Sumaiya, I'm broken. You know that better than anyone."

"You're broken because you choose to let your past hold you back," Sumaiya said.

"Yeah and what happens when I wake up crying from a nightmare about her and he can't even do anything to help me?"

Sumaiya raised a brow. "Aren't you tired of using her as an excuse for your shortcomings? Don't you think Vincent wouldn't have fallen in love with you if he didn't think you were worth it?"

"It's not about what he would've done."

"And that's the exact issue!" Sumaiya exclaimed, light eyes widening in annoyance. "You're too selfish to be able to realize you don't get to choose who other people can love."

Ruth gave her an incredulous look. "I'm not choosing for him, Sumaiya. I'm protecting him."

"Yeah?" she snorted. "Did he ask you to do that? Do you really think you're any better than Charlotte?"

"Don't go there."

"You don't want to accept how you feel about him? Fine and good." She began picking up her stuff. "But I don't want to be around someone who is selfish enough to stop someone from loving them simply because of their own twisted views on love."

Ruth watched as Sumaiya left her.

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this was really short but um... next ch is long as hell so.