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I sniffed flipping through the scrapbook that filled with pictures of me, my mom, and Erika. It's been three days since I was told my mom was dead. The day after my birthday Erika took me to the house to show me her dead body, I regret going over there so much after seeing her lay lifeless in a pool of blood. 4 days ago at 5 in the morning my mom slit her wrist and neck and died alone and the only person I could blame was myself. I chose to be selfish and leave knowing the condition she was in, she became even more depressed when I left. Erika even blames me and I don't blame her.
"Esme? Go back to sleep" Rico mumbled turning in his sleep.
"I can't" I sniffed.
He sat up sighing.
"Why you crying?" He pulled me into his chest.
"She's dead because of me" I cried.
"No she's not Esme" He sighed.
"Erika thinks so" I mumbled.
"Do you think that?" He asked me.
"I'm starting to.. If I was still living there she would still be here" I cried.
"You left for the better. If you was still living there she would still be causing you pain. She wasn't right in the head Esme and sooner or later you gon realize that" He told me.
"It's not like things are better over here.." I mumbled.
"What?" He frowned.
"I think I needa get away or something. I'm not happy Rico" I cried.
"You blaming me now cuz you not happy?" He asked.
"I'm not blaming nobody" I shook my head.
"Ion even know why yo dumbass crying over her. She ain't love you she only loved Erika. Wake the fuck up" He yelled.
"You don't love me either so cut the bullshit" I spat.
He chuckled.
"Nobody fucking loves me. Ion even know why I'm living anymore" I cried.
"So you gon kill yourself now too?" He stale faced me.
