Candy | Jinkook ✓

Jinkook 2.0

They held hands.

It was strange, having that point of connection between them, like an anchor holding him down against the impending violence of a storm. It made him brave. Made him bold. Had him moving differently. Felt something inside of him change as Seokjin tucked himself in against him, following along behind like some kind of demure little mouse, head down and smiling.

That was what they both wanted, wasn't it? To each play a certain role that life hadn't allowed them too. And it would be easy to think of this as it actually was. An unfortunate set of circumstances that had lead both of them to make equally misguided choices. Nothing more than a business transaction that would end up meaning nothing to either of them.

But it was equally easy to twist it. To think of how they hadn't ever been give the proper opportunity to play these roles they wanted. How they were both mutually using one another to live out some fantasy. One where he was actually some confident alpha male and not filled with anxiety and baggage and Seokjin was cute and little and submissive instead of the way he portrayed himself everything day.

And that was okay. When he looked at that way, this all suddenly became alright. Not some pathetic attempt to gain the attention and affection he was denied because of his own failures. They were just two people coming together to help each other. To take each other away from the ordinary lives they were forced to live.

He liked that. He could live with that.

Seokjin was like a vision, something that had seemingly appeared directly out of a dream he'd once had. Within his mind he had always tried to conjure his perfect person. Had formed from a combination of all the people he had ever found attractive. Some ultra perfect being who he was smart enough to know he was never going to find.

But there he was. Sitting right next to him. Head resting back against the seat, body being cradled by the deep bucket design, staring out the window as the lights of the city blurred around them. All of his dreams and fantasies come to life.

"I won't be able to stay." He was speaking, and it took a long moment to realize that. For the words to sink in and meaning of them to become clear. To remember that they had agreed that they would extend their dinner into a cuddling session - it was the entire reason they were currently speeding down the highway, moving from one end of their city to the other.

"Why?" It sounded bad. But he only realized it after the word had actually left his mouth. Of course Seokjin wouldn't be staying. How absurd. It was their first visit and he had already asked for so much. "Sorry. If I'm moving too fast just -"

"Not at all." There it was again. That bright smile that seeped into him like a soothing balm, effectively calming his nerves better than anything ever had. "I just didn't bring anything with me."

"Oh." It took even longer for that to set in. An embarrassing amount of time that he would never be able to get back. "Oh. Right. Uh. Well." And just like that he was right back where he started. Stuttering like a fool. Great. "I probably have something you can borrow?"

"You're cute when you do that." He wasn't. He was not. He was entirely aware that nothing about having social anxiety was actually cute. It was difficult to deal with for him and the person trying to find reasons to stick around long enough to get past it.

"I'm not."

"It's okay to be nervous." Seokjin spoke so quietly. Softly. Twisted in his seat until his body was angled towards him, reaching up to adjust the safety belt so it wasn't digging in. "But I can see how hard you're trying. Do you know how special that makes someone feel? To know someone will try for them?"