Candy | Jinkook ✓

Jungkook 4.0

He didn't know who to listen to. Who to believe.

This was all so painfully, heartbreakingly real to him. And he desperately wanted it to be real for Seokjin too. Wondered if maybe he had wanted it so much that all of this had been nothing more than a dream, some vision that he would suddenly wake up from, disoriented and alone.

He wanted it to be real for Seokjin. But this wild pendulum shift from being one way to another was -

Seokjin knew that all of this was meant to be nothing more than a fantasy. A game of pretend that they played at until they eventually tired of each other. And what then? What he meant to just repeat the process over again? Find someone else and go through all of the awkward steps just to see it through to it's eventual failure?

Yet in the next breath he said that he wanted this to be real. Wanted it for as long as it would last. Called him his boyfriend and showed him off for everyone to see.

And for anyone else it would have been seen as a sweet confession. As Seokjin being the one between them that was brave enough to say how he truly felt. That they really were meant to be something else. Something more. That it was just so unfortunate that this was going to be their story. That at the beginning would be an awkward tale of how they had once been nothing more to each other than lines and signature upon a piece of paper.

Wanted it for as long as it would last.

His mind fixated on those words. Latched on to them like they somehow held the answer.

For as long as it would last. Like there was already some expiration date on their relationship. As if it would eventually meet it's inevitable end and there was nothing either of them could do about it. Like they weren't meant to be, weren't intended to last forever, to be each other's end game, but instead be ships passing each other in the night. A funny story they could one day tell of the adventures and missteps they'd taken before finding the love they were meant to have.

He wanted that to be Seokjin.

He couldn't explain it. Knew that to anyone else it would sound completely crazy. Saying that he was already in love with someone he was paying to act a certain way towards him was actually insane. Text book definition. No one else would see it as being sweet and cute and romantic. No one else would look at this scenario and see it ending well.

His heart had already been so stupidly optimistic. Right from the very start, he had always held within him the belief that if he prayed for something hard enough, had enough hope that it would come true. If he wished on enough stars and found enough pieces of luck, then nothing was impossible.

Right now he wanted to believe that Seokjin felt the same things he did. That they had caught sight of each other and that had just been it. That their hearts and minds and wants and needs had aligned like the stars in the sky and they had been forever connected, belonging as much to themselves as one another.

What other reason was there? What ulterior motive could he possibly have? Even his own over active, hyper imagination which could always seem to conjure up the worst scenarios couldn't come up with anything, any doomsday alternative where Seokjin was doing this for any other reasons than it being the truth.

When they were together, it was so easy to feel that spark between them. That electric current which seemed to flow from his body directly into Seokjin's. It was almost magical, like the first soft snowflakes falling from a darkened sky. Like laying on fresh grass and watching the stars move across the universe. Like angels singing and every other pretty phase about love and the fireworks that were supposed to ignite that he had ever heard.