Tom Holland Imagines

Trying

The test was upside down on the bathroom counter so I couldn't see it. Nerves and adrenaline were filling my body. My hands shaking slightly. 

'It'll be alright darling.' 

I turned and looked to my husband of nearly two years next to me. He was smiling holding my hands. 

'But what if it's negative Tommy.' 

'Well then we keep trying.' I nodded my head. 

Tom and I had decided we were ready to grow our family. We wanted a little edition. We wanted a baby. But I had this feeling. A feeling that it would never happen. We had been trying for a baby for a couple months now. 

This was going to be the 3rd pregnancy test we are taking. Both before it being negative. I had this pit in my stomach. I knew it was going to come back negative. Each time it did crushed me. Tom and I's lives were complete. Well almost. The only thing left to complete it was a child. My phone timer bleeped pulling my from my thoughts. 

'Ready love?' 

I nodded my head and turned the test over. Tears filled my eyes. Another negative. Tom took the test off me. He looked at me and sighed. He pulled my into his chest. My tears were beginning to soak his shirt. 

'It'll happen,' he muttered. 

'I just want it to happen now,' I sighed. He kissed the top of my head and held me whilst I clung to him tightly. 

It had been almost a year since we started trying. Still no baby. Each time that test came back negative it stung harder. The thought of we might never get pregnant was becoming overwhelming. That this might never happen for us. 

It was a Thursday night I had just got home from work and Tom was sat on the sofa watching TV. I sat down and cuddled up next to Tom. Tom knew how much each negative test crushed me. I was starting to think something might be wrong with me. That my body wouldn't let me have a baby. 

'Tommy. I think we need to go to the doctors.' 

'Why love?' I sat up slightly straighter to talk to him. 'Well we've being trying for a year now and nothing. I just want to make sure everything's ok.' 

'Of course darling.' 

A few tears rolled down my face out of pure stress and disappointment it was taking so long. Tom wiped them away with his thumb and cupped my face with hand. 

'Everything will be ok darling.' 

I nodded not sure I believed him. If everything was ok was ok then why hadn't I gotten pregnant yet. 

We got into see a doctor pretty quickly. Tom found a private doctor that had high recommendations and ratings. Also very expensive. Which I argued against. However he insisted as we would get results and information quicker. We had both done our tests and we were going to see the doctors for some results. 

'Mr and Mrs Holland how are you?' The doctor smiled greeting us as we walked into her office. 

We both took a seat opposite her desk. My leg started shaking. Tom rested his hand on my thigh to try and calm me, giving me a quick smile. 

'Just nervous I guess,' I laughed. 

'Ok well then I'll get to you results straight away.' She laid out some paperwork on her desk and glanced over it. 'So Mr Holland. Your tests all came back fine. No fertility problems.' 

Tom breathed a sigh of relief. However I wasn't so relieved. If it wasn't Tom it might be my body. My body that was failing us. 

'So Mrs Holland. It looks like you have an overactive thyroid. This can cause some problems with ovulation.'

My breath hitched as soon as she said this. I clung onto Tom's hand tighter. He gave me reassuring look. But we both new that this would make it so much harder for us. 

'Now it's nothing to be too concerned about. What I'm going to do is prescribe you with some fertility pills. This should help and...' my mind went blank at this point. 

I couldn't hear anything the doctor was saying anymore. So many thoughts racing through my mind. The doctors appointment ended and I didn't say a word for the rest of the appointment or the drive home. Tom kept asking me if I was ok. I just nodded. I walked into our house and sat on the sofa and stared at the word. Thinking how it was my body that was failing us. That I was the reason we couldn't get pregnant. Tom came and sat next to me and held my hands. 

'I'm sorry Tommy.' 

'Why are you sorry darling?' 

'I'm sorry my body failed us and I'm the reason it's taking so long for us to start a family,' I cried. 

Tom pulled me into his chest. Wrapping his strong arms around me kissing the top of my head.

'Darling this is not your fault. Don't feel like it is.' He stayed holding me and comforting me whilst I cried into his chest. 

It had been a couple of week since I started the fertility pills and had started tracking my cycle. It was around the time to take another test. 

I could take another negative test. But I wasn't sure if Tom could. I saw it in his eyes every time. He was more crushed then me, if not more. All I wanted to do was make this man a father. It broke me that my body wouldn't let me. I'd decided I was going to take this test on my own. Tom was going to be out filming all day so it was the perfect time to take the test. 

I sat on the bathroom floor back against the wall. The test upside down once again. Going through the agonising three minute wait that I'd been through a million times before. Preparing myself for the negative that was going to come. The timer bleeped and I reached up to grab the test. I took a deep breath and flipped it over. 

'No. It can't be,' I whispered. 

I quickly ripped open a few more tests just to be sure. Another three minutes went by. I quickly looked at the tests lining them up. All three of them positive. My hands were shaking tears leaving my eyes. 

I was pregnant. Finally pregnant. I put my hand on my belly and cried harder. There was a baby growing in there. I couldn't believe it. Once I had calmed myself down I hid the tests from Tom. It was our third wedding anniversary in two days. This would be the perfect surprise. 

I had gone out to the shop to get a few things for Tom. I got a box to put a few things in. I got a little baby grow that said 'coming soon' on it. I put this in a cute box I found along with the pregnancy tests and wrapped it up. 

We'd decided to have a nice meal at home for our anniversary. After all I wanted this moment to be private. I didn't want to announce it in front of lots of people. I wanted it to be just between us. 

We had eaten dinner and were sat on the sofa about to watch a film. It was time to tell Tom. I was so excited and surprised I hadn't already told him. 

'I have a present for you Tommy,' I grinned. 

'I thought we weren't doing presents.' 

I shrugged my shoulders at him. 'Just got you a little something you might like.' 

I went to get the box I'd hidden and handed it do him. He looked puzzled at me. 

'Go on then open it,' I laughed. 

He ripped the wrapping paper off and opened the lid. His hands started shaking and he was staring in disbelief. 

'Are you serious,' he whispered. 

'100%,' I nodded a few tears leaving me eyes as well as his. 

'We're gonna be parents. I'm going to be father,' he whispered. 

'The best,' I smiled. 

He looked up at me a big grin now spreading across his face. He picked me up in a hug spinning me round as I squealed. 

'I love you so much darling,' he muttered before pulling me into a kiss which I instantly returned. When we broke the kiss he rested his forehead against mine. 

'We're going to be parents,' I smiled.