Tom Holland Imagines

I Can't Anymore (Part 2)

3 years. In reality it was a short time. However those 3 years felt like the longest years of my life. 3 years I had spent without Tom in my life. 

When I left him that day it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Leaving him crying. Seeing him heart broken. 

We hadn't spoken since that day. He had called and texted countless times. I didn't answer any of them. I didn't want to fall back into the relationship that was breaking me. 

Being with Tom was the best time of my life. But when the person you love is thousands of miles away all the time it's heart breaking.  

I'd lived with a friend for 6months after I'd ended my relationship with Tom. For those 6 months I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like I was drowning. Tom was my life support. Without him I was lost. 

Spending months sat on the sofa with tear stained cheeks eating anything I could. I gained a lot of weight during that time. Didn't feel like myself. I'd only released how bad it had become when I'd only left bed once that week. Not to mention an intervention from a friend. 

There was a knock of the door as it creaked open. I pushed my head further into the pillow. 6 months later I'm still a mess. The bed dipped besides me and I heard a sigh from B/F/N. '

Y/N I know this is hard, but it's been 6 months. I'm worried about you. You haven't left your room all week. You've been missing uni classes. Staying in this dark and frankly just disgusting room all the time. Eating your feelings. It's not healthy. You need to move on.' 

I sat up looking her in the eyes and broke down into tears. She pulled me into her muffling my cry. '

I'm scared to move on. If I move on it means I have to forget the memories,' I cried. 'I have to forget the first time he told me he loved me. I have to forget when he asked me to move in with him. It's too painful to remember.' '

You don't have to forget the memories. Just look back at them as a chapter in your life. A happy chapter not a sad one. You're strong Y/N. You can get through this.' '

You think?' '

100%,' B/F/N smiled. 'Now lets open the curtains and the window. It stinks in here,' she laughed. 

It took me a while, but I got my life back on track. 2 years later I'm fit and healthy again, I graduated from university, I have a stable job working for a company in London and I bought my own home. 

I haven't been with anyone since I broke up with Tom. For now I'm happy on my own. Living my own life. However I still think of Tom everyday. My life just seems that little bit emptier without him. But, seeing his career blossom all over the media made me realise I did the right thing. See him take his acting to a level, taking on roles in 'Cherry' and 'The Devil All The Time' made me realise that I was holding him back. He was now thriving. I was happy for him. Just upset that I couldn't be by his side through it all. 

It was a Friday night and I was going with a few friends to a club in London. Usual nights out I got pushed to look for someone on nights out. Even a hook up. Normally I pushed away the idea. But I think that it was the time. Even if I was just looking for a hook up. It would be that final push I needed to get over Tom. 

My curled hair was hanging over my shoulder. I was wearing a tight low cut red dress that had a split in the side. With black heels to match. I walked down the stairs and saw everyone else waiting in the living from for me. I was always the last to be ready. 

'Shot?' I got handed. 

I laughed taking the shot, the liquid burning the back of my throat. Now buzzed we left the house and piled into the taxi waiting outside for us. We got out the taxi and could here the loud music from outside the club. I linked my arm around B/F/N's and smiled.