Some Things Never Change

The paternity test

One week went by without Stevie and Lindsey having any contact with Sara whatsoever. The girl didn't call, didn't answer the phone and even when Stevie and Lindsey had showed up at Stevie's parent's house and kept knocking on Sara's bedroom door, she had refused to open it up.

It was nerve-wracking for each of them and Stevie longed so desperately to speak to her daughter that it was nealy killing her. She had already missed her girl when she had been gone to New York for weeks but having her only a few miles away but still not being able to reach her was even worse.

Stevie knew she had hurt her daughter immensely. And she hated herself so much for what had happened to her 16 years ago, for taking all these drugs, for not remembering anything.

Deep down inside her heart, Stevie prayed that Lindsey was Sara's father. And when she really thought about it, she had to admit that she had seen him a few times in her daughter. It was the way Sara had always been able to soothe her, to comfort her, to make her feel safe and loved, just like Lindsey did. It was in the way she played guitar and listened to music, how she got totally lost in her creativity sometimes and wasn't reachable for anybody. It was in her laughter, in the way she spoke and looked at her...  And all those years, she had cursed herself for thinking Sara could be related to Lindsey because she was sure she was only making something up in her head because she wished for it. Now, that the possibility was really there, it was overwhelming her.

She knew she should care more about Lindsey and his feelings, right now. Although she saw that he was trying to stay calm, deep inside he was freaking out. She saw how nervous he was, his sweaty hands, how he was always running his hand through his hair or played with his fingers everytime he thought Stevie was not watching him.

He wanted to stay strong for her because he knew how heavy this situation was on her and she loved him for being so selfless. But it wasn't right.

Since they had found out about Lindsey possibly being Sara's father, they hadn't slept with each other once. It seemed like none of them were able to do it, right now. And as much as she missed him, and she was sure he missed her as well, they just couldn't have sex. Both of them were way to occupied with their thoughts and feelings and she knew it wouldn't get any better until they got the results of the paternity test. So instead, of making love at night, they would just lay down in the dark, holding each other tight and hope everything would turn out right.

Three more days went by until one morning she found an envelope in their mailbox.

Stevie's hands ran nervously over the white paper as she brought it inside and showed it to Lindsey. He gasped in response and looked at her.

“Do we... I mean.. Shall we open it?”, he asked slowly, his eyes not leaving the envelope in her hands.

“I don't know, Linds.. I think we should wait for Sara, don't you think so?”

“Let's take the test, drive to your parents and open it up there together, then.”, he suggested, not waiting for her response but grabbing his keys and her hand and pulling her outside the house to his car.

They didn't say a word until they pulled into her parent's driveway twenty minutes later, both deep in thoughts and nervous as hell.

When he stopped the car and none of them dared to get out and do the first step, she grabbed his hand, placed a kiss on it and said: “Lindsey, I want you to know one thing! Regardless of how this test will turn out, I love you and I always will. It's not going to change anything between us.”

He looked at her, tears in his eyes, and nodded sadly. He then bent down and kissed her hard. She returned the kiss as passionately as possible.

“I love you, Steph!”

“I know. And I love you.”

They rang the bell and waited for someone to open up the door. Finally, Barbara appeared and welcomed them in.

“Where's Sara?”, Stevie asked immediately and looked around for her daughter.

“She's upstairs in her room..”, Barbara said but Stevie had stopped listening already and ran upstairs, Lindsey following her.

She knocked softly at the door.

“Come in.”, Sara said, assuming it was one of her grandparents.

When she saw her mother entering the room she felt hot waves of anger, disappointment, sadness, love and longing overwhelming her.

Stevie slowly walked in the room, her eyes not leaving Sara who was sitting in her bed, reading a book. Lindsey followed her behind, closed the door and both of them sat down next to her on the bed. Sara saw the envelope in her mother's hands and her heart skipped a beat. She looked at her and suddenly all the anger was forgotten.

“I missed you so much, Mom..”, she cried and crawled into Stevie's arms who welcomed her lovingly, stroking her daughter's back and holding her tight.

“I missed you, too, Sara. So, so much, baby.”

Both of them were crying now and Lindsey watched the scene sadly.

“And I missed you, too, Lindsey..”, Sara then said and hugged Lindsey who happily returned the hug and held onto her for longer than intented.

“Have you opened it yet?”, she asked suddenly and looked at the couple anxiously.

“No, we wanted to do it together, Sara..”, Lindsey replied and grabbed both, Stevie's and Sara's hands to squeeze them.

“Okay..”, Sara nodded, “but first of all, I wanna say something.”

Stevie and Lindsey held their breaths for a moment until Sara spoke again.

“I want you to know that I love you both. No matter how this test turns out.. Mom, I am still hurt, you have to understand that. But I know, even though it was you who was so high on drugs to not remember anything, that it wasn't your intention to hurt me. I was just so confused and overwhelmed by this whole situation and I simply needed some time on my own to process what happened..”

“I know, baby..”, Stevie said softly.

“..and now that I had some time to think about it I want you, Lindsey, to know that I wish with all my heart that it is you. And even if it isn't, I have no intention whatsoever to find this other man. You are the first man at my mom's side who came ever close to being a father to me... and I don't wanna miss you..”, she ended in tears.

And now, Lindsey was the one to cry, too. Sara had just washed away all those fears that had been haunting him for the last two weeks.

“Sara...”, he sobbed into her hair, while hugging her again, “I wish you were mine.. But if not, I still love you as much..”

Stevie watched their desperate effort to comfort each other in this complicated situation and it was breaking her heart.

“Shall I open it up?”, she eventually asked with a shaky voice and pointed at the envelope.

Sara and Lindsey looked at each other again and then nodded.

The last few seconds until she finally read out the results felt like hours to all of them. The tension in the air was unbearable.

Stevie read the lines and she just fell apart.

“The DNA of Sara Luna Nicks and Lindsey Adam Buckingham are compatible to 99.99996 %.”