Some Things Never Change

Dream a little dream of me

 "Steph?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Oh.. nothing special..", she said, quite surprised by his question.

He lifted up his head and looked at her, "Just tell me!", he demanded.

"I wonder what we are doing here.. I mean, what is this all about? I spent the last four days trying to figure out what happened. I was terrified, I was insecure. I didn't want to speak to you anymore. Then, you come by, knock at my door and suddenly I act as foolish as I did five days ago.."

"Why do you say that?"

She could see that her words had hurt him immensely.

"Because it is the truth, Lindsey! What is it that you do to me? Why can I never let go of you? Why do we always come back to this?"

"Come back to what exactly?"

"Why do we always end up in bed again?", she asked him, tears gathered up in her eyes, "It seems to be the only thing we are capable of. We wanted to be friends, you remember?", she added, her lips now trembling.

"I cannot be friends with you, Steph. It's impossible!"

"Why, Linds? Why?"

"Because I'm in love you."

"Don't say that!"

"Why not? It's how I feel."

"Because we're not good for each other, Linds. We never were. In the beginning, it's always wonderful and sweet and then we end up doing cruel things in order to hurt each other. I can't do this anymore, I just can't handle it. I'm too old for this."

"Steph, it doesn't have to be like that!", he tried to soothe her – it didn't work.

"Lindsey, we can't continue that. If we do, I end up falling in love with you again – and I just can't suffer from another heartache. It's too much."

"Stevie, don't say that! You promised me you give us another chance to work things out, to make it right. You promised me..."

"When have we ever kept a promise we made?!"

He looked at her, his eyes wide, a single tear running down his cheek. He shook his head, "I can't lose you again, Steph.. Please, don't ruin it before it even started. Give us a chance. I'm begging you!"

He took her face into his hands and went on: "A second chance – that's all I'm asking from you."

She closed her eyes. She couldn't bear his look any longer. Those piercing blue eyes that were begging her to stay.

"Linds, this is not only about us, anymore. It's not only you and me in this relationship! I have a daughter. If we screw it up again, how will I go on? How can I be there for her when I'm in pain? The last few days have already been hard for me. She knew something was going on. Even though I didn't tell her I saw that she was worried. I remember the last time we broke up, Lindsey – it was so hard! I cannot handle this pain again and she cannot handle me being fragile, not being able to take care of her.."

"Why do you always think so negatively?! Why do you always expect the worst things to happen, Steph? What if it turns out well? What if we finally get happy?"

"How can you think so positively? After all that happened in the past? After all we did to each other? How can you still think that we can work things out?"

"I feel it!", he said with such confidence in his voice that it made her stop speaking, "Things are different, now. You changed, I changed!"

"But Linds, what if I turn out to be a pain in the ass again and you get back to being a possessive, jealous asshole that makes me do even more stupid things in order to hurt you?!"

"I won't go back to being a possessive, jealous asshole ever again, Steph!"

"How do you know? How can you be so sure of..."

"Because I went to therapy, Stevie!"

"You did what?!"

She couldn't believe what he had just said. Had he really done that? Had he really worked on his ego, his jealousy, that made her run away in the first time? She looked up at him, completely irritated and surprised by his words.

"I did. After things escalated with Carol Ann, I knew I had to do something about it. But I wasn't ready to actually take that step until I left the band back in 1987!"

"I cannot believe you actually did this!", she said with astonishment in her voice.

"Believe me, I did, Steph. I knew I couldn't go on like that! I was ruining every relationship I've ever had because of my fucking jealousy. It drove me insane."

"I realized you had changed for good, Linds, but I had no idea you took such a huge step!"

"You've always wanted me to take that step, you remember? Before we broke up in the 70's, you told me you'd only stay with me if I go and actually do something about it or you'd leave me. I didn't go and I lost you! I'm not willing to let that happen again! You understand me?"

He now looked at her with such a seriousness in his eyes that she finally nodded.

"Is this a yes, Steph?", he asked.

She nodded again.

"You're willing to try it again? Willing to give us a second chance?"

"Yes, I am.", she nodded eagerly, tears running down her face as she happily wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard.

The rest of the night, they spent speaking about their future together, making love and holding onto each other tightly until they finally went to sleep, the radio playing Louis Armstrong's "Dream a little dream of me" as the sun began to rise and covered the rooftop in a beautiful golden light.