Dunderhead - A Harry Potter story: Snape becomes Harry's mentor

Chapter 6: WEAK

"I was angry!" Harry shouted, aggravated all over again. Snape had stood to look down upon him, and he was standing there in full bat glory, surveying him in the nauseating, intimidating way that he always did.

"Tone, Potter." The dour man warned.

But Harry did not hear or care and, for the second time that evening, he exploded with all the pent up rage from years worth of frustration. "I don't understand why, from the moment I stepped into Potions four years ago, you've targeted me! From my first day you singled me out and used every opportunity to bully me! What have I ever done to you? I can't understand why you hate me so much. What did I ever do to make you treat me like that, like this!" Harry shouted, gesturing dramatically to the side of his head.

Snape glared at Harry, "Everything just has to revolve around you, doesn't it, Potter?" He scoffed.

"But that's my point!" Harry argued, "This has everything to do with my father, not me. It's you and your grudge against him. You do this because you want to get back at my dad for what he did to you in school. You want revenge and it feels great to finally be able to get back at him for all the misery he's put you through." Harry took a breath to take a brave step closer to Snape. "That's why you keep doing it, and there's nothing I can do about it because you have the power, and one wrong move from me and -" Harry clicked his fingers here to illustrate his point, his eyes flashing as he left this sentence hanging in the air. The gash on the side of his head still winked with blood in the low light of the dungeon and Harry felt the man's eyes hover over the wound. Snape's face was inscrutable for a second before the Potions Master glared at Harry. Harry was sure that, in all his years as Professor in this school, nobody had every dared speak to Severus Snape in such a manner.

"You will show me respect." Snape growled, glaring down at Harry menacingly. "Do not presume to know anything about me. You are exactly like your father was, disrespectful, irresponsible, a pampered and arrogant child!"

Harry bristled again with frustration at Snape's reply, nearly stamping his foot in frustration. They were going around in circles! "Aren't you a hypocrite, sir?" Harry demanded, "You are doing exactly what my father did to you all those years ago. You do it because you can, and because it feels nice to have the final say and give the Potters what's coming to them. I suppose I should congratulate you, Professor. You've managed to get your revenge on my father, through targeting his son. I would say that vengeance was served long ago, and yet you keep at it!"

"I have said nothing to you which you did not deserve! Now get out of my sight!" Snape shouted back, strands of his greasy black hair flicking angrily about his head.

If Dumbledore had seen the next scene he would have stepped in rather swiftly at this point to prevent what happened next.

"I am not my father." Harry said in a quieter tone, trying to control the shaking anger building in his chest. "I don't care how much you think we resemble each other. I'm not James Potter! If you want an example of James Potter, look at Malfoy!" Harry cried. "Better yet get yourself a mirror!" Harry finished as suddenly as he had begun, panting angrily.

"SILENCE!" Severus bellowed in a great explosion of rage.

He lifted Harry to his feet with the shock of the shout, and pointed to the door. "Enough! I have warned you not to disrespect me, Potter! Get out! Get out of my sight! Do not show your face in my presence ever again!"

Harry decided that the man looked ready to wring his neck and, if Snape had only been considering expelling him before, he certainly wasn't simply pondering the idea any longer. Harry knew that he had just made things worse, and yet he believed in every word that he had said to the man, because they were true. Nevertheless, Harry swallowed his pride once more and backed off, this was a battle he could not win. "I'm sorry," he muttered. He broke off, looking down at his feet.

Severus' venom towards his students was rarely justified but this seemed to be one of those rare times that it was. "SCRAM, POTTER! Do not make me tell you again!" Severus thundered, pointing towards the door.

Harry gasped and jumped back instinctively. His arms moved upwards to protect his head, though it was more of a reflex than conscious fear. 

Snape brought his hand back down to his side quickly, having noted the boy's flinch. He felt anger all over again at the recognition that he had elicited such a response from Potter through his earlier violence. The boy was supposed to be full of bravado, he was not supposed to flinch.

Harry made a move to leave but paused and, in hindsight, Harry would wonder what had made him freeze like that. It had always been a fight or flight response with him, yet now he wasn't running, and it was at a time when it probably would have been the most sensible thing to do.

Meanwhile, Severus Snape was barely holding onto his composure, and he always had composure. Unless you introduced something as impossible as Potter, apparently.

Harry, on the other hand, had no composure. The tears that he had held back for the longest time now refused to be contained. It was over. Snape did not believe him to be remorseful of his past actions; when had invaded Snape's privacy in the pensieve, and now he was going to be kicked out of the school. He was going to be expelled. The Ministry was going to jump at the chance to snap his wand and he would be exiled to the muggle world forever.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to call you that name," Harry muttered desperately. "I was just like my father in that moment." Harry said dejectedly with his head down and shoulders slouched. "I'm sorry." And, all at once, it came crashing down on Harry, how much the year had been one catastrophe after another. From loneliness at Private Drive and being kept in ignorance by everyone, from the Dementors attack to the Ministry trial, and from Dumbledore's icy front to Umbridge's painful detentions, it was one thing after another. Harry had dealt with harsh accusations from his peers regarding Voldemort's return, and the Daily Prophet's ruthless slander. These lessons to overcome the strange visions haunting his sleep were just the most recent troubles. Yes, everything that was going on in his perfect, spoon-fed, life just felt like too much to cope with suddenly. Why did people assume that his life was so grand, Harry wondered bitterly. He'd held it all inside, up until now. His outburst upon arriving at Grimmauld Place had been evoked by pure anger and resentment, a result of his frustration against being left out of plans and information which directly impacted him and those he cared about. 

Though Harry's explosion of rage earlier this evening with Snape had got rid of some of his pent up emotions, now all he felt was an all-encompassing exhaustion. Because Harry was so tired of being Harry Potter, he was so sick of being the Saviour-of-the-Wizarding-World. He  was confronted with so much at once day-to-day that he did not know which way to turn anymore. His life contained so many difficulties and complications.

Unfortunately, Harry's vulnerability had found the most unfortunate time and place to burst. Harry barely payed attention to the bewildered man standing opposite him as his defences came down. It had been a long time since Harry had cried: Harry had taken life's misfortunes in his stride. He had not cried when he had faced Voldemort in the back of Quirrel's head, he had not cried when he had broken his arm, he had not cried when he was dying from Basilisk poison. Harry had not wept when his hopes of a family with Sirius had flown away with Buckbeak, he had not cried for every single time Dumbledore had refused his pleas to be allowed to stay anywhere else than with the Dursleys, and he had not cried when Cedric Diggory had died, just last year. Although, he had come close to giving into the relief of crying when Ron's mother had held him so gently after the events but, even then, he had not cried.

Yet Harry had so much to cry about, far more than any regular teenager. And so he cried.