ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ | ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ ᴊᴀʏ ꜰꜰ

Dear Jiwon, III

September 9, 2020

Dear Jiwon,

I want to give up on my life just like everyone claims you did. But that's not what you want, right? You used your last breaths to tell me to not give up and live on, but how come you couldn't follow your own advice? I'm really starting to wonder if you did that to yourself. I keep on thinking of the last sentence you said, "It's their fault." You put up 4 fingers does that mean that by THEIR you mean 4 people? Is that it? Why would you have called me if you were going to jump off? 

Maybe I should stop thinking about it...

Today is the birthday of your favorite idol, I remember that the week before you were already planning on what to send to his agency. You told me that he was one of the people that gave you hope, inspired you, and made you happy. You should've stayed to say these things to him...

I went to the rooftop today. I was scared to go, I don't even know why I went there. My guts told me to. It was supposed to be locked since, you know, but for some reason, it was unlocked. I walked in and there was a senior there standing at the edge of the roof. I called him out shedding a river of tears lecturing him, remembering you. I wondered what was going through his mind. Maybe he was thinking the same thing you were. He claimed he was only standing there, thinking but I didn't believe it at all. He left me there, shattered.

He had helped me a couple days back. This guy keeps appearing in front of me. His name is Park Jongseong or Jay. What's even weirder is that later today, I met him coincidentally after meeting with Hyunwoo. We went somewhere which made my worries go away for a while. For some reason, even though he is cold, I feel warm and safe when I'm with him...

A/N: Which Idol do you think it is??