Words

Cruelty

I'm sick and tired of people whispering behind my back, I know what you're talking about.

Pathetic little bitch. Disgusting freak. Loser.

I know, I already know that I am. I don't need to hear it a thousand times, I don't want those voices and words ringing in my ears when I'm walking home. I want to be left alone with my family and my own amazing friends. I want cheers and laughter to fill my ears, not venom and cruel words.

Lonely. Idiot. Bitch. I hate those 3 words, yet they represent me perfectly.

I feel lonely all the time, like nobody actually knows the real me. I want to be alone, but not alone where I'm the only person to cry myself to sleep and have nightmares. I want the shadow of loneliness to be whisked away by the wind, and into the light where it can burn.

I'm such a fucking idiot. I know that, and I'm fine with it. But when I'm told a hundred times a day, it grinds my gears. I say it to myself so much, that even my friends are like 'what are you doing?'

I'm a bitch. So what? I can be told that all day and not give two shits about you. How's your life right now? Are you called a bitch every day and behind your back? Do you feel so pathetic that you just want to die? Well, tell me. How's your life? Are you happy with what you've done and what you've achieved, because I've achieved nothing!

Absolutely fucking nothing. (Except gaining a babe.)

So tell me, what do you want me to do? I was born this way, how am I supposed to change myself? Oh I know, why don't you just kill yourself?

Don't worry, I've thought about it plenty of times. I'm just not at that stage yet.