Words

Broken.

I hope I don't confuse or startle anybody with this.. update. I'm completely fine and happy, as a matter of fact, I'm currently in a relationship! I'm very happy with where I am.

However..

I sometimes feel that I'm just not good enough, you know?
You ever have that feeling that, people are talking behind your back and just.. feeling that you're worthless?
I know this is gonna completely contradict myself but I just want to let some stuff out.

For some reason, I just don't feel good enough. Like.. It's not my friends, it's not my partner, I'm putting so much pressure on myself for things. Everyone else is already getting their licenses, and have jobs and I'm just sitting here.. doing nothing good with my life. I'm, too introverted and have social anxiety to even prepare or think about those things. I'm so worried about my future and life as it is right now and I'm just so sad with how I am. I don't mean physically just.. mentally and emotionally. I'm not prepared for the "real world" at all.
I don't know how I'm supposed to write out a resume, I don't understand how people can be so outgoing and how people my age are already working. I'm so anxious and there's so much stress hanging in my shoulders about all of this. Even my parents expect that I need to start working and yet they don't seem to remember how shy and nervous I am.

I feel worthless sometimes. I'm not as good as everyone else. Sure, I have "talents" or "hobbies" but that doesn't mean I'm good at it and will gain money or a job for it. My partner has many talents and I'm not really jealous, I just don't get how someone can be so perfect and do all these things with their life whilst I'm too scared to go outside in fear of being judged for something I do wrong or say.

Just a little rant... over. I don't know if this will be a constant thing or not but.. I hope not. Sorry if I worried anybody.