I did not actually know about the existence of soup the dog when I wrote this
Gerard truly loved Mikey, but sometimes his decisions were the worst fucking ideas. For example, he decided to go on a week long vacation with his wife Kristen and left the baby with her uncles Gerard and Frank.
Neither of them had any experience with babies except for Gerard's minuscule memory of keeping Mikey entertained when he was three. They managed to put her to bed the first night Mikey and Kristen dropped her off, but they both got woken up in the middle of the night by her crying, which involved yelling at each other and frantic googling before getting her back to sleep, jerking each other off to relieve stress, and then immediately falling asleep on top of each other again.
They made it through until the morning, and then did Rock Paper Scissors on who had to change her diaper. Gerard lost, but Frank had to be in the room reading instructions. So neither of them really won.
It was breakfast now, and they were feeding her Cheerios amongst their own breakfast.
"You think she's too young for coffee?" Frank asked, earning a smack from Gerard. "I'll take that as a yes."
"Open up, Rowan." Gerard smiled and held a cheerio up to her. She simply took it out of his hand and threw his across the room. "Thanks. Good thing we have a human vacuum."
"That implies that the roomba is human."
"Technically, it does eat our skin particles."
"Horrifying! Thank you for that image, darling."
"You're welcome, honey." Gerard smiled and puckered his lips at Frank, who kissed him and stood up. "Come on, we gotta feed this bitch."
"Don't swear in front of her!"
"You think she understands me, Frank? Hell no. You can swear in front of her as much as you want."
"Yeah, until Kristen calls you mad about her first word being fuck."
"If she spends enough time with us it will be."
Frank rolled his eyes. "Can you keep her busy for an hour? I have a meeting."
"Yep. Go." Gerard blew a kiss to him and gave Rowan another cheerio, which she threw across the room. Frank released the roomba, which instantly went for the Cheerios.
"Come on, you gotta eat. What? Do you want applesauce?" Gerard looked at the instructions Kristen had written out for food. "You can have that for breakfast. Ugh, broccoli for dinner. I don't envy you, kid. Let's get you some applesauce."
Rowan giggled.
"What're you laughing at?" Gerard smiled and stood up. "I know I look funny, but I only have so much self esteem, you don't have to laugh at me."
Rowan didn't say anything, just launched her bowl of Cheerios onto the floor. Gerard sidestepped the roomba that raced over to get them and put some applesauce in a small bowl. "Soup, please don't eat the bowl."
Soup the roomba was indeed trying to eat the bowl, so Gerard picked it up and set it on the table. "Here you go, Rowan, open up. Here comes the airplane!"
She opened her mouth as Gerard made airplane sound effects and put the spoon in her mouth.
By the time Rowan finished eating, Frank was done with his meeting. He came back out and picked up Gerard's now cold bagel, taking a bite out of it. "Interesting breakfast?"
"Soup ate all her cereal."
"Soup? You named the roomba Soup? Really?"
"I like that name! Also the first thing he did when we got him was clean up the soup I spilled because I accidentally tripped on him."
"Another first thing he did was try to eat my sock, why isn't his name sock?"
"Because." Gerard wiped Rowan's mouth up and turned to eat his own breakfast. "You let me name him."
Frank shook his head.
Rowan made grabby hands at Frank, so he came closer and picked her up. "Hey, girly. What's up? Wanna- oh, that's my hair."
Rowan was apparently intent on making Frank go bald, because she was pulling his hair hard.
"You know, I'm not really into this. It's better when your uncle does it," Frank said.
Gerard choked on his bagel. "Babe!"
"It's true! I like when you pull my hair." Frank winked and then held a hand to the roots of his hair. "Jesus, she has a good grip. Ro? Let go? Pull a little bit softer, please."
She let go of his hair and wrapped her little arms around his wrist. Frank bounced her on his hip.
Gerard stood up and washed the cream cheese off his hands. "You look cute with a baby."
"That's why I have you." Frank bumped noses with him.
"Yeah, but an actual baby. Not me."
"I don't know what you're talking about, you are a baby."
"Pretty sure that would make you a pedophile, babe." Gerard kissed his cheek and cleaned up the breakfast plates. "Should we go play in the living room? All her toys are there, and she looks like she's about to cry."
"Yeah, let's do that." Frank led the way to the living room and laid Rowan down on a play mat. She reached out, so he handed her a little lion stuffed animal.
Gerard laid on his stomach, frowning. "Why is she crying?"
Rowan was indeed in tears, and had thrown the stuffed lion across their living room.
"Um...oh, maybe she wants to see Kristen. Can babies actually recognize their moms?" Frank frowned. "I'm not sure. Should we call them?"
"Text first and ask to call."
They got a 'no' from Mikey, and a much kinder, 'we're at dinner rn' from Kristen.
"Dinner, where the fuck did they go?" Gerard rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling of Rowan's play mat. "What's wrong, Ro?"
"Maybe she just wants to be held." Frank knelt down and picked her up. She calmed down immediately and grabbed his hand. "Mm, I guess so."
Gerard smiled. "We're never having kids, I promise you that, but you do look so cute holding a baby."
"You don't wanna have kids?" Frank looked up.
Gerard hesitated, sensing the beginning of an argument. "I mean...not really. I like us as we are now. I don't think we're ready, I'm ready for kids. Anyone I tried to raise right now would end up with issues."
Frank bit his lip. "I want kids."
"Maybe...maybe in a few years. I'm not ready now. But I might be someday, Frankie."
That seemed to put Frank at ease. "Someday," he said, and nodded. "Someday is soon enough for me."
Gerard crawled over and pressed his lips to Frank's.
