Spotlight Girl //a Jeremy Jordan Fanfic//

Ten: What Next?

Jeremy's POV

I have a daughter. 

For 16 years I've had a daughter and I only just find out about this vital and very much life changing information, officially, merely an hour ago.

I had about 10 thousand questions and it took all my will power not to let them spill out of my mouth like a waterfall once we left the hospital. Jamie walked beside me in silence, clutching the paper that held the results of the blood test tightly to her chest as she stared off into space.

We found a little cafe not too far away from the apartment me and Ashley were renting for the next few months and found some seats near a window and sat down. We ordered some drinks and just sat there in silence for a few minutes, not knowing where to start or how to open up the floodgate of questions and feelings towards this whole situation...then Jamie speaks.

"I can't believe it," she mumbled, mostly to herself, staring down at the piece of paper in her hands. "finally, after 16 years of questions, I got the answer I've been wanting so desperately to know..." 

A moment passes between us before she starts grinning, looking up at me and bursting into fits of giggles. I couldn't help but smile, letting out my own bouts of laughter at the craziness of this whole situation. 

In a way, I too got the answers I had no idea I'd been craving for the last 16 years too...well, kind of, I still wasn't too sure about the email or if it was even Julia who wrote it to me, but at least I have some kind of understanding as to why she didn't want to tell the whole truth...

After just a couple more minutes, we began talking for what felt like hours. Jamie told me all about her life in England and what it was like growing up in the village where she lived in Cornwall and about how her Mom made a living breading horses on a farm.

"She was a vet," she explained, sipping her ice tea. "looked after every animal under the sun, but her expertise was in the field of horses and equestrienne beasts." She smiled, her eyes shining with a subtle hint of sadness to them.

It was fascinating to hear about her life, her home, her friends and her mom.

Her Mom.

I was still trying to wrap my head around that. Julia - a Mom. And me - a Dad, all this time and I never even knew it. I placed my hand over hers without a second thought. "If I'd known," I began, wrapping my fingers around hers gently, "I would've been there...for the both of you. You know that right?"

Jamie smiled that sad smile again, nodding as her eyes found the table, obviously trying to hold back tears and I couldn't help but feel just a little bit angry. But not at Jamie.

I remember how Julia and I would take long walks along the beach near her house and just talk for hours and hours about life and our future plans, our families and what it would be like to have a family of our own one day. There was no doubt in my mind I wanted Julia as part of my future, whether that meant us being together or apart, I couldn't see a future that didn't include her, even if it was just as my friend...then she sent that email out of nowhere and blocked all ways of contacting her and I spent years wondering why.

How I wish I'd known what she was going through, I would've  been by her side in a heartbeat and focused all my time and energy on making sure she and the baby were taken care of...

Jamie continued telling me all about her life at school and her friends.

"Evie's my best friend," she explained. "And most definitely the most dedicated and full on theatre kid I know!"

"Then there's Ethan who is the most chill guy I've ever met and a huge Star Wars fan, we quote Obiwan Kenobi all the time and it annoys the hell out of Evie!" She laughed, her eyes filling up with tears again.

"Finally there's Isla, she's a wannabe DJ and she's SO GOOD! Changes her hair colour every month, this month it's electric blue."

They all sounded like amazing friends and I was so happy to see how happy a kid she was and the life she lead was a happy one. She then moved on to school stuff and how she was taking her GCSE's in a few months, which she explained was kind of like the ELSATS we had here in the states and the friends she had back home.

As she talked I realised just how much I had missed out on and how I wished to turn back the clock and be there for her...then I remembered Ashley. My beautiful, wonderful Ashley and the baby she was growing inside her. How on earth was I going to explain this whole situation to her?

I must've looked lost in thought because when I looked back to Jamie, she was looking at me expectantly, as though she just asked me a question.

"You okay?" She asked, finishing off her drink and eyeing mine which was still half full.

Clearing my throat I nodded, taking a few big gulps of my coffee before sitting forward and composing myself. "Yeah, it's just...Look, it's awesome that you took that step and found me here, it's been amazing to meet you and get to know you over the last 3 days..." I trail off, rubbing my face wearily.

A look of understanding passed over Jamie's face, nodding along with what I was saying as though she knew exactly what I was going to say. "It's just...I have a wife and...and she's pregnant...and this has all just kinda come out of nowhere and she doesn't know about...any of this."

Jamie, still with that knowing look on her face, nodded her head, a slight hint of hurt and sadness shining in her eyes. "Yeah, I get it. I honestly didn't mean to come in and disrupt your life Jeremy...I just wanted to meet you and for you to meet me."

Shaking my head insistently, I continue quickly. "No! no no no! That's not what I meant...I mean, yeah, it was a shock to us both I'm sure and I've loved meeting you, but...I just feel bad for lying to my wife and...I think it'd be best for her to know...about you that is."

She seems to consider this for a moment, mulling it all over in her head. I couldn't blame her for looking hurt. I don't know what she was expecting from her search for her birth father, whether she mentally prepared herself for the fact he might have another family or didn't even want to be a part of her life, which just simply isn't true.

After what felt like hours, Jamie sighed and nodded. "Okay..." she finally uttered, standing from the table. 

"Let's go see your wife."