But I Still Want You | Jikook ✓

Chapter 23

Jeongguk

-Seoul - Present Day-

I'm woken up by my bedroom door slamming loudly. The sound makes me flinch and I pull the blankets over my bare chest as my maid stomps into my room without permission, her eyes burning with a fierce, fire-like anger.

The brunette glares at me, her hands crossed over her chest. "Look who finally decided to show up."

"Mhm." I rub my eyes.

"You know what? You're such a fucking waste of a heart and money. I don't know why your parents even paid for your surgery and for you to have a house. You don't even have a life. I have never seen you do anything of use—you're just lazy and unmotivated, always disappearing for long periods of time and returning whenever you feel. It's like you're living in a whole different world with how you daydream constantly! Get a job!"

I just smile, remembering Jimin's kiss. If I were to take that door, he'd be asleep in my arms in the other world.

A fierce stinging snaps me out of my daze and I place my hand to my red cheek, glaring at my maid.

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you. You are a waste of space. Your parents don't even try anymore. They just throw money at things so they don't have to see the face of their failure son."

I narrow my eyes at her. "Get out of my fucking room. Now."

She huffs, her gaze borderline homicidal as she slams my door shut on her way out.

Massaging my temples, I exhale. She's right. My life here is a mess. But it's not my fault.

Ever since Minji's death, my family has been pushing me away. I guess their son having his gay lover's heart beating in his chest was cause for distance, rather than a reason to comfort and get me therapy.

Sending me off with a house and a maid who hates me was the most my parents would do.

I never forgot about Minji. Things were bad, but I always remembered my boyfriend. How I was too scared to say 'I love you' because I didn't want him to get too attached to someone living every day, not knowing if his heart would give out. But instead, I outlived him. It haunts me to this day, the thought he didn't know I loved him.

"I just want to become one with you even though it's wrong."

My past words make me place my hand over my chest. "I didn't mean literally."

"You really should have clarified then."

I scowl, looking up at the ghost beside the door leading to Jimin's world. Minji just giggles, walking over to me and sitting next to me in bed, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Like I meant I wanted you to die. You need to stop." I scrunch my face up.

Minji giggles. "But now we're always together. Doesn't that make you happy?"

"If I had to choose, I'd rather you be the one to live, Minji," I whisper.

He presses his lips to my forehead. "You have Jimin."

"Jimin and you aren't the same person. You don't even look the same."

Minji giggles. "I'm really flattered that you're in love with my soul. You just can't help but get pulled to me."

"I'm scared I'll hurt him. What if I'm bad news? Bad luck?"

"It's not your fault that I died. But it is your fault that I got to live on." He touches my chest and closes his eyes.