But I Still Want You | Jikook ✓

Chapter 17: I Killed-

Jimin

My heart pounds in my chest as I continue to steer the plane. Tears cloud my vision, so I have to keep wiping my eyes in order to follow the beacon. Being alone during this turmoil makes it all that much worse and I choke back a sob as I recount the events that happened all in one day.

Jungkook knows I love him and he is staying behind to protect me.

I don't know how to take this piece of information. Whether or not it means that he feels the same, I have no idea, but I do know that Jungkook finds my life to be precious and he doesn't want me to die, so I must try my best to stay safe so he is not fighting for no reason.

As the castle comes into view, I realize that Jungkook never taught me how to land the plane. My eyes widen and I curse, looking over the controls frantically. This cannot be happening. Just as I resolve to stay alive, I realize that I may in fact die? Why is fate so cruel? Why didn't Jungkook come with me? Where the heck is Yoongi?

"Min Yoongiiiiiiiiiii!" I scream, hoping the wizard can hear me and isn't out with Hoseok. But knowing him, he probably is. I continue to yell as I get closer to the castle, barreling towards it until I crash into the side, blacking out.

-

I find myself in the field of flowers where Jungkook took me before all of this started. It's nighttime, the lights of the moon, fireflies, and a quaint cottage illuminating the setting. Frogs croak and crickets chirp quietly as the nearby brook gurgles and sloshes gently. The sounds and atmosphere are calming. It's a place I could be forever.

When I squint my eyes, I take notice of a silhouette by the cottage and I set off towards it. If I'm not alone, I would like to be close to my company. As I get closer, I feel my pulse quicken and cheeks warm.

"Jungkook?" I ask, confused by his appearance.

The raven doesn't take notice of me. Instead, he looks up at the night sky, admiring the stars.

Once I'm within arm's reach, I touch the raven, but my hand fazes through. Furrowing my eyebrows, I continue to attempt to touch Jungkook.

The breeze flows through his hair and I ghost my fingers over his face. He looks so young here, like a teenager. Now that I think about it, he isn't as tall as usual either. Am I dreaming of a teenage Jungkook?

Shooting stars make streams across the sky and Jungkook's eyes widen, mouth forming a cute 'o.' He giggles, running towards a falling star. I run after him, curious as to what is going on.

Jungkook pauses in the middle of a field of tiger lilies, his hands cupped and glowing blue. Once I reach him, a faint gasp leaves my mouth.

"Is that Calcifer?" I ask myself, leaning in to see the small fire demon.

"You must be a powerful wizard to be able to catch me," Calcifer grins.

Jungkook nods resolutely. "I am, but I wish to be stronger so I can protect the ones I care about."

"I could make that dream a reality," Calcifer says.

The young teen's round, innocent eyes reflect the image of the small fire demon, skin tainted a soft baby blue due to Calcifer's hue. "How?"

"Sacrifice something to me. Your heart, perhaps?"

Jungkook's eyebrows furrow. "My heart...? I dunno. It's really special to me."

"I'll keep it safe. If I have it, it can't be broken."

"Really? You'll shield it from harm and heartbreak?"

"No, Kookie, it doesn't work like that," I tell him, putting my hand on his shoulder.

He doesn't notice.

Calcifer grins. "Yes. For as long as you live, I will protect your heart. You just have to give it to me."

"Okay."

"Jungkook, no!" I try to shake him.

His eyes fall closed as he brings his cupped hands to his mouth, tilting his head back as he swallows the demon whole. Jungkook's eyes shoot open and glow blue as he chokes, blood splattering on his hands as he begins to choke and cough, face contorting in pain.

I cover my eyes, unable to watch and unable to help. This is why Calcifer has to be kept safe. This is why they're tied together. This is why Madame Disha called Jungkook heartless.

Finally, with one last heave, Jungkook coughs up his heart, a faint blue flame glowing around it as it beats in his palms. The fire burns brighter until I can see Calcifer's face once again, the demon grinning widely.

"Now, we are forever connected."

-

A choked sob escapes my throat as I wake up and I shiver, holding myself tightly. When I come to, there is a gaping hole in the castle and I look around, debris falling off me. I stand up shakily and make my way to the hearth, leaning down by Calcifer since he makes me feel close to Jungkook.

"What just happened? Why did you crash through the castle? You could have killed me! You could have killed Jungkook!"

My throat closes up and I look down. "I-I wasn't able to keep Madame Disha from wanting Jungkookie. Sh-She saw right through me and knew my name. A-And she said horrible things about Jungkook and painted him out to be a monster when he's not."

Calcifer frowns. "He should come here before he gets us both killed."

I stare at the fire. "You did this to him, so you don't have the right to speak in such a way."

"How do you know that?"

"I saw it." I hold myself. "You took Jungkook's heart."

The fire remains silent.

"Why am I always alone?" I whisper. "When I need company the most, I feel the most isolated. It isn't fair."

Jungkook being so far away feels like a piece of me is missing. He heard my confession and he isn't around to properly respond. It feels like the world is crashing down on me.

He could really die out there and there's nothing I can do to help.

Tears well in my eyes and once the first sob escapes, I'm unable to keep the dam from bursting. I cry, upset with myself and the world for dealing me such terrible cards. Upset with the world for doing this to Jungkook. Upset with the war. Upset with Calcifer. Everything is hell. I just want it to end.

"J-Jimin, stop crying."

"Shut up, stupid demon. This is all your fault."

A strangled sound leaves his form. "Jimin, s-stop."

"Stop telling me to stop!" I scream, eyes widening as I see what I just did.

Instead of burning brightly, Calcifer is barely holding on.

I put him out with my tears.

I killed Jungkook.

Author's Note: So close to the eeeeeeeeeend.

What do you think of the chapter?

Make sure to take care and love yourself as best as you can.

With lots of love,

-BBM