Jimin
My fingers trace the strings of Jungkook's guitar that he lets me use as my eyes close and I quietly sing. I'm glad that I'm at least able to do this much. When I sing, I don't feel like my voice has changed any. I feel like myself. My voice isn't very pretty, but it's mine and it's comforting to have this familiarity with myself instead of feeling trapped inside a body that isn't mine.
I feel someone's gaze on me and I open my eyes only for them to meet Jungkook's. Blushing, I halt my playing immediately and hide myself behind my hands.
"Why did you stop?" Jungkook asks softly. "You sounded lovely. I can see you whenever you play."
Slowly, I remove my hands from my face and cradle the guitar, perplexed. "See me?" I whisper to myself.
Jungkook sits next to me on the bed and massages my neck with one hand. He looks at me with his big brown eyes, brushing my bangs behind my ears with his other hand. The mage looks content, smiling his bunny smile. "Yes. Please play again, anything you want. Whenever you play, I feel like I'm being healed."
I let him position himself so he can be close without getting in my way before beginning the song.
My eyes are closed as I sing quietly. The words come out naturally as I feel myself get comfortable despite my audience.
"Full of loneliness
This garden bloomed
Full of thorns
I bind myself in this sand castle
What is your name
Do you have a place to go
Oh could you tell me?
I saw you hiding in this garden
And I know
All of your warmth is real
The blue flower your hand was picking
I want to hold it but
It's my fate
Don't smile to me
Light on me
Because I can't get closer to you
There's no name you can call me
You know that I can't
Show you me
Give you me
I can't show you a ruined part of myself
Once again I put a mask on and go to see you
But I still want you
Bloomed in a garden of loneliness
A flower that resembles you
I wanted to give it to you
After I take off this foolish mask
But I know
I can't do that forever
I have to hide
Because I'm a monster
I am afraid
I am shattered
I'm so afraid
That you will leave me again in the end
Once again I put on a mask and go to see you
The only thing I can do
In the garden
In this world
Is to bloom a pretty flower that resembles you
And to breathe as the me that you know
But I still want you
I still want you"
When my eyes open, Jungkook's eyes are already locked on mine. He looks entranced as his hand rests beside my thigh. The wizard's breath fans against my face due to our proximity. It feels like an eternity passes before the unthinkable happens.
He kisses me on the forehead.
Author's Note: I told you "The Truth Untold" was the inspiration for this story. It's so perfect. I love this song a lot.
The end is close yet far at the same. The pace will be picking up because of this and as I warned in the beginning, chapters will be short. I hope you enjoy them anyway. I'll try and get another chapter up soon!
What do you think of the chapter?
Make sure to take care and love yourself as best as you can.
With lots of love,
-BBM
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But I Still Want You | Jikook ✓
FantasiPark Jimin has never found himself beautiful. Seeing himself as ugly wasn't merely an opinion-it was a fact. Because of this, he remained isolated in the hat shop he worked in until he found himself cursed by a wicked mage. Now ugly and appearing to...
