Boxing

🥊24th part 🥊

As I parked my car in the garage,I took the flowers and stepped on them mad. I got inside the house and immediately went in my room without saying a word. I just layed on my bed and some tears started rolling on my cheeks. I just can't believe it...She is with Ryland and still she lets me close to her. I feel so bad...I love her so much but she just played with me...I don't want to see her ever again...I know that it will be hard...I will miss her,but with time passing maybe I will get over her...I have to...Maybe it would be better if we didn't meet...It would be better if I didn't get mad and went to the football field...Oh yeah,now I can't go there because she might come too or if she doesn't,our memories will be there...ready to hunt me whenever I'm not prepared...Her smile became my weakest point and I don't know how I can continue living without seeing her...Before meeting her I used to have a normal life,but I wasn't completed...I always felt empty...She was the one who disappeared this emptiness with love...What am I saying? That wasn't love...I loved her but she was just playing with my feelings...I don't even know why I am cussing her though. She didn't promise me anything,she didn't give me hopes that we might get together. I was being naive and just loving and loving her...If it was possible to clear these months from my memory? I bet it would be easier than what I'll go through now...It's better if I change now and go to sleep. I'm not in mood for anything. I just want to fall asleep and tomorrow when I wake up to see that what happened is just a bad dream...if that can't happen,then i would like to understand that I never actually met her,like all this was just my imagination. Do I really want this? Maybe yes,maybe not. I'm not able to understand myself now...