made to love you || ushijima wakatoshi x reader

twenty, part one

Words: 4231

By the time you'd gotten home, your emotions were locked as far away as possible. You hurt, every fiber of your being hurt, but the thought of having to talk about it or relive the memories sounded even worse. If Kenma saw you, and saw how upset you really were, there was no chance he'd let you go without explaining. So, really, this was the only way to make sure it went the way you wanted it to. You just had to ignore the way your body literally shook with the need to let it all out.

    You stepped inside, closing the door behind you and toeing off your shoes. Taking a breath, you began walking down the hall, the telltale signs of Kenma playing a video game coming from the living room. You walked past as fast as you could, hoping your brother would be too preoccupied with his game to notice you. Hopefully, it was just him, which limited your chances of getting caught.

    "Y/n!"

    You should've learned by now that it was foolish to hope.

    You froze, a deep sigh escaping you, before turning and going back to the living room. You stuck your head in, taking notice of everyone in there. Kenma was indeed in there playing a video game, Hinata sitting next to him and playing with his own controller. Kuroo was on the side of the room opposite of you, laid back on the couch and scrolling through his phone. And last but not least, Atsumu sat in an armchair next to the doorway. He was the one who'd called your name.

    "What are you doing here?" You asked, hoping your voice sounded more surprised-but-happy than dull and frustrated. But, as you knew, it was foolish to hope.

    "I wanted to hang out with you." He explained, standing up and moving in front of you, "You were still gone when I got here, but your brother said I could wait until you got back."

    "Oh."

    "So what are you up for?" Atsumu asked.

    Nothing. I'm not up for anything. The person I love just told me he doesn't care about me and he's getting on a plane and leaving in a matter of hours. I'm in so much pain that it's hard to breathe. I don't want to pretend to be happy around someone right now. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to break something. I want everything to be quiet, if only for a moment.

    That's what you wanted to say. What came out instead was, "Whatever you want. I'm good with anything."

    Stupid.

    "Oh, okay." He smiled, before furrowing his brows in thought, "Wanna go to a crowded place and eat snacks while we come up with life stories for people who walk by?"

    No. I'd rather do anything else. A crowded place sounds awful. "Sure, we can do that."

    "Great! Let's go, then." He exclaimed, moving past you and going towards the front door. You turned to follow him.

    "Y/n."

    You looked back at the room, eyes landing on your twin. His game was paused, and he was watching you with narrowed eyes. After another moment of inspecting you, he spoke, "What happened?"

    You felt your facade slip, just for a moment, but pushed those walls back up and plastered a smile on your face as quickly as you could. Damn his intuition. Of course he could tell that something was wrong with you. He always could, no matter how hard you tried. Sometimes it was really, really annoying.

    "Nothing. I'm fine." You lied.

    "Bullshit. What happened?" He asked again.

    "Kenma. Nothing. I'm fine. I've gotta go." You turned and tried to leave again.