THEN | Kim Taehyung FF✓

11

I know I said alot to him, but I just couldn't control myself, not when he questions my loyalty to him. And the fact that he believed a stranger than me, is what hurted me the most.

Grandma would never been happy to see him this way, but I didn't mean the other lines that I said. I was too angry. The anger in me that had been pent up for years and that day I just needed to let it out. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

All those years, I was suffering. The anger that I had towards what Taehyung was doing to me was getting more and more everyday. I love him but I am a human too. I can't keep letting go of my feelings just because the one I love will feel pain because of me. I needed to release whatever was inside of me. Just needed to.

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Taehyung didn't get back home for a week now. I didn't go to the shop too, kept it closed for the week, but today I thought maybe I should open it.

It was raining and the rain got more heavier, but as I was already so far from home, I decided to just go, maybe I could clean up the place.
The only place that'll give me the happy memories of Taehyung and I.

As I walked on the pavement leading towards our shop. I saw a man standing infront of the shop. And as I got neared I fully saw who it was. It was Taehyung. He was standing there with no umbrella, drenched in rain.
I was really happy to see him, and as I was about to walk towards him, I stopped, as I saw a woman walk up to Taehyung. Sharing her umbrella with him, they kiss.

Taehyung looked happy with her, she looked the same, they were happy together. When they broke the kiss, Taehyung looked at her with the loving gaze that he once had for me. That boxy smile that was once my reason for happiness is now someone else's.

The warm embrace that made me feel safe was now holding someone else.

The Taehyung that I would never share with anyone else, is not mine anymore.

I stood there, watching them walk away with their smiles.
I glanced over to the shop, and stepped back.

I couldn't do it anymore. Not after what I have seen. Not after what he made me feel.

I always wanted to keep him happy, give him all the love, care for him because I knew he felt the same for me.
But now after seeing that he got his new happiness, maybe the love he desired for, I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't stay.

I was always there because I knew he'd be back to me, now he won't and I can not stay.

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Always thought that love happens one day and ends, but he made me feel that love could be felt even till the end. It would've been better if I sticked to my old thinking. Atleast wouldn't have been this hurt.

All my time, my efforts, my loyalty, my love, all those never meant something for him. It was always something he'd get whenever he asked for. I gave myself so that he could be happy but he never thought about me when he left. I gave so much that maybe I lost myself in that process.
The period of 6years, made me realise that love is so pure that you don't see what you're doing to yourself unless you see your loved ones happy. And when they leave, you still wait for them, stand beside them no matter what they did to you. But when that Love is gone, and you see your love walking away from you, that is the only time you see where you are standing. Alone in the rain, your heart feeling the sharp pain as if you're going to die that very moment.

I was now left all alone, sitting on a bench, soaked in rain, watching the empty park filled with nothing but solitude.

Once I would've died for you. Would've done anything for you if I needed to.

I loved you
But that was

THEN.