THEN | Kim Taehyung FF✓

5

I could not understand where I did wrong. I tried my best to keep him happy and loved. I gave him all the love I had, but he was growing distant.

It was 1am and I was waiting for Taehyung to get home. He had been out the whole day and he didn't even answer the phone when I called.

I was sitting on the couch, head resting on the headrest, eyes looking at the wall clock that showed the exact time, 1:16am.
Just then the door opened, to which my head immediately turned to.

"Where were you?" The first question anyone would ask. I stood up from my place.

"I was with my friends. Why haven't you slept yet?" He answered followed by a question.

"I was waiting for you. I called and texted you multiple times but you never replied to any of them." I said and he checked his phone.

"I'm sorry, it was in silent." He said and proceeded towards the bedroom.

"Don't you want to eat something?" I asked, heading towards the kitchen.

"No." He simply answers.

I stopped on my tracks, tears suddenly filling my eyes due to various thoughts pondering in my head.

"What happened Taehyung?" I asked with a low voice while my head hung low. I saw him stop from my peripheral vision.

"Why are we so distant?" My voice slightly cracking, still looking down.

He walked up to me and stood infront of me.

"What happened Taehyung? Please tell me." The tears flowed down, when I looked up to meet his eyes.

The pretty brown eyes of his, that I haven't really looked into in many days.

He connected our foreheads, with his eyes closed, circling his hands around my waist. I close my eyes.

"I'm sorry that I'm making you feel this. But I promise that I'll do better. I'll be better. Please don't cry now. I'm here with you." He said and kissed my forehead.

He had this power in him that he could say anything and I'd follow it.
His words were comforting me. My doubts have already long forgotten when he held me in his warm embrace.

"I love you Y/n."
And those three magical words were enough to make the loneliness I had in me fade away.

"I love you Tae." With that he leaned in and kissed me.

He held me close to his body, with no gap between us.
One hand on my waist, other on my cheek, delicately holding me, while we kissed like there was no tomorrow.

My hands moved on its own to the back of his neck and pulled him closer than he already was.

The kiss soon turned into a heated session, and then intensified to a intimate session.

One of the feelings I missed feeling.

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Things went well for a limited time because it all went back to same, eventually.
Only the difference was that I was physically always there for him, both of us were.
But emotionally, none.
Of course with time, people tend to change and change is important, but so much change is also sometimes concerning.

I loved him, I knew that but whether it was the same from him was what disturbed me the most.
I believed him. If he said he loves me, I would blindly believe that, but the way he acted was another story.

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Completed 4 years together and still nothing got better, instead it got worse.

We both did stay together in the house, but it did not feel like home.

He would get drunk with his friends, come home and fight.
We fought on about everything.
About his friends, about how he was behaving, about the food that was made, or something really small and irrelevant.
And then we had an angry makeup sex. That was probably the thing that made both of us feel that there was still something between the us.
We were pleasured, satisfied with it, but still felt empty because the reason behind it was just lust and not love. What is the point of love making when there's no love in it.

I cried myself to sleep most of the nights when he would not come home.

The only reason I stayed, was because I still felt something for him. I felt the need to get him on the right tracks like he was before. I felt the need to make him happy again, make him mine again. All this because I still loved him, alot, and I know I was crazy for him.

But what if...
He did feel the same.