Suicide

Chapter 1

EMILY'S POV
I woke up with sore legs and arms. I always feel like this in the morning. It's because my parents and school. I have been cutting for 5 years now and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

I had an hour to get ready for school, so I decided to take a hot shower. When I got out I changed into a black crop top and black ripped skinny jeans. I put my shoes on and grabbed my phone and headed downstairs. I saw my father in the kitchen I quickly turned around and started to walk faster.

"Where do you think you're going" he looked at me with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No where dad" I tried to sound innocent.

"Get over here right now" I walked carefully and cautiously over to him. When I reached him he raised his hand and smacked me across the face." I should have never had you" he said. I slowly ay started to feel tear come down my cheek.

I walked out of my house with my backpack and phone. I'm ready for another day in this hell.

When I arrived at the school, there were the same three girls I always see everyday. I usually get my daily beatings from them. I tried to walk past them but  it was too late.

"You're not going anywhere slut" she said to me. She grabbed my shoulders and threw me against the schools concrete ground. I scuffed both of my elbows." you should go fucking die already" "nobody wants you here" they said as the kept kicking my rib age and my stomach repeatedly. After they stopped they just walked off and left me on the ground, without a word said to me. 

I stood up clutching my ribs while trying to walk to my class. Now everything hurts on my body. When I got to my class I sat down in the seat in the back of the class so people can't sit behind me. But there where these girls sitting in front of me and I could hear everything they were saying.

"Emily should just go kill herself I mean nobody wants her here"

"Right I hate seeing her ugly face everyday" they all laughed and nodded to each other. The teacher walked in and started the class. It was about an hour but nobody bugged me so that was good. When class ended I walked really fast to my locker to change my books for my next few classes.

Seconds later I got smashed into my locker. It made my lip bleed, and I got a headache real fast. I turned around to see who it was. It was Blaze the worlds scariest bully. Him and his crew started to laugh at me.

"You're such a slut Emily" they started to laugh again." just go die already" they said to me. They walked off to there class. I finished grabbing my books and headed to class. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't let everyone see me weak.

When I got to class it was just me. There were the jocks and the cheerleaders last but not least there was me. I didn't fit into any category besides the fat ugly bitch one. When the class started I felt instantly shocked when I heard the news. This substitute walked in and said

"You guys get free period your teacher is in a meeting all afternoon" she walked out of the room and everyone started to cheer, but me I didn't like having a free period because I usually got spent getting beatings from others. Blaze looked at me. He had a deep smile on his face. Oh no I need to get out of here.

I quickly grabbed all my things and ran out of the room and down the hallway and into the girls bathroom to try to hide from blaze. Instead I just walked on a couple of girls and they weren't happy I entered the bathroom. One girl walked up to me.

"This is the girls bathroom, you should try the janitors closet down  the hall it's perfect for a fat ass like yourself" I walked out of the bathroom and went into an empty classroom. I just sat in front of the door and bawled my eyes out till I couldn't shead another tear. I couldn't finish the school day. I decided to skip the rest of my classes and just go home.

When I arrived at my house my father was sitting on the couch. I always tried to avoid him because he wasn't the most pleasant father to have. He turned around and looked at me with an angry expression.

"WHY ARE YOU NOT IN SCHOOL EMILY " he yelled at me.

"because I was getting bullied and they were hurting me I couldn't go on dad" I don't know why I suck up to him all the time.

"GO TO YOUR ROOM" he yelled at me again. I was scared what he was going to do to me. I ran as fast as I could to my room. I sat on the bed and started to tear up. A few moment later he barged into the room.

"Emily Carter you know better than to skip school." I nodded and started to cry now " and you know everything comes with a consequence" he yelled at me again and I jut stopped crying.

"GOOD" he pushed me into my bathroom and locked the door so I couldn't get out. There was no window in there either so I was stuck In there.
"you are not coming out till tomorrow afternoon"

"okay" I said as he walked out of my room and slammed the door shut. I grabbed my blades from the cupboard debating on whether to cut my just healing skin. Why do I have to have this life? I should just die right? Maybe I will feel welcomed in heaven. Maybe get treated how I'm supposed to be and not get beaten for everything. I should just die! 

I decided to cut, and as I did I couldn't stop crying. I need to get the fuck out of here and go to heaven. I need a better life. Parents that actually care for me. A best friend to cry on when I need her. I should find them in heaven. Someday I will come someday.

 I put my blades back in the cupboard.  I tried getting comfortable to sleep so I grabbed towels and put them on the floor and tried to sleep.  Then I went to sleep on my very own bathroom floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EDITED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~