Suicide

Chapter 4

EMILY'S POV
When we arrived at my new home I was scared. Even though I have meet the boys I didn't know how it was living With 5 teenage boys. I actually have never had a boy best friend or a best friend at all. When harry grabbed my bag for me I felt bad he didn't need to be caring my stuff fore. Some boys are just gentlemen.

Me Zayn and harry stepped foot in the house that I was in like 10 minutes ago getting to know the boys. I think I will like it here better then living with my father that's for sure. That was hell for sure. Harry walked up the stairs and into a bedroom.

"We always have a guest room it's your room now" he looked up at me and smiled.

" thanks for everything you guys" I hugged him and he hugged me back. "Thx I'm going Going to go set up my room thanks harry" I kissed his cheek. I was embarrassed but I'm glad I have Friends and actual people to live with instead of a abuser.

I walked into the guess room technically my room and I put my suit case on the bed and started to unpack. It took me over a half an hour just to unpack and put it all away new record. I took out a crop top and jeans and slid them on really quick and headed downstairs with the boys.

When I got into the living room I got stares from all the guys they all had there mouths gaming open.

"Guys I'm not going to get use to guys starring at me every time I come down the stairs" they all blushed and turn there heads away from where I was standing "you guys can still look at me" they all turned there heads back at me.

I went to the couch and sat on it. I sat on the Middle cushion Louis was sitting in one side and the other side nobody was sitting there. I saw Zayn and harry race each other to get that spot. Of course harry one and he smiled at me and I turned my head to Louis he winked and I giggled at him.

"Zayn I feel terrible I will sit on the floor with you" he nodded at my choice. Harry and Louis pouted at me.

" I'm going to go to bed goodnight guys" I kissed all of there cheeks one by one and I finally got to Harry and he smile really bright I leaned in a Zayn stepped in front and I got his cheek.

"That was supposed to be mine Zayn" he yelled and I turned my head to reach Harry's cheek I kissed and headed upstairs and into my room. I closed the door gently and sat on my bed.

I took out my phone and sat on my bed. I logged onto Facebook and saw more people comment son my video.

Ryanlol16 commented on your video:
Slut stop making people feel bad for you you have no life and nobody in this fucking world gives a dam about you slut go kill yourself already. There is no place in this world for the worlds fat ass NOW GO DIE YOU WHORE.

I felt a tear in my eye last thing I knew I was crying I hate people. I grabbed my blades and started cutting again. What didi I ever do to them? Why should I live in a waste of space in this world. I got a knock from my door. I didn't answer I kept cutting thinking of how I should die and get out of this fucking horror, that I called hell.

Louis walked and he saw me and he came running towards me. I grabbed the blade from my grasp and ran out of the room. He came back 2 minutes later with no blade. "Omg Emi PLZ don't do this" he walked over to me and sat next to me" he took my arm and started to place his lips to each cut that I made. It was stinging like crazy.

"Louis please stop" I said to him. He nodded and backed away to the door frame

"Harry will be here in a Moment" he ran downstairs and all I could here was mumbling coming from downstairs. Before I knew it harry was in my room. Looks like he ran all the way up the stairs. He was breathing heavy. I just kept cutting nobody cares about this fat ass low life. I should just get out of everyone's hair and leave. I wonder if they will make people's lives with living. Harry ran to me and sat on the bed next to me trying to take the blade from me but I didn't let him.

" Harry STOP NOBODY WANTS ME HERE IM DOING YOU FAVOR" I yelled at him while he was still trying get the blade from me.

"AND WHAT IS THAT EMILY" he asked me he had a tear forming in his eye

"DIEING IF I DID EVERYONE WOULD HAVE A BETTER LIFE" I yelled back at him

" WELL ME IN THE BOYS LOVE YOU EMILY I MIGHT SOUND WEIRD CAUSE WE JUST MEET AND ALL BUT WE LOVE YOU AND WE CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU EMILY. SO STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF IT WONT HELP ANYBODY EMILY" he said I wanted to cry in his grasp he is a great friend and I love him so much for being there for me. He took the blade and leaned in for a hug. He took it and he put me on his lap. He held me really tight and for once I felt safe. I felt like I was in another world where I don't have to worry about this shit.

"We should get you cleaned up" he said I nodded and followed him to the bathroom. I grabbed a cloth and harry took from my hands. I stood in front of the counter he lifted me up and placed me on it. He grabbed my arm and placed out where he could touch all of my cuts.

"Tell me when it hurts okay Emily" I nodded he placed the now wet cloth on the opened skin. It stung a little but not to bad when he was finished he grabbed my hand. We walked halfway down the stairs when I asked

"Why are we going in the living room?"

"Because the boys need to know that you are okay" I nodded and allowed him to take me to the living room. When we got there I saw Louis bitting his nails and the others heads In there hands with there legs shaking. They all looked up at me instantly too see if I was okay. They all came charging after me.

"OMG EMILY ARE YOU OKAY HOLY SHIT ARE YOU OKAY" Zayn asked me. I nodded and told him I was fine.

"We should have a movie night" they agreed with that. We all decided that Zayn got to pick the movie this time. He picked Annabelle. The boys nodded and I shook my head no but 4 people beat 1 right. The movie started Louis shut off the lights and I sat next to harry and then Zayn was on the other side of me. When a picture of Annabelle appears on the t.v.out of nowhere I got jumped so fucking bad. Zayn lightly grabbed my shoulder and pulled me over to him where my head was in his shoulder.

"It's okay love" he said while he sneakly put his arm around my waist. I didn't no what to do I felt really awkward like this. I am really awkward around the boys because I have never had friends or guys to hangout with in that matter. I nodded he put his chin on my forehead this is when it got extremely awkward for me. I pulled away from under his chin I let his arm stay there.

When the movie was over I was sleepy and I felt like going to bed so that's exactly what I did. The boys decided they would stay up and have fun but I didn't. I needed sleep if I didn't get sleep I would be cranky and the boys shouldn't see that side of me.

When I headed up to the room I heard goodnights from all of the boys. I waved and said goodnight to the boys. I got to my bed and just plopped down on my bed and went to sleep.