Welcome to my Brain

Peace.

Have I fallen off the face of the earth? Nope! I'm still here! But I have not written in a few days, sorry!!

I've just been- happy. I normally am happy every day but recently it's just been- peaceful and good. Not too much stress. Just happiness for long periods of time.

Why is long periods of time good and abnormal? Well, recently it's just been a heaping pile of stress that gets worse. But I'm not throwing a pity party because I have The Lord and that's all you need!

Most days, I'm fine and then I'll be working at school where there's no lesson, just me. And then I start thinking and I find my self struggling to hold back the tears. Everything with Izzy is getting harder. Not easier.

If somebody you love dies, it's hard. Izzy (my niece) had an awful death and she was so cute and little and completely innocent. People tell you that you will recover but you don't. You learn to live with it and it gets easier. It always does.

I have God, amazing people, food on the table, a roof over my head, things I love, and the fact life gets better. What more could I ask for? Nothing!

But Izzy man. This is hard. I've come very far. The first three months I had panic attacks daily. Crappy right? It's hard! It really is. It's almost been a year. Is it better? It is. All the way? That's not possible.

So for some odd reason I've been at rest. I was happy. No crying, just happy. I don't know why. I really don't or else I would tell you. So I kinda unplugged a little. I read on Wattpad and watched YouTube. But that's all. I didn't want to disrupt the peace.

Is it gone? Almost. But I'll have another break soon. I know it.

God will make a way. Say it's like this forever. Say I don't get back to my old school, people are still mean, person who shall remain nameless is still this way, I'm still crying and sad all the time because of Izzy, maybe more crap happens. I'll be fine. Why? How? If life sucks how can you laugh all the time and be happy?!?! The Lord. Why else?

I'm not putting Izzy's story up simply because it's personal and this is Wattpad.

That's all for now!

Kay thanks, byeeeeeeee!!