"A moment passed as the Dark side, always present but always in a slumber, awakened inside of me and every question was answered. Where the abyss had been mere moments ago, steady ground now revealed itself, erasing every particle of the paralysing...
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I held Padmé in my arms when we went to bed at her request, but when I knew she had fallen asleep I slowly released my grip around her before falling asleep as well. I knew I would dream again and I didn't want to wake her.
I woke with her cries echoing my head. I got out of bed again, more carefully this time, and went out to the balcony to weep.
Memories from my mothers death rose yet again and this time unwillingly relieved my outbreak before Padmé after I had returned. "Why did she have to die? Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have!" She had stood quietly, watching me with compassion in her eyes and speaking with a gentle voice. "Sometimes there are things no one can fix, you're not all powerful, Ani."
I could still feel my reluctance towards her words, my desperate desire to learn how to stop people from dying burning inside of me. Back then I could never have imagined having these visions about Padmé and now time was slipping through my fingers. A whole day had gone by without any solutions presenting themselves, without me even knowing where to begin.
The thought of living without her seemed heavy enough to make my chest implode.
When my breath finally returned to somewhat normal I went back to bed, relieved that Padmé hadn't woken up. She wasn't worried, I didn't want her to be. I laid down beside her, watching her sleep, trying to match my breathing with hers. After what seemed like hours I finally drifted off again, only to awake a few minutes later. Time to go.
I ate breakfast in my chamber. When I was almost done I heard a light knock on the door and Obi-Wan entered.
"Good morning", he said. "Did you sleep well?"
Why was everyone suddenly asking me that? Or had I become paranoid? I shook my head lightly.
"Sure", I replied without looking up. "What do you want?"
"I'm more interested in what you want", he spoke with equal part amusement and caution. I looked up, puzzled, and he continued. "Apparently you are going to join the Council for our meeting today?"
I frowned. "Says who?"
"The Chancellor", Obi-Wan replied, watching my face carefully.
Right! Right. His proposition.
"That's true", I said.
Obi-Wan shrugged. "I hope you have good news."
"I think so", I replied and gave him a faint grin.
Perhaps today would be a step in the right direction. Maybe, just maybe, I could use Palpatine's opportunity to gain some rank and therefore some trust from the Council. I tried to believe that when I stepped into the mit of the Council chamber, facing Yoda and Windu.
But as soon as I saw the eyes of the Council's prime candidates my faith crumbled. I could have sworn they already seemed to know that I was going to say and furthermore had assumed a pessimistic view of it. I glanced at the other ten members and everyone's eyes, including those who were only present as holograms, seemed to burn through me.
