His Redemption

Chapter 8

ANWAR'S POV

Waking up with a scream of Nazreen's name on my lips only for me to look around frequently to see that I'm in my bedroom alone and my body is covered in sweat it's as if I took a dip into a pool in the middle of the night while I was asleep.

After trying to calm myself down. I move my eyes around my quarters, scanning it for any sign of danger in it, however I find nothing other than am alone in the bedroom. Breathing heavily and intake air into I felt like a person who had been drowning in the sea without any chance of survival but somehow I survived for some unknown reason. Now to think of it,
it is true as my dream seemed so real except I was able to breath again, when I saw my angel.

After gaining air back into my lungs, I Turn to the clock that is placed on the nightstand on my left side which stated the time to be 1:34 AM at night. Sighing heavily I move my right hand towards my forehead and wipe off the sweat that is there.

It has been a year now since the truth about Nazreen came to light in my mind has never stop torturing me even in my sleep but I can't deny that I deserve it and so much more for what I have done to her. I just wish I could turn back the time and let her know that, I'm sorry, hold her, give her the life that she deserved, the life that I promised I would give her. I wish I could wake up to her in my arms, kiss her, hug her, hold her hand but it's too late now I can't tell her anything as well as I can't do anything all that I have now are regrets and a heart full of longing and pain. I know that there will always be a dark pit of hollowness and void in my heart, that only one woman and not any woman but My woman, My Angel can fill it and not anyone else not even my so called wife. An ache develops in my heart that's so painful and succeeds to bring tears into my eyes. I place my left hand rubbing my heart with the name of the woman that I love in my lips "NAZREEN" trying to see if I can relieve myself of the hurt and ache am feeling but I know that I deserve the suffering and more and I will take it all if only it means getting my Nazzy back.

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" come in," I allow the one who has knocking on my office door to enter through my usual dark commanding voice, I don't look at the new comer as my eyes are still on the document that I'm holding on my hand. In my line of work what I have learned that never sign any document without reading and analyzing it for any loopholes because a small trivial mistake from the document can lead to gang wars and a single missed detail can bring chaos and loss of big deals and money.

"Well get on with it. Don't just stand there, as you can see I'm kind of busy". I speak to with anger and annoyance to the person that has just kept silent and is staring at me without saying why he has interrupted me.

Yet again the same person did not answer making me furious and wonder who is foolish enough to get on my bad side. I guess someone wants to be shot today. Looking up from my document only to be met with the Bilal's worried eyes. Now This bothered me a lot as for a man who never shows fear is suddenly looking worried this could only mean danger or something is seriously wrong. His face seems so pale and that's saying a lot coming as bilal's skin is tanned due to spending his days on the sun. So for him to suddenly look pail can only mean that what he is about to say is really awful.

"What's the matter why does it seem like you have seen a ghost?"I asked my long time friend and my Right hand man.

What he answered next left me shocked " I saw Nazreen today",He immediately answers me in a very quiet voice that I had to strain my ears to hear what he has said. When my mind has finally processed what he has spoken, I had to ask him again this time with the humor on my voice "Ummm... Bilal can you repeat it again. Somethings seems to be wrong with my ears as I've heard that you said you've seen Nazreen today."

He sighed And this time he answered loudly with confidence "YES!!!... you heard it right though I'm not completely sure it was her".

Thinking that Bilal is playing a cruel joke on me I immediately answer my voice full of authority and anger "Bilal just stop!!! For crying out loud, we all know she's dead and it's my fault, me and only me the man who was supposed to trust her, believe her, protect her, give her the world, love her, cherish her, be proud of her but all I did was destroy her, damage and eventually killed her with my unborn child." I whispered the last part as my eyes started to water and
unconsciously I moved my right hand to my heart where it is clenching and breaking thinking of the woman that gave up everything for me that I took her for granted.

My right hand begins to rub my heart thinking of the woman who owns it the angel that had covered my dark and gloomy life with love, light, laughter and happiness.

The woman that I would give and do anything to get her back to me.The woman that I would give up everything for me just to hold her one more time and tell her how sorry I am. Beg for her forgiveness. I wouldn't even care if My men saw it. Let alone my man in the whole world I don't care I would rather put my pride aside and look like a slave. As I am her slave she's my queen.

"Just go Bilal I'm tired I'm sure you're just hallucinating", told him with finality my voice.

Eventually I turned from looking at his face and I turned my back towards the large window that's placed on my office that looks onto a beautiful forest scenery that I'm sure if Nazreen was here. She would've loved it