Unnatural Instinct: Amazon

Epilogue.

I take a deep breath at the glorious birth of a new day. The view from the hills is spectacular. A vast green jungle is sprawled out before me. Amid the dense foliage I can see the glimmer of deep blue lakes. They weave through the wild like languorous snakes. The air smells so fresh. I take another deep breath and close my eyes, letting the warmth of the sun beat against my back.

Less and less I miss home. I still have my moments where I feel the tug of yearning, that knot of regret in my belly of a life long gone, but there will be a day in the not too distant future where it will vanish for good.

I can sense it coming.

Look at this virgin world! So untainted. So uncorrupted. So unlike Earth. What do I have to miss? Everything that I love is here.

It didn't take long to heal from my injuries. With our advanced technology I was back to my old self within three days. I say my old self, but I only mean my physical self. As for the rest of me: my heart, my mind—they will never go back to the way they once were.

It took some convincing for those on the mothership to let me go. Four days, to be precise. I kept my promise to Rebecca, and the moment I had fully healed I fought to be back at your side.

Where I belonged.

Whatever damage I'd already caused your people was done and there was nothing we could do to change it. What reason was there for my people to deny me my happiness? Besides, my research was over. After all that happened it could no longer continue. Not only that, but it was doubtful I would ever be allowed to continue researching out in the field again, on any planet. I don't like to think about the conversations those who viewed my surveillance data had had.

I bite my lip at the thought.

'Christopher?'

I turn to see you climbing the hill towards me. I can't help but smile. You're so beautiful. You're so strong. The sunlight gleams against your hair and skin. I can see milk beading your swollen nipples. Your belly is the size of beach ball but it seems to do nothing to slow you down, your powerful legs dominating the climb with ease.

Behind you I can see our new home. It's down below in the valley, almost entirely hidden within the jungle except for the smoke curling into the sky. Lunch is being cooked. I probably should be helping the other men but I feel like I need to be alone with my thoughts.

Taking my hand, you kiss me on the mouth. 'What are you doing? I was starting to get worried.'

I'm about to answer when our son suddenly gives a cry. You glance over your shoulder, then turn around so your back is to me and I can take him out of his sling. Nine months old and he's already so big!

'Hello, my lad,' I say as I lift him into my arms. 'What are you whinging about?' I smile as he grabs for my nose.

'He misses you,' you say, arching out your back with a groan.

I reach out to touch your belly. With a smile, you place your hand on top of mine. 'Not long now,' you say. 'The elders foretell she will be a girl and a great warrior of our tribe.'

'A girl.' I can hear the emotion in my voice. 'A daughter.'

I look down at my little boy and can't help but feel a pang of guilt. I've brought him into a world where he won't know his true potential. Even despite the changes that are happening, despite all my attempts at promoting sexual equality, things are happening slowly. It's going to take decades to make any significant headway.

I should be at least a little hopeful. It took Earth women millennia.

Still, changes in rights are easy; it's going to be significantly harder to change hearts and minds, not only of the women, but of the men themselves. Self doubt is the hardest thing to eradicate when it's been so deeply engrained in one's culture for generations. All I can do is protect my little boy and try and help him to become the greatest man he can be.

He giggles as he squeezes my nose between his fat fingers. I make popping sounds with my mouth, making him giggle harder. I shake my hair back before he can knot his sticky fingers through its lengths. Kissing him on the head, I turn back to you.

You're watching me closely, a little sadly. Perhaps you can see the worry in my face. Ever since I returned, you've stood by my side, listening to what I have to say, supporting me, advocating for me and all the men in our camp. But it's only been since the birth of our son that you've really stepped up, that you've really felt it inside yourself, that you've really understood.

It's only inevitable you would want the best for him.

As much as I'll support my son, I know that the greatest changes will not come through him, that it will not come through any man, not even me. As much as we will push for our rights, it'll be through women where the greatest changes will eventuate. And most particularly through our daughters.

It's a reality that the men of my own planet took much too long to realise.

'Christopher?' you say, and I suddenly realise you've been trying to tell me something.

I shake my head and lift my son higher in my arms. 'Sorry, what were you saying?'

'I was saying if you wanted to come back now. Lunch is almost ready and Shereen wants us to try out a new marinade he's created.'

I smile and take your hand. 'Let's go. I've had enough daydreaming.'

We kiss each other long enough that our son squirms between us. Pulling away, you take him from my arms and let him latch onto your breast.

Your arm around my shoulders, my arm around your waist, we turn back home.