oneshots ⤷‧₊˚ levi ackerman

⤷‧₊˚ fading [levi x depressed reader]

Small actions of self harm, please be aware. <3

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You were never the one to cry.

But, you felt like with the amount of pain you felt, you were alone.

You felt as if you had nothing to live for. No friends. No family. Although people did care for you but they were just higher ups.

'Another day to get through, I wonder what Captain Levi will sign us to' you wondered sighing, slowly dragging down the crusty covers off your torso of your rather.. uncomfortable bed. You dearly missed waking up in your warm home. You missed waking up to the smell of your mother cooking breakfast. But that was no more. It's gone. They're gone.

All gone.

Thinking about Captain Levi. Let's say you like him.

No.

You love him, but you would never think you would have a chance with him. I mean this is the military after all? There was no place for love. Nevertheless, your feelings never went for the admiring and handsome clean freak.

Your planted your feet onto the cold floorboards of your bedroom. Rubbing your eyes in tiredness, you glanced out of your window. 'Sunrise. It's probably about 6am' you estimated. You were very good at guessing the time, seen as you have been doing it for the past 2 years in the Scouts.

All of your thoughts had rushed back into your mind as you glanced at the light blue cloth around your wrist. You sighed hoping today would be your last day.

You had no reason to live. From the past 3 expeditions, you had lost 3 of your closest friends. They meant everything to you. But they just had to die right in front of you, when you could have saved them...

You forced yourself to stand, getting dressed into your uniform with those awful straps. You brushed your teeth and washed your face taking note of the darkening around your eyes.

'No one will get to see this anymore anyway'

A loud banging noise erupted. "Cadet (LN), hurry up and get the hell out of here!" shouted a familiar voice.

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming!" you shouted back, exiting the bathroom. You opened the door to reveal the face of Captain Levi.

You didn't smile. You couldn't. You thought you didn't deserve to be happy.

His eyebrows furrowed at how drained you look but brushed it off and softened at the sight of you. "Good, now come on, breakfast" he ordered in a quieter voice.

He knew about the friends you lost on the expeditions, but never spoken about it incase you didn't want to.

Yourself and Levi started to walk side by side to the mess hall. He noticed the fidgeting of your thumbs and your nervous breaths.

'She seems abit...off' he wondered. 'Well, she has been for the past few days, but she's normally bubbly and calling me a grumpy hag on a daily basis under her breath...'

You got to the mess hall and sat with your 'friends'.

"(YNNNNNNNNNNNNN) I SAVED THIS FOR YOUUUU" screamed Hange, placing a tray of food down infront of you.

"Er, thanks Hange but I ain't hungry" you muttered to her pushing your food away and giving it to Sasha, who looked delighted at the sight, already having 2 pieces of bread stuck inside her mouth.

"Eh?" Sasha questioned in disbelief.

"Eh?" You retorted.

After an awkward stare-off from Sasha, she also decided to join the screaming party. "(YN) WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED YOUR FOOD!"