Sprousehart one shots

I Wouldn't Have Made It If I Didn't Have You

(I just wanted to say I mean no hate to Cole's family or anyone. I don't know anything about this whole situation so I'm just going of what we know, as fans. This does contain a lot of swearing so, yah. I wanted to epilogues, this is short and all in Lili's POV. I wrote this one a while ago so it's a bit random. Thank you for reading! I hope you are all keeping well! I'm always here if you need to vent to talk about anything ❤️ Leave any requests in the comments! Thank you!-G❤️)
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Lili's POV
I had just gotten home from work. Cole was off today so I had gone and come home alone. I got an Uber so when I get in I pull of my mask and sigh.
L: "god it's really hard to breathe with that on." I mumble sighing. I kick my shoes off and walks into the bathroom to wash my hands. COVID was really rife and it was a little bit scary but thankfully we were all being safe at set. Recently Cole had been getting a lot of hate, death threats and he's being shamed about his weight. It took a toll on him, mentally. He acted okay at set and to the public but behind these closed doors the depression started creeping in, fighting to burst through him at any moment but he was okay, or as he would say 'fine' but I know he isn't. I know what this is like and it's tuff, really tuff. I go into the living room, no Cole, I try the kitchen, no Cole, the bedroom, no Cole, the bathroom, no Cole. I sigh and try the balcony. He was sitting on the floor, his phone in his hand. He was scrolling and watching something on repeat. He had headphones in so he probably didn't hear me. I sigh and sit across from him to get his attention. He looks up and takes his ear phones out.
C: "sorry I didn't know you were home, how was work?" He asks me softly. I sigh, he looked at me quickly before looking back at his phone. I sigh.
L: "it was okay, stressful but then the days when I do have to film a barchie scene are normally stressful so it was to be expected. What are you looking at?" I ask him frowning. He sighs.
C: "it's nothing." He says shacking his head. I nod unconvinced. I sigh.
L: "have you eaten today? The kitchen looks really clean, exactly like I left it this morning." I say confused. He sighs.
C: "uh- no, no I haven't had the time. It doesn't matter anyway, what scene were you filming today?" He asks me confused. I sigh.
L: "the barchie one, because it's like, some what new it's awkward and with KJ. It just feels so wrong. I'd rather it be you but hay-ho." I say shrugging. He nods and his eyes don't leave his phone. I sigh and stand up.
L: "come on, I'll make you some food! What do you fancy?" I ask him standing up. He sighs and looks up at me.
C: "oh nothing. I'm not hungry, I'll wait and eat at 5. I gotta make a couple of calls out here but then I'll be in." He says shooting me a smile. I nod and walk into the house. Weird. Cole never says no to food, he's never this dry or attached to his phone. Was it something I did? Was he looking at other girls? Was he cheating on me? No Lili! He loves you he's proudly just preoccupied. I make myself a snack before lying on the couch. I look out to see Cole on the phone to someone. It looked serious. I frown and look through my own phone. I see a bunch of new hate on Cole. I sigh. This is probably why. I shack my head and report some of the accounts on Twitter. My heart ached for him, I knew how he felt, but not to this extent. Within 30 minutes Cole comes back in. I sigh.
L: "are you okay?" I ask him. He just shrugs and grabs a bottle of water before coming over beside me and laying his head on my chest. I smile and kiss his head.
L: "what happened today? Why are you so quiet?" I ask him. He just shacks his head. I sigh.
L: "do you not want to tell me?" I ask him softly. He sighs.
C: "I do but not yet, I can't tell you yet." He mumbles burning his face in my neck. I sigh and rub his back.
L: "okay, well I'm always here if you need to talk." I whisper kissing his head. He nods and lets out a sigh. I run my hands through his hair and gently massage his head. I feel him gradually sink into me more before I realise he was fast asleep which made me smile. He was completely on top of me but I didn't care, I wasn't moving. My own thoughts were spinning. Did someone say or do something? Why can't he tell me? Is he depressed? Did someone die? Was he sick? My head was spinning. I sigh and lean my head against his, I wanted to know but he couldn't tell me so I have to figure it out myself. I grab my phone and look up hate accounts on my fake account. There was new stuff. I look at his families accounts and there was nothing so they didn't say anything. My phone started ringing. It was Dylan. I frown.
L: 'hey Dylan.' I say quietly.
D: 'hey Lili, are you with Cole? Is he okay?' He asks me worried. I sigh.
L: 'yah I'm with him, he's asleep. When I got in from work he was like, staring at his phone and just really weird and I know there's something wrong but he can't tell me yet?' I say confused. He sighs.
D: 'yah no, I just couldn't get through to him so I hoped he hadn't done anything. It's just a lot of him, for us at the minute but I'll let him tell you just please, keep an eye on him.' He says sadly. I sigh.
L: 'yah of course. Did something happen? Why? What's going on? Are you all okay? Are your parents good?' I ask him worried. He clears his throat.
D: 'we are all good, yah it's just, Cole can explain it better than I would and I'd rather you hear it from him but we're all good it's just all in the air right now.' He says. I sigh.
L: 'okay then well, I'll keep an eye on him because I know he's getting a lot thrown at him.' I say softly. He huffs.
D: 'well he got a sh*t ton more today.' He says chuckling sadly. I sigh.
L: 'okay, I gotta go report some accounts. I'll get him to call you when he's awake.' I say annoyed. He sighs.
D: 'okay. Thank you, bye.' He says before hanging up. I sigh and report all of Cole's hate accounts before shutting off my phone and looking down at him. He looks so peaceful and cute. I don't think he's slept this well in months, he needed it. I kiss his head.
L: "I love you so much. You don't deserve any of this, you've been through enough already. I'm so sorry." I whisper, my eyes filling with tears and my heart feeling heavy. I wipe a fallen tear before closing my own eyes and taking a nap myself. I feel Cole fidget a little in my arms before rolling over and cuddling into my arm. I smile sleepily and kiss the back of his head before drifting off into sleep myself. I wake up to Cole moving again, twisting back to having his face in my neck. I sigh and rub his back, trying to relax him, knowing he was clearly dreaming. He sighs and moves again before settling with his head on my chest, one hand holding mine, the others one, resting on my waist. Cole was cuddly but only this cuddly when he's sick, stressed, his mental health isn't good or he's going to have a breakdown and something in me was saying multiple of them were true. I knew he was stressed, I knew his mental health was bad, everyone's was including mine but he was really there to get me through that and I knew, if it went like this much longer, a breakdown would happen. It scared me. I've never seen Cole this bad. I've only seen his anxiety. He's always been the strong one on set, for everyone. He always greeted the day with a smile and he always ended it with a smile, no matter the occasion. That was just who he was, he knew he would be okay if the people he loved were okay. He stretches and sighs, he was awake. I kiss his head.
L: "you okay baby?" I whisper to him. He nods tiredly.
L: "I was speaking with your brother, he said something happened but he let you tell me when your ready." I say softly. He nods.
C: "was he okay?" He asks me, his voice still raspy and tired which made my heart flip in a good way.
L: "yah he seemed okay. He knows you aren't though, and so do I." I say pulling the curls out of his forehead but they quickly bounce back. He sighs and looks up at me. He green eyes looking for some sort of comfort.
C: "will I show you or explain it to you?" He asks me. I sigh.
L: "show me then explain." I say rubbing his back. He nods and sits up, grabbing his phone. He pulls up a video and passes me the phone. I recognised the woman but I couldn't put my finger on it. I frown. She sounded crazy, she really has it out for this person. I read the caption of the video. It leaves me in socked. I frown.
L: "your mum?" I ask him looking up from the phone. He nods. I sigh and watch the video.
L: "was she high? Why? What? But all her other posts are like, good about you both. Well some are having a dig at your dad and because you apparently stopped talking to her but that's just cruel!" I say disgusted. He nods.
C: "she still has her name as Sprouse even though their divorced, she's had a dig at dad for moving on, saying she got us into acting when it was actually my grandmother, bringing us into her toxic relationship with her parents. She's faking this grieving, loving mothers who's children were ripped away from her and took everything she owned but that's b*llsh*t! We don't have a thing of hers! I have one f*cking photo with her! One! Apart from that there's nothing! She has ruined our life! Literally! From the drugs, the force working, the abuse! And what? She thinks she can walk back into ours lives again and we'll welcome her with a hug? She blames dad! Dad wasn't the one who got high or forced us to work or took our money! He wasn't the one who whispered sh*t to us making us think we were failing. She made us think we were crazy! And so what? 20 something years later she just comes back with this 'love' and 'need' to be in our lives?! It's p*ssing me off and no matter how hard I try I can't get away from her. She's everywhere! And the fans have been great they really have in the comments but I just, we can't escape her. She will always be there. Lurking with some made-up story or some, fake love. She's so toxic. Like everything else to do with media in my life. But of course, life has to go on and I have to smile because guess what? I'm famous and as cool and great as that sounds it's absolutely sh*t and I hate it! I got 4 more death threats today because I 'cheated' on you! It's b*lllsh*t! How can a person cope? I can only take so much!" He says annoyed. He stands up and starts pacing across the room.
C: "like hate comments are one thing, every actor gets them but there has to be a stop line?! So what I made mistakes when I was 15 and forced to be in the media but I f*cking apologised! What more can I do?! This is why I left! This toxic treat! I'm seen with someone who is female and your not there and the headlines are 'Cole Sprouse cheating on girlfriend Lili Reinhart?' It's 2020! Why can't it be okay if men and woman being just friends?! Your seen with a man and it's not all over the place so why me?! Have I not been through enough already? What else can lift throw at me? A death? Is somebody going to try to hurt me? Or someone I love? Is my 'mother' going to come to ruin my life again? Try to shove some more drugs down my throat again? What? I am on my last f*cking leg and it's crumbling underneath me. I can't do this anymore. I have tried for months, believe me I have really tried but I can't anymore. The therapy doesn't even help! Worst thing is I can't even hug you if we aren't here because we have to 'break up' so we could actually get a little bit of privacy. It's f*cking b*llsh*t. Why can't I just have a normal life? For one day? Why can't life just go right? When will it be my turn to not have to deal with this or worry when it will next burst through to ruin my career or my relationships? I have dropped everything to be 'happy' in a toxic relationship and now I'm finally in a good one I can't even fucking enjoy unless I'm not in the media because people are just to toxic! I'm so f*cking done! This is why I left! This is why I hate my life sometimes! This toxic place. I can't do this anymore." He whispers the last bit, slipping down the wall and hiding his face in his hands. Each word made my heart break. He was silently suffering and I couldn't do anything to help him. I set his phone down and walk over beside him. I sit in front of him.
L: "baby." I whisper taking ahold of his hands. He sighs.
C: "what did I do? Where did I go wrong in life to get this? What did I do?" He asks me, looking me dead in the eyes. Tears were streaming down both our faces, mine more though, my heart breaking completely at the sight. I sigh and wrap my arms around him, wanting to take his pain away. Milo comes running over and lies beside Cole on the floor. Cole reaches down and strokes his head. Cole leans his head on my shoulder and let's out a sigh.
C: "I need a break." He mumbles. I sigh.
L: "you've needed a break for about 3 months now. It's long overdue." I whisper rubbing his back. He nods.
C: "I'm sorry." He whispers. I pull his head from my shoulder.
L: "don't you dare apologise!" I say seriously. He just looks down. I run my hand across his cheek and lift his head up.
L: "don't be sorry. There's millions of people in this world who should be sorry but not you. You've made some mistakes, everyone has but you've apologised many times for them but for this, you don't need to. You've done more good than bad." I say softly. I run my thumb across his cheek. He nods. I sigh.
L: "okay, let's go sit on the couch and you can explain this whole situation to me." I say standing up. He nods and scoops up Milo before walking to the couch. I sit beside him and he lays his head in my lap, Milo sitting protectively in his lap. I run my hands through his hair. He sighs.
C: "from the top?" He asks me. I nod.
L: "from the top." I say smiling sadly. He sighs and begins. I hear everything, absolutely everything. The highs and the lows. The abuse, the fears. I knew his childhood wasn't easy but I didn't know the details. My heart broke more if that was physically impossible. After about 15 minutes he was finished explaining the 24 years in his life that I wasn't apart of. He looks up at me. I sigh.
L: "how did you cope? I'm so sorry." I whisper tears streaming down my cheeks. He sighs and wipes my cheeks with his thumb.
C: "I don't know. I guess, I was really bad silently until I met you. I, you gave me something to live for, or someone to live for. A purpose I suppose and I knew for a long time that if I wasn't there or strong for you that you'd lose yourself or your battle to this and you have your whole career I front of you. Mines burning out when it comes to acting but your was and is just begging." He says shrugging. I sigh and tilt my head to the side.
L: "why did you not tell anyone?" I ask him softly. He sighs.
C: "my therapist knows and I didn't tell anyone else because everyone else has there own problems. I don't need to burden everyone with my worries. It's not that hard to see them either, I'm literally trending on Twitter. I deleted it but still" He says chuckling. I huff.
L: "you shouldn't have to do that." I say softly. He sighs.
C: "well, as fun as taking the p*ss out of my brother and our Twitter flirting was it has to come to an end. I have to keep some part of social media though and Twitter is the most toxic so there's no point. I can flirt with you when ever and I speak to Dylan everyday so I'll just tease him more." He says shrugging. I sigh and stroke his head before leaning down to kiss it. I sigh.
L: "your so strong and I'm so utterly proud of you." I say looking into his eyes. He smiles and looks away from me. I giggle.
L: "I know your blushing." I say giggling. He sigh and rolls his eyes.
C: "shut up." He mumbles chuckling. I giggle. He sighs and looks back at me.
C: "I wouldn't have made it if I didn't have you." He says smiling. I smile and kiss his nose causing him to chuckle. I knew he'd be okay eventually, as long as I was with him.