Cole's POV I was on set with Lili, Cami and KJ. We were in the lunch room when my phone rang. I excused myself and left the room to answer it as it was Chrissy. When I'm out of the room I answer it. C: "hey Chrissy!" I say happily but it drops when I hear a sniffle. Ch: "hey Cole, how are you?" She says slowly. I gulp. C: "I'm good but what's wrong? why are you crying?" I ask the nerves kicking in. She sighs. Ch: "I'm so sorry Cole, it's your dad." She says in almost a whisper. I gulp. C: "what's wrong with dad? Is he okay?" I ask feeling my heart beat out of my chest. I take a deep breath. Ch: "he was in a car wreck and he didn't make it. He's dead Cole." She sobs down the phone. I feel the tears stream down my face. C: "what? H- no he can't be!" I say my whole body going into shocked. She sobs. Ch: "I'm so sorry Cole but he is! I have to go and call Dylan and please come home! I'll phone you later okay?" She sobs. I swallow the tears back and breathe out. C: "yes I will. Okay." I say trying to keep the phone up to my ear. Ch: "okay I'll see you soon Cole, bye, I love you." She says crying. C: "I love you too bye." I say before hanging up. I wipe my cheeks and go back into the lunch room. When I go in my whole body is shacking and my face is emotion less. I ignored everyone's questions and grabbed my car keys before running out. I got into my car. The fear hitting me knowing I won't see him again. Lili's POV When Cole come back in after his phone call he had no emotion on his face. He just grabbed his car keys and run ignoring everyone's calls. I was really worried. KJ: "what's up with him? He was fine before that phone call?" He ask confused. Cami and I sigh, Ca: "I don't know, I don't think it's good." She says quietly. I gulp. L: "I'm going to find him, this definitely isn't good!" I say grabbing my phone and my a car keys as Cole and I had to be on set at different times today. L: "tell Rob that I'll phone him later but I have to go!" I say running out the door. When I get to the car park Cole's car isn't there. I speed home and I'm there within minutes. I run up to are apartment and I unlock it. I go to our bedroom as he wasn't in the rest of the house. When I walk in I see him putting clothes into a bag. I sigh L: "Cole? What's wrong?" I ask him. He doesn't even look at me. C: "I can't- I have to- I need to go- i-'' he stutterers tears rolling down his face. I run over to him and grab his face. L: "baby what can't you do? Where do you have to go?" I ask wiping a tear off his face. He gulps. C: "I have to go home, to Dylan. Shit Dylan!" He says starting to pack again. I sigh what the hell is going on? L: "Cole what is wrong? Why are you going back to California?" (I'm not sure where his parents life so I just used California) C: "it's my dad, he dead." He whispers whilst packing. I gulp. Sh*t. L: "Cole, god I'm so sorry baby." I say sadly, knowing why he's so panicky. He shrugs. L: "Cole." I say trying to get his attention but he was in his own world packing. L: "Cole!" I say loudly but it doesn't work. I sigh and grab the things out of his hand. L: "Cole look at me!" I say grabbing his face. He looks at me swallowing back tears. I sigh and bring him into a hug. He relaxes into the hug but doesn't cry anymore which I knew wasn't good. Obviously he was crying but I knew Cole and the worst was yet to come. It was like the thought and pain just haven't kicked in yet. Cole, Dylan and their dad were all really close so I knew when it hit Cole it would not be fun. I sighed and rubbed his back. L: "go grab a shower and put on some comfy clothes and I'll phone rob and book the flights?" I ask. He sighs and nods before walking into the bathroom. I walk out to the living room and phone Roberto. He picks up within seconds. R: "Lili were are you? And where is Cole? Your needed to film a bughead scene!" He said panicking but also angry. I sigh. L: "hello to you too. Well we are both at home but neither of us will be on set for, I don't know how long. We are going back to California for Cole as he has had a family loss. I'm going with him and as I said I don't have a clue when we'll be back." I say calmly. I hear him sigh. R: "we are behind filming and I need the both of you and because Cole was off sick last week he is definitely needed. All I can give you is a week, I'm sorry but we are really behind. So if your back to set next Friday?" I sigh and scoff. L: "yah right fine. Next Friday." I say hanging the phone up. I shack my head, a week his dad is dead and he gets a week! I text the group chat and tell them that we won't be on set. I book a flight for tonight and another one for next Wednesday for us to come home. I go in and start packing my bags. Half way through Cole comes back out still with no emotion on his face. I sigh, L: "it hasn't hit yet love has it?" He just shacks his head and carries on packing. L: "Rob can only give us a week off, I'm sorry. He said because you were sick last week we need to catch up on scenes. I have a flight booked for tonight and then one home next Wednesday so you have one day to just settle back here before going to set on Friday." I say quietly. He nods and we both finish packing in silence. When we were done Cole texted his family that we would be there in the early hours of the morning and we left. The whole time Cole was quiet just playing with my fingers. When we arrived at his parents house we went in and everyone was still awake. Dylan and Barbra had already flew out so we were last to get there. It was quiet after everyone exchanged hellos, just the noice of the movie in the back round, Chrissy's sobs and Dylan's sniffles. Cole was just staring at a picture of his dad and the boys on the wall. He has been like this all night, just staring and not moving. He hardly has cried too but he will when it hits him. Cole's POV It was weird being home without my dad. Honestly it didn't feel like home. Everyone but me was asleep in the living room, I just couldn't do it. I felt like I couldn't move and if I did it was like walking on jello. I had enough of sitting listening to Dylan snore so I got up and went outside. I sat on the porch swing just like I did when I was kid and watched the stars. I was just sitting in silence until someone sat beside me. It was Lili. L: "hey" she say quietly. C: "hi" i say not looking at her. She rubs my arm. I sigh. L: "why are you out here baby?" She asks laying her head on my shoulder. C: "I couldn't sleep and when I was younger when I couldn't I would always come down here and just look at the sky, somehow every time my dad always knew that I did so he came down and joined me. We sometimes talked and other times we sat it silence. It's weird being here, without him being here. I feel awful for saying this but it doesn't feel like home anymore." I say a single tear rolling down my face. She kisses my cheek and hugs my side. We both just sat in silence watching time go by as the sun slowly rises. By the time everyone was awake I was laying with my head on Lili's lap as she slowly plays with my hair. Dylan comes out with two cups of coffee for us. D: "morning, I know you two probably didn't sleep much last night so you'll need this." He says passing is the mugs. I sit up and grab it. Dylan sits down beside me. D: "how do you feel Cole?" He asks taking a sip of his coffee. I swallow. C: "honestly I don't know? It just hasn't kicked in yet but I wish it would. I miss him and I'm heartbroken but it just hasn't come yet." I say shrugging he nods. C: "are you okay though? You've been acting very over normal from yesterday? I know you and your over normal when you need to let the emotions out or just need to vent." I say, he sighs. D: "it hit me when Chris phoned me. When she told me I dropped to the floor sobbing and it come then but now I guess I feel a bit empty. I feel like there's a part of me missing. It makes total sense because there is a part of me missing but it just hurts. I want to like I don't know feel normal again but it just doesn't go away. I'm hungry but everything f*cking reminds me of him and it breaks me. Waking up, him making his famous breakfast, looking out our bedroom window and the two of sitting there when you couldn't sleep. Or coming home and dad watching a movie on the couch, the airport when he used to pick us up, when the dogs would wake us up by licking us and he would be standing there laughing. It just so different and I hate it! Like when I woke up, I had forgot why I was here and I expected to see him in the kitchen or out here with you but then it hit me. He not here and he won't be ever again." He says relaxing into the chair. I smile sadly and look at Lili. C: "and that my dear Lils was Dylan getting rid of his emotions. Now he will either go lock himself in the bathroom and cry or he'll drag Barbara to our old bedroom and cry to her." I say smiling sadly. She giggles sadly and Dylan gets up and hits me. D: "hey okay I will and you'll do the same when it hits you. Only with your luck you'll be on set or something." He says walking away. I nod. Lili sighs. L: "has he always been like that?" She asks quietly. C: "yes, I remember one time he and Barbara were in an argument. I was over in LA for the weekend but was staying at a hotel. He phones me and vented for an hour them come over to my hotel room and cried. He then left and come back 20 minutes later because he forgot his phone. He lets them out but only to people he trusts most of the time me and now sometimes Barb. Me I don't show my emotions unless it's a situation like this. One of the biggest difference between us actually." I say playing with her fingers. She brushes a curl out of my face in response. The rest of the day we spent watching movies and planning his funeral. The day of the funeral Lili's POV Today was probably one of the saddest days I have had in a very long time. When I woke up Cole wasn't beside me but I heard him vomiting in the bathroom. He had been sick multiple times from we got here. When he come out he flopped on the bed beside me. I sigh, L: "are you feeling okay baby? Is it that your still sick or this whole situation?" I ask gently stroking his cheek. C: "probably both." He whispers laying his head on my chest. I sigh. L: "should we not be getting ready?" I ask nervously as I know today will be a hard day. C: "yah we should but I don't want to." He says stretching. I nod. L: "I know baby but if you do maybe it will help, like a bit of closer." I say sweetly. He nods and gets up. We all get ready, this is what we were wearing:
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We were all standing at the door none of us wanting to go. We stand for 5 minutes then we actually leave. We were sitting in the car Cole, Dylan and I in the back. Cole grabbed my hand. C: "you look beautiful." He whispered kissing my head. I smile sadly, L: "and you look handsome." I whisper back. The rest of the car journey was quiet. Cole and Dylan were helping to carry their dad in so the rest of us went in and took a seat. When they come in everyone was already crying. As it stared Cole got more nervous as he was speaking. He was finally called up and he took at deep breath before starting. C: "hello everyone, thank you for coming today. As many of you know my dad was an amazing person. He was kind, caring and had a heart of gold. He was one of my best friends and still today is. My dad was always smiling even when you knew he could cry he always smiled. He went out of his way to make people laugh and if he was here today would be making some sarcastic joke. People always say that me and Dylan were just mini dads but really dad was still a child himself. He acted so tough around people but when we got home it was like he was an ice cube that had just melted, he was a really a softy at heart. My dad was a very special man, he went through a lot in his short life time but if you could ask him I know he wouldn't change it for the world. Honestly I don't think I can put into words my dad, nobody can but all I know is that he has brought up me and probably Dylan to be the best we can be. I will try my best to at least be half the man he was. So thank you dad, I love you and I'll see you soon." He say wiping fallen tears off his face and walking back to his seat. When he sits down I rub his thigh, L: "that was beautiful." I say, C: "I tried." He sighed shrugging. The rest of the time Cole spent it just staring at his fathers closed coffin. After the funeral we all went back home. The rest of the time we spent with Cole's family Cole spaced out all the time and I knew that the realisation was going to hit him soon. Friday- back to set Cole's POV Going back to set was so overwhelming. Everyone was apologising and it was sort of annoying me. I was sitting in my trailer waiting for Lili to finish filming. I was going through Twitter when I saw a post about my dad. It had finally hit me. I started uncontrollably sobbing and just couldn't stop. I was sitting sobbing when Lili come in. She ran over to me and hugged me as I cried. After 30 minutes of me crying I finally stopped. Lili sighs, L: "I guess it's hit you baby, and hard huh?" She asks sadly. C: "yah it finally has, I just can't believe he's gone. He answered my phone call that morning and he was supposed to answer it that night. He was supposed to be there for thanksgiving and Christmas. He was supposed to be here when his grand kids are born and when me and Dylan get married. He was supposed to be here not dead!" I sob into her shoulder. After another hour of crying we go home with out telling anyone. When we get home I go straight to bed as I was very tired. L: "how you feeling now?" She asks getting onto the bed beside me. I sigh and cuddle into her side. C: "better from getting all the tears out but crap at the same time." I say, she sighs. L: "it will get better though. It will take time. It will hurt and some days very thing will remind you of him and that might be good or bad, but if it is bad you have loads of people around you that love you." She says stoking her hands through my hair. I nod and hug her. We spend the rest of the night staying in bed and watching random movies. I knew it would hurt but I also knew that as long as I had Lili I could get through anything.
