Sprousehart one shots

Meant To Be

Requested by @brrcefrvrv hope you like it.
(This mentions anxiety, depression and self harm. This is after the pandemic and they are back shooting season 5. This is sadly fake as we all know)
Cole's POV
I was back at set for Riverdale. It was nice being back but at the same time I was sad. Lili and I had broke up before lockdown for so this will be my first time seeing her from then. I miss her so much but what can we do. Thankfully all our friends supported both of us so we didn't have to figure that out. Normally on set when I'm not filming I'm with Lili or all our friends but today I didn't want to as seeing Lili was just a little hard. She seemed happy, very happy.  She was laughing and I knew it was her genuine laugh. I'm really glad she's happy honestly but I'm just sad she isn't happy with me. I was sitting in my trailer reading a book when KJ walked in. He smiled and sat down. I put my book down.
C: "what's up?" I ask. He sighs.
KJ: "nothing I just wanted to keep you company. Everyone is out there happy and I knew your were alone." He says sighing. I smile.
C: "thanks but you can go. I don't want to hold you back. You haven't seen them all I'm ages. You and I can catch up later." I say shrugging. He smiles sadly.
KJ: "the whole 'you can go' 'I'm fine' stuff isn't going to work with me. You miss her and she probably does with you. You haven't gotten over her either though. Your not okay and that's it." He says sadly. I roll my eyes.
KJ: "talk to me." He says seriously. I sigh.
C: "okay so maybe I'm not okay. Maybe my anxiety is higher than the clouds and I'm trying to keep razors from myself. I can't go onto any social media as after I told the media we were done the videos are everywhere. I'm looking for somewhere else to live because someone leaked my address. The comments and death threats are getting too much. I'm trying to stay strong but I'm slowly drowning. I'm trying to stay happy and spend as much time as I can with Dylan but that just doesn't help. Being locked up in my house doesn't help either. To be truly honest seeing her so happy makes me feel weak too like why the hell can I not just get over her?" I say annoyed. He smiles sadly.
KJ: "just don't do anything stupid what ever you do. And maybe you'll never stop loving her and just learn to love someone new or you might just laugh at this next year when our back together again. You know maybe you'll find someone knew and think back in 20 years with your wife and kids about this time when you thought you'd marry Lili but maybe it just wasn't meant to be." He says shrugging. I nod.
C: "probably." I whisper. He laughs.
KJ: "how are you not crying?" He asks nervously. I laugh.
C: "I don't think I have anymore tears to cry." I say laughing. He shacks his head.
KJ: "you were alone too weren't you." He says sadly. I nod.
C: "yep." I say simply. He sighs. We catch up and he tells me about all his wonderful adventures during lock down. We talked until we went to get some food. When we were eating Machen come over.
Mach: "hey Cole how are you keeping?" She asks sitting beside me. I sigh.
C: "I'm okay." I say nodding. She sighs.
Mach: "I know your not but I understand, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to." She says rubbing my shoulder. I nod.
C: "already vented to KJ his morning so thank you." I say smiling. She nods. She catches up with KJ whilst I slowly eat in silence. Lili comes in with Cami laughing. We make eye contact for a second but I look away. She smiles sadly and gets her food. When passing Cami stops beside me. She puts her hand on my shoulder.
Ca: "how are you Cole?" She asks quietly. I smile.
C: "fine thanks." I say glancing at her. She nods and walks to a different table. I sigh and rub my face. I stand up and excuse myself from the table. I dump the rest of my food and walk back to my trailer. I take my anxiety pills and take deep breaths. I sit down on the couch and talk with my dad as he calms me down. When I hung up Mads come in.
Mads: "hey, how did you find lock down, I'm not going to ask how you are as your problem fed up of people asking that." She says sitting beside me. I smile.
C: "hey yah thank well it was an experience I'm not going to say an enjoyable one but definitely one. How are you?" I ask raising my eyebrows. She smiles.
Mads: "I'm good glad to be back with everyone and getting to see everyone again is good." She says shrugging. I laugh.
C: "god I can't imagine you and Vanessa meeting after it. How long did you cry for?" I asks laughing. She hits my arm.
Mads: "we only cried for an hour okay, I haven't seen her in ages." She says shacking her head. I smile and nod.
Mads: "Vans pregnancy hormones didn't help either." She says laughing. I roll my eyes.
C: "of course they did. How is she like the pregnancy thing?" I ask curiously. She sighs.
Mads: "she's okay, morning sickness isn't the nicest but when has being sick been enjoyable?" She says shrugging. I hum.
C: "that's good." I say smiling. We talk and catch up until she is called for filming.
Lili's POV
I was really happy to be back at set. I had missed everyone and having a schedule so much. I had caught up with everyone but the one person I wanted to know was okay was Cole. I know from our breakup he has had a lot of hate. I knew him publicly saying we weren't together was bad. He hadn't really stayed with everyone like he normally does and a lunch he walked out. When he left I excused myself from the table and walked over to KJ. I sat where Cole was sitting.
L: "hey guys." I say sitting down. He smiles.
KJ: "sup Lili?" He asks taking a drink. I sigh.
L: "how's Cole? I know he has probably opened up to you." I say sadly. He sighs.
KJ: "do you want the truth or not?" He asks curiously. I sigh.
L: "the truth." I say seriously. He takes a deep breath.
KJ: "well he is not good. He is depressed and his anxiety is sky high." He was about to carry on but I cut him off.
L: "wait his depression is back?" I ask nervously. He nods.
KJ: "sadly yes he has had to hide all his razors from himself and being with Dylan doesn't even make him happy." He says sadly. I shack my head,
L: "shit." I say feeling really worried. He sighs.
KJ: "he's back on the meds for his anxiety too I saw them in the trailer earlier. I honestly don't know what to do to help him. If Dylan can't I haven't got a hope." He says helplessly. I breathe out.
L: "I have to go see him." I say sadly. He sighs.
KJ: "gee sound a little happier. That man loves you so much he doesn't even know if he'll get over you." He says eye brows raised. I sigh.
L: "I'm happy about going honestly I am. I've missed him so much but I'm sad that I'm going to see him because of this." I say sighing. He nods. I sigh.
L: "I'll go later on, give him some time." I say getting up. He nods and I walk back over to my food. I sigh sitting down. Cami looks at me.
Ca: "what's wrong? You okay?" She asks nervously. I smile.
L: "yah I'm fine, everything's okay. Where's mads?" I ask curiously. She nods.
Ca: "she went to see Cole, wanted to catch up." She says shrugging. I nod. I finish my food and go to talk with Cole. I slowly walk to his trailer and hesitate before knocking. But I do when he shouts for me to come in I do. He looks at me confused and shocked.
C: "hi." He says simply. I smile.
L: "hey, how are you?" I ask gently. He smiles.
C: "I'm good you?" He asks smiling. I sigh.
L: "I'm good but please don't lie to me. I know your not okay, I can see it." I say sadly. He sighs.
C: "KJ told you didn't he?" He asks annoyed. I nod, he sighs.
L: "are you on antidepressants or just anxiety pills?" I ask curiously. He sighs.
C: "anxiety, they couldn't give me my antidepressants because I didn't call my therapist." He says annoyed. I sigh.
L: "did you do it? KJ said you had to hide your razors." I ask nervously. He sighs and looks at his hands. He swallows.
C: "why do you even want to know Lili? As much as I miss you and wish I had you to help me get out of this crappy whole we aren't together. Are we even friends?" He says wiping a fallen tear. I sigh.
L: "because Cole, although we are not together and maybe were not supposed to be friends but I still love and care about you and I know you do to. You will always have me to help even if we're not together." I say honestly. He sighs.
C: "sorry." He whispers. I smile sadly.
L: "show me your wrists." I say quietly. He shacks his head.
C: "no." He whispers.
L: "please." I whisper sadly. He sniffs and slowly turns over his wrists. I walk closer to him and take his wrists in my hand. I rub my thumb over the scars and heeling cuts. He was just looking a the floor. I knew he was ashamed. I sighed and hugged him. I wasn't surprised when he hugged back. I took in his sent. The mixture of his cologne and coffee. The smell I have missed so very much. I sigh.
L: "you don't have to be ashamed of it. You can get help. I'll help you, Dylan will, everyone else here and also that's what your therapist is for." I whisper rubbing his back. He nods.
C: "it's so stupid. It was just a different feeling. A stress and anxiety reliever I suppose." He whispers into my shoulder. I nod. I smile sadly.
L: "just don't do it anymore. Please." I whisper sadly. He nods.
C: "I won't." He whispers. I feel him smile on my shoulder which makes me smile. We stay in a hug for a while longer just enjoying each other's presence.   When we break the hug I smile.
L: "I gotta go and I get ready to film but please I don't care what time it is call me instead of cutting okay?" I ask he smiles.
C: "okay and thank you." He says smiling. I smile.
L: "no problem." I say walking out. When I'm outside I smile widely. I missed his presence so much I was sad to break the hug.  I was in my thoughts when I bumped into someone.
L: "sorry!" I say honestly. He laughs.
Cas: "what's got you so happy?" He asks smiling. I sigh still smiling.
L: "Casey sorry. Just being back at work I suppose. Seeing everyone and being back with my friends." I say shrugging. He nods unconvinced.
Cas: "I understand that but being back can't make you that happy. God what ever it is tell Cole about it. He needs some happiness." He says sadly. I sigh.
L: "yah I was with him I know he isn't good." I say sadly. He smiles.
Cas: "that's why you were so happy because you were with Cole." He says happily. I roll my eyes,
L: "I'm just happy okay." I say annoyed. He sighs.
Cas: "what ever you say." He says walking off. I laugh and walk on. When I got to the makeup trailer KJ looked at me.
KJ: "how did it go?" He asks nervously. I nod.
L: "good, well okay. He just needs some help." I say smiling sadly. He sighs and nods. I talk with the woman doing my makeup for a while until Cole comes in.
C: "hey KJ are you free?" He asks curiously. KJ smiles.
KJ: "yah what's up?" He asks nervously. Cole smiles.
C: "do you want to go for coffee?" He asks eye brows raised. KJ sighs in relief.
KJ: "yes I need a coffee." He says getting up. Cole laughs. They walk out chatting. I smile to myself. (MW= makeup woman)
MW: "you still love him don't you." She asks fixing my foundation. I sigh.
L: "yah. I do." I say sadly. She smiles.
MW: "why did you even break up?" She asks curiously. I sigh.
L: "he was anxious and irritable and I was tired and mad. One argument ended it all. It was my fault so I can't blame him. I should have been there for him but I wasn't and it ended in him not being okay at all and me feeling guilty." I say shrugging. She smiles sadly.
MW: "well you still love him, he doesn't just love you he needs you so what stopping you? If it was one argue. Do you even remember what is was about?" She asks shrugging. I sigh.
L: "it was over the apartment. He was with Dylan all day as I was here and he was really anxious. The house was a mess and I blamed him. He tried to explain everything but I was stressed and tired so snapped. Said some things I maybe shouldn't have. He said some things he shouldn't have. It ended up with me telling him we were done and storming out. We apologised over text and he asked my permission before he publicly told it but apart from that there was no contact." I say sadly. She shacks her head.
MW: "ahh young love. Just sort it out. You'll be able to. He loves and needs you to much to not bring you back." She says wisely. I nod.
L: "yah I'll see." I say shrugging. The rest of the day I think about what she said. What is holding us back? I was preparing for a bughead scene. I was nervous but excited as we have to make out. Before our breakup we only had to shoot once because we always had so much chemistry so I'm excited to see if it's still there. I was in my trailer till I was called to film. When I walk to the set I saw Cole talking to one of the crew members. I smile and stand in my place. We started filming.
L: "i love you Juggy." I say smiling as Betty. Cole chuckles.
C: "I love you too so much." He says as jughead. I smile.
L: "I love you more." I say stepping closer to him. He smiles.
C: "don't even start that." He says grabbing my neck gently. I giggle.
L: "and why is that?" I question slightly forgetting I'm acting. He sighs.
C: "because you'll never win." He says before kissing me. I smile into the kiss and enjoy it. I pull back.
L: "I will never win will I?" I ask remembering I was Betty. He shacks his head smiling.
C: "never" he whispers smiling. I giggle and peck his lips.
C: "what will I do with out you in college?" He asks between kisses. I laugh.
L: "you'll be fine. Just don't go kissing any hotter girls." I say seriously. He chuckles.
C: no one can be hotter than you." He says kissing me ruffly. I giggle in the kiss and we fall back into the bed.
Roberto: "cut!" He yells as the cameras stop. I pull back and sigh. Cole shoots me a small smile and goes to walk off. I smile back but grab his arm lightly. He frowns.
C: "what's up?" He asks confused. I sigh.
L: "I need to talk to you." I say nervously. He nods.
C: "okay." He says even more confused. I laugh.
L: "not here. My trailer in 15 minutes." I say seriously. He nods.
C: "right. Should I be nervous? Your not going to kill me?" He asks jokingly. I roll my eyes.
L: "you never know maybe I have a bunch of ninjas in my trailer ready to attack." I laugh eye brows raised. He chuckles.
C: "oh so should I bring my serpents or something?" He questions sarcastically. I shack my head.
L: "sure!" I laugh. He smiles and walks off. I sigh and walk to my trailer. I contemplate whether I'm doing the right thing or not but decide I am. I wait for him to come and after 15 minutes exactly he comes in.
C: "so what's up?" He asks nervously. I sigh.
L: "okay this will either make it or break it but I was talking with a very wise woman today about us. About why and how we broke up. How I miss being with you and still love you. How I miss waking up to see you beside me with that one curl that always falls over your face. Or how you always made me a coffee whilst I was getting ready. How you always told me you loved me before you would leave. How you never let us go to sleep on an argument. Or never yelled even when I did. I could go on about reasons why I miss you but we would both be dead if I did so I'm going to stop. Really all I'm trying to say is that I miss and love you so much and really really hope we can put that stupid argument about a stupid untidy apartment behind us and get back together." I say honestly but nervously too. He sighs.
C: "but Lils your so much happier with out me. As much as it kills me to say you just so much happier with out me and I love seeing you happy even if it means without me." He says honestly. I sigh.
L: "yes I am happier but it's because I found myself. When I was locked in my house I found myself. I also found out to feel fully complete I need you. I need your kisses and how you can tell me how I'm feeling with just one look. Your hugs, how you can instantly destress me with one simple hug. How you know my Starbucks order and what food I like and don't like when I'm on my period. I need you to feel complete. Not anyone or thing else just you. Even with your sarcastic humour and your depression. I just need you. Everyone in this family knows it. My family knows it. You make me complete." I say honestly. He smiles.
C: "how many times did you say need and complete in that sentence?" He asks laughing. I roll my eyes.
L: "clearly too many times?" I say curiously. He nods.
C: "yah just a couple." He laughs nodding.
L: "I suppose I sound like a crazy ex now do I?" I ask nervously. He chuckles.
C: "how about we change that to crazy girlfriend?" He asks walking towards me. I smile widely.
L: "now I do like the sound of that." I say wrapping my arms around his neck. He smiles.
C: "you do?" He asks placing his hands on my hips. I giggle.
L: "mhm." I say before kissing him. He smiles and kisses back. After our mini make out session he hugs me. I sigh.
C: "congratulations by the way." He says quietly. I giggle confused.
L: "on what?" I ask confused. He laughs.
C: "on everything. Chemical Hearts, your book, the whole black lives matter. But mostly for Chemical hearts and coming out as bi." He says kissing my neck. I frown.
L: "how did you know about that?" I ask curiously. He chuckles.
C: "well you still follow Dylan on Instagram so he told me and nearly everything about you I get tagged in so also that. Oh and on the topic of Instagram, can I now re-follow you?" He asks chuckling lightly. I shack my head.
L: "yes you dork." I says hugging him tighter. He laughs.
C: "in all seriousness you were amazing in the movie, they way you acted out Grace was amazing." He says sweetly. I smile.
L: "thank you." I say kissing his shoulder.
L: "by the way you made me cry with that post about our breakup." I say rubbing his back. He laughs.
C: "yah sorry about that. Needed the fans to shut up. Death threats don't help the depression. And Cami told you didn't she." He says shrugging. I giggle.
L: "she did." He sighs.
C: "classic Cami." He chuckles. I sigh.
L: "what are we going to do about the media?" I ask nervously. He sighs.
C: "I delete my most recent post, we follow each other on socials again. We do our classic twitter flirting. Let the fans guess. Let's have some fun with it." He says questionably. I hum.
L: "yah that's good. It will be fun to see them suspect and team up on if we are together or not." I laugh. He sighs.
C: "yah." He says kissing my shoulder. I sigh.
L: "what do we tell the cast?" I ask curiously. He chuckles.
C: "let them figure it out themselves." He says quietly. I nod.
C: "I love you so much and I'm sorry." He says quietly. I smile.
L: "I love you too and I'm also sorry but I'm going to blame my period for half,of my attitude and stress for the rest of that night. And I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most." I say sadly. He sighs.
C: "it's okay. Your here now so that's all that matters." He says honestly. I nod and pull out of the hug. I kiss him giggling, he smiles. When we pull away he pulls his phone out. I notice his wallpaper was still the same. It was the same as before our breakup:
Lock screen

Home screen

I smile.
L: "you didn't change your wallpaper?" I say happily. He laughs.
C: "no I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was waiting till after today to do it. For me changing the wallpaper is final. You change the wallpaper as delete the photos it's done and there's no turning back." He says deleting the breakup post. I smile.
L: "you are so cute." I say leaning my head on his shoulder. He kisses my head.
C: "you too." He says smiling. After he deleted the photo he followed me and kissed my cheek. I smile.
L: "I love you." I say looking into his eyes. He smiles.
C: "I love you too." He say smiling. I cuddle into to his chest and he wraps his arms around me. I sigh.
L: "I've missed you so much you don't even know." I say quietly. He laughs.
C: "I think I do." He says running his hands throw my hair. I smile and look up at him.
L: "really?" I ask shocked. He nods.
C: "yah." He whispers kissing me. I kiss back and love every second of it. I hear an aww from behind me. We both look back to see Cami and Mads.
Ca: "it really didn't take you two long to get back together did it?" She asks happily. I smile.
L: "nope." I say smiling. Mads giggles.
Mads: "you two are so cute. I'll have to go tell KJ he'll be so happy." She says running out. I smile and shack my head. We were just meant to be.