Kings College

Chapter 9

I blinked. Once, twice, thrice in an attempt to fully grasp what he just said to me.

"Pardon?"

"My father is going to die. Well, not now, and I suppose I can't say for certain, but he's going to die."

"Philip, I..." I didn't know what to say. How is one to react to this news? "I'm sorry."

He laughed bitterly again, messing with the cuffs of his shirt. Philip's anxiety was on full high but he was trying to mask it with humor, detachment, anything. I expected him to make a joke but he simply said,"You needn't be sorry."

"Do you know when? Or how? Is there any means to prevent it?" I could feel myself tighten a little. The Hamilton's have never been a family I cared for particularly, but that didn't mean I wished a plague upon their house. Mr Hamilton deserved to live as any man might.

Philip was quiet. And scared. Philip was very scared and I could feel my heart contorting itself as if that would relieve him of pain. "Yes, there is."

My excitement grew alongside my confusion. "Then surely you must take that avenue!"

His gaze went to the floor. I could sense the embarrassment flirting with him like I imagined with Jefferson. The yellow sprite messing with his hair as the blue of sadness pulled on his collar. Little sprites of emotion to tug you each way until there's nothing to give.

"That is where I struggle, Theodosia. The burden falls on me. I am to fix it all and I do not know if I can."

My gaze hardened, and I squeezed his hand. "Philip, what is going on?"

He broke for a moment. I saw the truth in his eyes, the fear of the situation and the fear of rejection high on his brow. There wasn't much I could do aside remind him that I am here as a friend, not to judge.

"Back -" his voice cracked as though he was a child again. He cleared his throat and tried again, averting his gaze. "Back when America was fighting for our country, my father befriended a man named John Laurens. Surely you've heard of him? Your father knew him as well,"

I vaguely recognized the name but I knew he was no longer with us. I nodded, using my eyes to urge him to continue speaking.

"Well, Laurens had a family member who worked inside the courts of England. That person apparently was very useful to the system. When he tried to break free, George III was furious. In an act of defiance, that family member hung himself. The King demanded that this man's family, Laurens, pay for his crimes. Then Laurens died right after the war ended. And that's where my father comes in. Letters were found by the King that revealed their friendship had a different air about it."

It took me a moment but I understood. Alexander and Laurens were lovers. In a time where that is not acceptable.

"And he's blackmailing you?" I questioned. I still don't entirely understand.

"Yes, well, he's blackmailing my father to provide him with his eldest son to marry his daughter. As a replacement for Laurens family member. It's far too complicated. When I turn 20, I'm to be shipped England. If my father does not comply, or I do not go, his homosexuality will be revealed." He began to choke up, a fresh set of tears on the verge of falling. "Theodosia, he'll be killed. People do not accept that. My father will be slaughtered by the people. My mother and sisters shamed out of society, my brothers laughable. I've no choice but to marry a woman double my age and reside in a miserable monarchy."

"That is hardly your responsibility to bear, Philip."

He laughed but it left a sour taste in my mouth. "One would think."