Kings College

Chapter 10

A/N : so I don't know about the whole like big letter - acceptance, small letter - rejection for college thing starting, but I thought it'd help this story so I'm using it. This is Fanfiction, not Dickens, some inaccuracies are okay.

"Theodosia... I don't understand."

"Philip, I need to you think about this. The King says if we can prove you had no knowledge of the affair you can be free. If you are already married you cannot marry another. Not to mention, a betrothal in England is practically legally binding."

Philip took slow blinks and soaked the information in. I wished to shake his shoulders to make him understand quicker but that is not how his brain works, and that's okay. So I wait.

After a while, he sighs, "I cannot ask you to do that."

That halfway offended me. "Why's that?"

"That's promising to a lifetime of someone you don't even like! Theodosia, you might be kind at heart but this simply isn't a good idea. You will benefit nothing from this. Our marriage is doomed to a marriage of anger and spite."

"I wish to help -"

"I love that about you but I cannot allow it. You cannot resign yourself to an unhappy eternity because of kindness! Just because you don't loathe me in this moment doesn't mean you won't grow to resent me." Philip ran a hand through his curls. He was baffled by my suggestion, and more angered by the hopelessness of it all.

I chewed on my bottom lip. He says I won't gain anything. That might be true but that does not mean I cannot maneuver something. However nothing comes to mind. I feel stranded.

Anger starts to bubble over slightly. I trying to help him! Any sensible man would jump at the chance of an outing, consequences be damned. Yet, Philip is far from a sensible man but he is also a kind man. What he is saying is accurate, but I'm still wounded. I push myself away from him in this small office.

"Fine. I cannot stand this another moment. Papa needs me home soon," I rush towards the door.

"Theodosia, wait, I don't mean to offend-"

I take a deep breath. "I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with the situation. Let me sleep on it. Perhaps tomorrow we can discuss other avenues."

He looked like he was going to protest, but he didn't. "Meet me at the cemetery. 4 pm."

I nod. That was a good enough meeting place. I swiftly took the chance to leave the house, my skirts behind me. I need to think. I need to think about myself, about Philip, the situation, the offer I had proposed. Proposed might be an ironic choice of words.

It doesn't take long to approach my home. I take a shaky breath to mask my thoughts. Papa would just about lose his mind should he know what I'd suggested just minutes ago.

Jane greets me at the door with a somewhat sombre expression. "Hello mistress. Your father has gone to sleep already. He head ached horribly."

She motions for my coat, which I slide for my shoulders for her.

"Jane, are you quite alright? You seem to have gone pale," I worried for her. Familial issues? Perhaps she received some bad news.

"Yes, mistress, well," she glances over her shoulder towards the kitchen. "Well, you see, you've received a letter."

My brows came together in a confused look. What was wrong with a letter? "Is it containing bad news?"

"It's from the college. The letter was small."

My heart sank to my toes. While it wasn't always the case, a letter from the college that wasn't bursting from the seams wasn't a good sign. Jane looked towards the floor, nervous to tell me anything that might upset me. I took a swallow.