Can You Keep It A Secret?

Chapter 32: It'll Get Easier

~Marinette~
"You really don't want to talk to him?" Chloe asks as we eat lunch. Well they're eating. I'm not in the mood for food. I wipe my tears and shake my head. "Want to come over to my dad's hotel after school? We can have a little girls day." "I can't. I have a check up today." "We can go with you." "No it's fine. I kind of need to be alone today." I say and start getting up. "Marinette you have to eat." "I ate in the morning." "No you didn't." Alya says. Shoot! I forgot I'm staying with her now. "I'll eat something. See you later." I walk away from the table and bump into someone.

~Adrien~
As I walk over to the table Nino and Luka are sitting at I bump into someone. "I'm sorry." I say and look down and my eyes meet hers. "No it was my fault." She says awkwardly and scratches the back of her neck. "Um I need to go." She mumbles and walks away. My heart breaks as I watch her walk away. I turn around and continue to walk over to the guys.

"You okay dude?" Nino asks as I sit down. I nod my head. "Marinette has a check up today. Should I go?" "No way Adrikins. She wants to be alone." Chloe says as her and Alya sit down at our table. "But I've never missed one of her check ups. Since I found out I've always been by her side." "She needs time Adrien. You both do." Luka says. I sigh and nod. Nothing is going to stop me from going.

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~Marinette~
"Hey Marinette. No Adrien today?" Tikki asks as she walks into the room with Plagg. I shake my head. I was kind of hoping he'd show up. Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe he wants to give me space. What am I thinking? He probably doesn't even care anymore. It would make sense since I keep hurting him.

"Trouble in paradise?" Tikki hits Plagg's arm. "Sorry." "No it's fine. We just broke up." "No why? You guys were so cute." "I don't really want to talk about it. It's all still fresh." They both nod.

"Any more symptoms?" "I've just been feeling weak lately." "Well that's because of the chemo. A lot of patients feel that way when they go through the treatment." Plagg says and I nod. "Is that all?" "Yeah."

"Have you given any more thought about the transplant?" Tikki asks. "I don't think I'm going to get it." "Why not?" "I just don't really have much to look forward to." "Of course you do Marinette-" Plagg starts. I shake my head. "I really only have my friends left. My parents disowned me, I ran out on the Agrestes, and I hurt the one person I love and care for the most- the one person who cared for me the most. He probably doesn't even care anymore." I say and wipe my tears.

"I don't think that's true Marinette. No one can stop caring that fast. And there's always something to live for. You can't just give up." "It's not just that though. I thought about the transplant and you guys said that there is a chance the cancer can return. If it returns then I'm going to have to go through all of this pain again. I'm tired of it now and I don't want to have to go through all of this twice." "But there is a chance that the cancer won't return. There's a chance that everything will work out and you could get the rest of your life to live."

"I don't know. I might not even get the lungs and if I do there's other people who need them more than me." "You really think someone needs lungs more than a 17 year old who barely started her life?" Plagg asks sarcastically."What if the other people have kids? Or what if they are kids?" "You're a kid too. You deserve these lungs as much as anyone else." I shrug. "I'll take more time to think about it."

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~Adrien~
Dang it I'm late! I rush into the usual room and find it empty. "Adrien? What are you doing here?" Plagg asks. "I missed it?" I say out of breath. "Yup. She left about 5 minutes ago." "So I barely missed it?" He nods. "Damn it! How is she doing? Is everything okay with her?" "I'm sorry kid. I'm not allowed to share that with you unless I have her permission. Doctor-patient confidentiality."

"But she was fine with me knowing before." "That was because she allowed you to be in the room with her. I'd have to ask her if she's okay with you knowing." "So I really can't even know if she's okay?" "She's okay but that's all you can know." I sigh and nod. "Thank you."

"Adrien! You came!" Tikki says as she walks over. "I'm late." "Better late than never. She was starting to think you didn't care." She really thinks I don't care? How can she ever think that? Of course I care still. I'll always care for her. "Tikki!" She covers her mouth. "Oops. Don't tell her I told you!" "She really said that?" "I'm not supposed to say anything." "It's fine. I won't tell her that you told me. We're not even talking at the moment." "I'm so sorry Adrien. I hope everything works out for you two." "We're rooting for you guys." Plagg says. I give them a weak smile "Yeah me too."

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~Marinette~
"How did the check up go?" Alya asks as I walk into the house. "It was fine." "Is everything okay?" I nod and walk into the room. "Marinette are you okay?" She asks as she follows me. I throw myself on the bed and start crying. "I miss him so much Alya." She sits beside me and places my head in her lap and she starts stroking my hair. I know she's trying to comfort me but it's just reminding me of him more. It reminds me of that time after I got chemo I was so exhausted and we both went to the bed and cuddled. He started stroking my hair and it made me feel so peaceful that I fell alseep in seconds.

"I know you miss him Marinette. It'll get easier." "I don't think it ever will. I can't live without him. It's just been a day that we haven't talked and I already can't stand it. I'm so used to him always being by my side. It feels so weird and I hate this feeling." I sob. "I know it probably feels weird girl but you guys haven't always been inseparable. You have lived without him always by your side before." "But lately he's always been there. He's always stood by me no matter what. I've wrecked everything Alya." "No you didn't. It'll work out." I shake my head.

"Don't say no Marinette. Just give it some time." "How am I going I give it some more time if I can't even last a day without him?" "Remember when we were at the hotel? You went days without him then." "That was different." "How so?" "I didn't have a relationship with him then. I didn't stay at his house. I wasn't thinking about moving in permanently with him and his family. I didn't kiss him every time I wanted to. I didn't fall asleep in his arms." "I know it hurts Marinette but you're tough. You're a fighter and you'll fight through this pain." She says as she wipes my tears.