Ours

therapy

a/n: disclaimer i have no idea how therapy works cuz i havent had any experience w it (even tho i want to) but i tried to make it looke legit shshhssh

alsoo

tw // ptsd
cw // blood and death

hope you like it!

-jyka💕

×+×+×+×

Ben took a deep breath as he looked up at the building of Seattle Grace Hospital.

He'd been taking a break from surgery for the past week, and surprisingly, he hasn't had the urge to operate. Everytime he thought about it, he wanted to think of something else, because it always reminded him of war.

He glanced beside him, where Miranda stood, staring at the building as well. She'd agreed to come with him for his first therapy session with Dr. Wyatt. Owen recommended her as she helped him recover too.

Miranda looked at Ben and met his eyes. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it in comfort. "You ready?"

She had been with him this past week, and although he'd been sleeping in their guest room at his insistence, she'd been there to soothe him, and help him through his breakdowns. He hasn't told her anything concrete, but Ben has told her bits and pieces. Like how loud noises remind him of wartime, and how his nightmares were often about failing to save people he worked with.

Throughout the week, Miranda had kept the house quiet. The TV was always in a low volume, and she was always careful not to drop anything that causes a loud noise. She'd really helped him.

Ben nodded as he went back to the present. "I am. I'm just… a little nervous. What if it doesn't go my way?"

She chuckled lowly. "Of course it won't. It's supposed to go the way it's supposed to go, not yours. You don't control this, and that's okay. Don't resist it. Just trust the process, and be good, Benjamin, and you'll be just fine."

"Be good?" He gave her an odd look.

"Trust the process and be good."

He smiled at her. "Thank you." He pecked her lips, and when they pulled away, she grinned softly at him.

They turned to the hospital, and started to walk inside.

×+×+×+×

Ben would like to say he braved the session. He would like to tell everyone he met that he did great, and he aced his evaluation.

But he would be lying.

It went horrible.

Dr. Wyatt introduced herself and asked a couple of innocent questions about the form he'd filled beforehand.

Then she asked about the nightmares.

Ben had lashed out then, and he barely felt Miranda's touch on his shoulder.

"I don't know you. You don't know me!" He shouted, his eyes blazing as he glared at the calm doctor. "How dare you?"

"Ben… just calm down. I just want you to tell me how often they happen." Dr. Wyatt looked at him with a soft smile, but all he saw was blood and war and death all over.

He shook his head, and closed his eyes. "No, no. I… I can't do this."

Tears threatened to escape from his lids, and he couldn't handle them, so he stood and walked out of the room.

"Y-you know I'm not go-- not going to make it, Benjie. S-stop it. Stop saving me." Ollie's voice rang in his ears, and Ben's vision blurred. He almost tripped and he fell against the wall. "Just, I… tell my wife… tell my wife I love her."