2/3

only a mans touch

Tw: homophobic

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I'm currently sitting down with Ariel Rivins...my mom. I think I'm still in shock, because I'm not happy like I thought I would be. I lost that emotion a long time ago though...

Earlier flashback

I was still back against the door thinking about what this lady officer just told me.

"Lake.."

I looked towards my m-mom and she waved her hand towards a room. I guess she wanted me to follow her so I did. I have big trust issues...I mean the 4 people I trusted most in this world either left or turned on me. Knowing I was in a police station filled with officers and camera's I walked behind her...slowly.

short flashback over

She sat me down and looked right into my eyes, I stared right back. Her eyes started getting watery and she looked away. I didn't know what emotion to feel right now I mean am I going to live with her? The woman who birthed me, the women who loved and cared for me, the women who made me laugh, made me smile, made me feel happy, but also the women who broke me...

My hand was on the table and she tried to reach for it. I jerked my hand backwards almost falling of the chair in the process

"P-please don't t-touch me.."

She looked sad and confused..oh trust me mother it's not your fault

"N-no I didn't m-mean it like that I have Haphephobia..."

She looked confused and obviously wondered how I developed that in just a few years when I used to be super clingy. To the point I didn't let them leave the house without me. I barely slept in my own bed...yeah when I was normal

I ignored her look and asked "so...why'd you leave"

That's probably not the first thing you should ask your mother, but it's the first and only thing I thought of.

"W-wha... that is not what happened!"

I mean I could believe my prostitute and deceased dad...or the woman I haven't heard from in 7 years.

"Okay..." I said slowly "then explain what happened"

"I-... okay your father and I were married a long time. I never loved him honestly. He was a wonderful friend but a lover? No.. the reason behind that though! Is because I'm gay a full blown lesbian. I never came out because I was scared of losing my family. They were all extreme hoophobes and against gay marriage, so I put myself last and married my bestfriend. Your father...he knew about this and supported me, but I guess he actually fell in love with me along the way..and thought I did too. I found a woman...I did not cheat on him! I emotinly cheated yes developed feelings for the women, but physically kissing,sex no I would never. I didn't know he fell in love with me until after I went to him excited to tell him I finally decided to come out to my parents and marry this woman. He didn't take it so well he ended up getting drunk calling my parents and telling them before i had the chance. Most of my family sent me texts saying they were disappointed and blocked me. I confronted him and he slapped me. After that I said my goodbyes and I loved you to you and I left...I'm sorry I didn't bring you with me love. I missed you so much. I thought you would be happy having a father figure. D-did he put his hands on you...

I believed her. I believed every last thing she said.

"He did a lot more than that.." I scoffed shaking my head

She gasped and reached for my hand again. I jerked back, but not quick enough this time I fingertips brushed. I got prepared for a panic attack...scratching..panting...design of hand sanitiser, but it never came

I looked at my hand more than my mom repeatedly. Is it...because she's a female? Is it just male touches that freak me out. I shakily and slowly reached my hand towards hers. She stayed completely still and just watched me.

I grabbed her hand and she waited a few seconds before intertwining her fingers. She smiled at me, but I was too busy looking at our hands. So it's just male touch...