2/3

I knew it

Tw: panic attack, ptsd

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Time skip////

It’s been one depressing ass week since I came to Colorado with my mom. It’s like since I moved away from the place that caused it...the nightmares and flashbacks happen more often? I don’t know, I just know it sucks and I haven't slept in 3 days. When I accidentally doze off I wake up screaming or sweating.

This caught the attention of my mom and her guilty expression just deepened each and every time. Basically My mom applied me to some highschool called “wizards”, and I’m going...today.

I wore my gray joggers again and put on the black hoodie. I walked downstairs ate the breakfast Adalene kindly made and got in the car with my mom. One I hate school, two it’s the middle of the school year and I’m new, three the crowded halls...the guys. I would be surprised if I didn’t get touched today and had a panic attack in front of the whole school.

(I’m aware I do a lot of time skips)

Time skip////

I’m glad this school has a lot of people. I blended in with everyone else...it’ll be like that until I walk into my first classroom. People are already whispering about me...I almost got touched 3 times and jumped 5 feet in the air to avoid it. Which caught attention...and laughter. 

I made my way to the office and asked the lady at the desk for my schedule.

“And what’s your name?”

“Lake Rivins”

“Oh okay here you go”

I walked out the office and the hallways were empty...well I guess the bell rang. I walked to my class and entered with my head to the floor.

“Hi, who are you and why are you late?”

“M-My name it Lake...and I’m new”

“Oh yeah right the new kid, lake what?”

“Lake rivins”

“Okay lake why don’t you go take the seat behind karl klas, Kk raise your hand please”

I froze...Kk...as in the Kk my ex best friend that moved away 2 years ago? If he’s here doesn’t that mean Rehan is here to..

I lifted my head up toward the kid with his hand raised...definitely him. Black hair, dark blue eyes, tall slim, sharp jawline, that pretty bad boy vibe. I couldn’t read his expression, maybe he really did forget about me. I walked over to him but kept my head down.

Someone stuck their foot out which I kindly stepped over, but not without ‘accidentally’ kicking it. The class laughed and I’m sure the teacher already hates me. I sat behind him and kept my eyes on the desk

Class went by pretty quickly but that’s probably because I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the desk. I gathered my shit and made my way out of the class. Ain’t no way in hell I’m talking to him

But me trying to get away from him made me forget about dodging touches...A male bumped into me and I froze. My feet were glued to the ground just like that time at home…

Is he gonna touch me…

I started breathing heavily faintly hearing someone call my name, but a hand on my shoulder made me run and try to find the bathroom. I felt like I was running for hours before I finally found a door that said boys bathroom.

My vision was blurry, my skin was itching, my breathing was heavy, my body was numb. Flashbacks of him touching me were invading my head, flashbacks of him on top of me, flashbacks of me screaming crying for him to stop, flashbacks of me watching my dad walk up those stairs until he disappeared, 

I started scratching at my skin feeling the blood drip down my arms. 

I need a shower

I need a shower

I need a shower 

I couldn’t breathe….I felt so dizzy. I heard 2 pairs of feet walk in the bathroom, but I was too out of it to notice. Someone grabbed my waist from behind

“NO NO P-PLEASE DON’T TOUCH ME!!! I’M ONLY 15”

I repeated the same sentence I did to him years ago....

The person didn’t let go. I remember someone sitting me in between their legs then pushing my head to their chest telling me to copy their breathing pattern. I passed out after that...my skin was dirty