2/3

If I could I would

I woke up in my bed at home...with a very worried looking woman standing at the age of my bed like a creepy person. Oh wait she's my mom, yeah i'll never get used to that.

"Omg honey your awake"

I grimaced and held my aching head.

"Oh I'm sorry...theres tylenol next to your bed" she started whispering

I grabbed the tylenol and swallowed it

"S-so what happened"

she look like she was hesitant to tell me...

"Tell me"

"O-okay umm some males names Rehan and karl dropped you off....they said you had a panic attack and fell asleep after"

I stopped breathing. Not only did the two people I hate and love at the same time saw me have a panic attack,they t-touched me?

"D-d-did they t-touch me?"

She didn't answer me and that was enough for me to hop out of bed and run to the bathroom hopping into the shower fully dressed. And enough for me to sink against the shower wall crying my eyes out.

They left me...they have no right to be there for me. They even knew about the abuse...they didn't know the extent but the word abuse alone should be enough. I get accidentally losing contact with someone over the years, but your bestfriend who you would supposedly risk your life for who got beaten everyday by his sex whore of a dad?

You would think they would try a little harder, but it is what it is. And to think if I never came down here they never would have contacted me again. They can shove their help at the far end of their ass. I don't need help from anyone the only help i need is from the devil when I kill myself.

Time skip//////

I stayed home from school the rest of the week. My mom told the school I had the flu... that's what it felt like. I would rather not face them...I would rather get homeschooled. My mom would never let thet happen though.

Today is the day I go back...my 6 day break felt like it was only an hour. I was in my thoughts most of the time sulking to myself. Anyone from a mile away could see I was depressed. Sympathy...ugh the worst thing someone could get. If anything it makes it worse...it makes us feel problematic...useless...babied.

I walked through the front doors hood up head down dodging everones shoulders and flailing arms. No one noticed my little breakdown on monday eyes and attention on eachother.

"Lake"

I kept walking...that voice it's from Rehan.

"Lake stop walking please"

Oh great Karl's here to. when aren't they together

'Fuck you both' I muttered under my breath

I didn't realize how close they were behind me until I slightly heard a 'if we could we would'. I cringed knowing that I will most likely never do that again. Way to traumatizing...

I guess they gave up on following me because when I reached my class and sat down in the seat the teacher assignmed to me. Which is sadly behind karl he wasn't behind me. The teacher came in class and started teaching.

I put my head on my desk and tried to fall asleep. I looked up when the door opened and seen a very red and swollen lipped karl walking towards his desk. We made eye contact before I broke it putting my head back down. I heard him sigh and sit down.