chapter 12 rambling

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this is not a drill, the next chapters pov character is snowfox!!!! just going into this thing, i want to put a disclaimer that in no way is eventually redeeming her meant to excuse the things she attempted to do, even if she never actually did them. like genocide is a really fucked up, horrific thing to try and do to someone and she absolutely should and does face consequences for it.  i'm a big believer in "explanations, not excuses" , in writing and in life, it's something i really try to hold myself to. in other words, trauma or whatever may be the cause for you doing something horrible like that, and acknowledging that can be helpful to understand why someone did something, but that doesn't just admonish you of responsibility and it's never my goal to excuse my characters being assholes or make it seem like their actions are okay.

with that aside, would you mind if i psychoanalyzed snowfox? wonderful, here we go: so her whole thing is that she didn't have any parents growing up, she was basically just raised by the ice court and as a result she kinda sees the entire icewing society as a parental figure—she was raised by the court, and worshipped it. but she never really learned as she grew up to see it through a clearer, more mature lens, she still glorified and trusts it against how much hurt it's caused her and how deeply it's ruined her life. her whole thing subconsciously going on here is that she can't process her growing rage toward her own tribe, and so she puts it all on arctic and foeslayer and their descendants, and by association, the entire nightwing tribe, because they're easy scapegoats and she can hate them with little consequences in her day to day life, whereas accepting her resentment for her own tribe would mean literally turning over her entire life and reevaluating the moral code she's had drilled into her from birth. right now she has this growing guilt for the things she done, and also this confusion as to why killing foeslayer didn't immediately fix all her problems, and why violence isn't really working as a solution for her, and at the same time sees herself as a traitor to her tribe for even doubting herself at all. essentially she's just cognitive dissonance: the dragon, and she's terrible but absolutely fascinating to write.

another interesting parallel is how much she's like clearsight, they're sort of accidentally very similar. they both had a lot of personal choices either under intense scrutiny, or had their choices taken away altogether—snowfox literally was forced to get married, and threatened with exile if she couldn't have a child bc she was the only one who might be able to pass on animus dna. they both also have repressed rage and shitty bosses, clearsight just has a moral compass and better coping mechanisms lol. if snowfox hadn't caused her family so much suffering, like under other circumstances, after her redemption arc i honestly feel like they could have maybe not a friendship, but definitely a mutual respect/understanding for each other.

anyway!!  here's a little scene i really liked, from the first time she saw snowflake again

anyway!!  here's a little scene i really liked, from the first time she saw snowflake again

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