Moonbeam: A Timeline series companion

polar - character rambling

So, Polar becomes a LOT more major of a character as this story goes on, idk if that's obvious, but I've been thinking about his story a lot, and I need to gush about it, so here you go I guess.

**content warning for discussion of neglect, and very bad family dynamics**

The thing about Polar is that he's just... SUCH a tragedy. He would have been a very normal, well-adjusted child if he'd just been raised by loving parents. He was a product of this really broken, fucked up society that treated children like weapons or investments, just like his mother was, because apparently, this whole series is just about the cycle of abuse. I don't know why I'm even surprised at this point. 

Even though Snowfox and Flurry are married, they are not in a relationship in any sense and never were. Like, they have appointments once a week to discuss their political standing, Snowfox probably has to talk to his secretary to schedule it in. They live on opposite sides of the palace, and neither of them wanted to take care of their kid when it came down to it, so they'd just send him back and forth between the two of them until Snowfox guilt-tripped her husband into looking after their kid for a few hours, before Flurry came up with an excuse to pawn him off on Snowfox again, and the cycle continued. It was so obvious to him, even as a toddler, that he wasn't truly wanted by either of his parents.  

Flurry felt guilty about that though, so his love language became showering Polar with money whenever his son was sad, or he felt like a bad father, and using that to excuse his lack of care for his kid. ("Sorry son, couldn't make it to your school concert, here's a cheque for 2000 dollars <3") But that all quickly lost its meaning, and all Polar ever really wanted was for his dad to actually spend time with him.

Meanwhile Snowfox didn't give him any attention at all, because she never had parents--she's one of those people who went through something incredibly traumatic, and decided her kid had to endure it as well, because "she turned out fine". So her love was expressed by ignoring her child the way she was ignored. He was simultaneously so spoiled and so neglected, which was not a good combination.

He spent his whole life being seen as a disappointment for something he couldn't control--not hatching as a girl or as an animus, so he was essentially useless to the monarchy, and being blamed for literally just being a child with needs. 

Because kids don't really know how to differentiate between good and bad attention, as long as someone pays attention to them, he quickly learned the only way to get his parents to pay attention to him was to lash out at others and sabotage his spot in the rankings on purpose, or throw massive tantrums.  I doubt he's ever been told "I love you" his whole life, he's never had friends. Deep down, he's lonely, and furious, and doesn't understand why being terrible to everyone isn't the best technique for making friends, because being terrible to your loved ones is the only kind of love he's ever known his whole life.

He's so desperate for his mother's love, he would do anything, change himself a thousand times over, just to get her to notice him. That's why he hates Permafrost so much--because Snowfox pays more attention to some random girl who showed up two weeks ago than her own son.  He went off to war, literally willing to die, or experience horrific violence, for a chance of his mother finally telling him she loved him or she was proud of him. He's almost, in a weird way, grateful for Darkstalker hurting him so badly, because the only time his mother ever showed up for him was when he was at the edge of death, and glorifies his own pain and suffering as a necessary sacrifice to earn the slightest kernel of affection. He's been forced to become manipulative, to coax out the slightest amount of love from his parents, he's been made into a monster by his upbringing--which doesn't excuse his actions, but at the same time, good god. Like he wasn't born evil the way a lot of villains are, he was shaped into a monster, in a very easily predictable way, under the guise of "tough love" or "a proper IceWing upbringing." 

He deludes himself into pretending his mother loves him, like he has this whole story in his head he'll tell anyone who will listen, about how his mother would do anything for him, and how they have such a lovely, close relationship, but in reality it's nothing like that. He's so desperate for love, he tells himself this story about his family, even though he knows it's not true, because it's the only way he can cope.

Anyway. Uh. I have some really cool things planned for him, so I'm super excited!