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Forget

I do not know how far I have to endure all this, I do not know how far I have to continue fighting to be free and to be happy, I do not know how far. I just want to forget my pain, drop so much misery that inside me, forget the feeling of guilt for all the things that have made me feel. Forget the abandonment of love, forget all that past that has marked me, forget that I have nailed in my heart everything that made me believe that I am. I don't know how to describe something that doesn't have the words to do it, I don't know how to live quietly and get out of this, I don't know how. I struggle so hard to get what I love but sometimes I just want to close my eyes for a moment, take a deep breath and imagine that I'll be fine anyway. I have become so used to the pain that it is difficult for me to accept some love, I have become used to the darkness that I think is where I come from. Forgetting is what I need to do but neither my mind nor my heart let that happen, for the moment I am working on that but for the rest I feel that I will not be able to do it. That is a dilemma that we live many times today.