silence - nct, norenmin

⍣ 10 ⍣

disclaimer

pretty hard chapter ahead

mentions of violence and traumatic events

please read with caution and skip if you're uncomfortable

jaemin had lived things.

traumatic things.

he had lived them once, and he hoped to never live them again.

actually, he wished that no one else live the same things as him.

unfortunately, as if jaemin's past hadn't been dark enough, his present was slowly getting tinted with new problems... and today was a traumatic day for our teenager.

jaemin had walked out of the nurse's office with a light heart.

for the first time since his accident, he had managed to talk at school.

he had managed to overpass his own fear.

he had managed to say no to his body and let his mouth take the relay.

sure, he hadn't been the most comfortable, but he had managed to exchange a few words with sunmi, the nurse.

at first, dr. park was the one including sunmi into the conversation, and jaemin only answered her questions, but in the end, jaemin managed to ask some questions himself, without dr. park's help.

sunmi and him had even talked together while dr. park was excluded of the conversation!

well, when he walked out of the nurse's office, he felt better. not healed, but better.

the school's corridors still scared him, and he didn't want to talk.

school was still the scary place it used to be.

the only thing this little exercise had changed is that now, jaemin is comfortable with sunmi around.

who knows? he may be able to talk to her again, even without dr. park around.

so, still taking a few precautions, jaemin had walked around the school, ready to go back to class. however, this trip to his classroom didn't happen as he had expected it...

on his way, he made the mistake to look at his shoes while walking across a crowdy place – a habit he had developed to contain his fear of the crowds – and this caused him to bump into a rather tall and strong boy.

long story short, the boy had asked him – well, more like yelled at him – to apologize for bumping into him, and jaemin being jaemin, he couldn't pronounce a word, even if he knew his life was at stake.

but it wasn't his faut.

everything was because of his traumas.

it was their fault if no sound could leave his mouth when he was on school grounds on in a crowd. it was their fault. not his.

jaemin had never asked for this to happen.

jaemin had never asked to be mute.

jaemin had never asked for his life to be miserable.

he didn't...

jaemin used to be a bubbly kid. everybody loved him.

he was friendly and social. basically, the guy everybody loved – or at least, couldn't seem to hate.

he was kind, funny, loud, bubbly, pretty... everything you wanted.

he was perfect.

and all this perfection seemed to bother some people. particularly roman.

he was a boy of his class, a not so sympathetic one, but jaemin was everybody's friends, so he was as much jaemin's friend as any other.

but in roman's mind, they weren't and would never be friends.

they were in their last year of elementary school when it happened.

roman had had enough of jaemin's behaviour, and of the cult every student was giving jaemin.

jealousy. that's what it was.

but he didn't care. the only thing he wanted was to stop jaemin's reign.

and so, he had made sure jaemin would stop.

sure, he didn't expect it to have such repercussions – they were young after all – but he was willing to affect jaemin.

roman had hit jaemin.

but he hadn't done that lightly.

roman had beaten jaemin with all his force, yelling profanities at him.

he had done that when jaemin was willing to help him increasing his grades. he had done that when jaemin was coming to help.

he had used the opportunity that no one was around to hit jaemin, to yell at him, and to traumatize him for life.

and the worst part of this is that he couldn't be blamed.

after having beaten jaemin to the verge of death, he was the one to run to the teachers' room, and to tear up, claiming that he had found jaemin after he was beaten by some naughty kid.

it's thanks to roman if jaemin was alive today.

without him, who would have found jaemin's limp body on time?

so roman wasn't as much of a heartless bastard as he seemed to be.

jokes on him.

he was the worst.

the meanest bitch that mother nature made appear.

the worst vermin this world could handle.

the fact he had 'saved' jaemin didn't excuse anything.

in fact, it was event worse.

by saving jaemin, he had offered him a life full of traumas and fears.

he could have left him dead, and cut his sufferings.

but no. ending his life would mean facility. and roman wanted jaemin to suffer.

jaemin was brought to the hospital immediately.

roman had completely wrecked his body.

broken arm, broken shin, broken sternum, broken ribs, perforated lung, hematomas all over the body, and a psychologic wound that didn't seem curable.

they had no choice but to give jaemin a sternotomy.

they cut his flesh open and operated his insides outside of his body.

his lung got repaired, his sternum got fixed, his bones got set in place again, and finally, his chest was sewed back, with everything inside.

it was a miracle, but jaemin's heart continued beating.

he survived this bloody operation.

oh god... how much he wished he could have died...

now, he had a hard life, needing help for lots of things.

now, he had a hard life, not being able to speak most of the time.

now, he had a hard life, being scared of everything around him.

now, he had a hard life.

and as much as he would like to erase this part of his life from his mind, the reddish scar that went from the bottom of his neck to the top of his belly reminded it to him every single time he looked at his reflexion in the mirror...