When You Lose Everything

When You Explain

"I can't believe this! Oh my gosh! What did I do to deserve this?!" I was pacing around my room while Jess tried to calm me down.

"Okay I understand that I've did a lot in my past but I'm trying to leave it as just that. The past." I stopped pacing and faced him.

"Do you think that maybe I deserve to be in jail or dead?" I asked Jess seriously.

"Look Ro, you may have did a bunch of bad things but I have a feeling that they were all for good reasons." He said looking me in my eyes.

"Jess, I killed six people." I told him and his eyes widened.

"I'm pretty sure for a good reason." He said and I sighed with a small smile on my face.

"I can't believe that I just told you the darkest secret of my life and you still think I had a good reason. What if I did it because I felt good about it? What if I killed those people because of my happiness?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"You're not like that. I believe that you had a good reason. It's the only explanation." My eyes watered and I hugged him.

Something in me clicked. I love him. And I'm about to tell him why I killed those people. I trust him.

I pulled back from the hug and looked him in the eyes.

"Finley, Georgia, Tiffany, Blaze, Raven, and Kristie. I killed those six people who used to work for my dad. When I was fifteen, I used to disappear for a few days at a time. That's when I met Chris and my mom used to worry. She would call me every five seconds to try and see where I was. But I would just avoid the question and hang up. My dad explained to her that I was just like him so there was no need to worry. I was a daddy's girl. I admit it. I was always wherever my dad was. Every person he knew, I knew them too. Including Ash Dickens. The most menacing man I've ever met."

"Is that who called you?" Jess asked and I nodded.

"He would tell me how great my dad did business with him. I always wondered what kind of 'business' he was talking about but I never asked. Then one day he told me that I was old enough to start business just like my dad. He would tell me all about the bad things a person did and he would anger me enough so that I could kill them without regret. But the problem Jess? I regret it everyday. Every time I wake up, I think about how they can't even wake up again. Innocent people, I killed them. For no reason." I didn't even realize that I was crying until Jess wiped a tear away.

"I understand. But Ro, something doesn't sound right." He said with a confused look on his face.

"What is it?" I asked confused as well.

"I don't know. But I'm going to find out. I don't think you killed those people. Do you even remember how you killed them?" I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again after realizing that I didn't. I shook my head and he nodded.

"That's what isn't right." Just as he said that Sam bust in my room like some crazy person and I just stared at him.

"Rose! We leave tomorrow. There was a change of plans. Flight leaves at five. We have to leave at three." He said and I nodded. He left and I looked at Jess.

"You need to pack." I said and he smiled.

"Already did. Well Jake did." He said and I raised an eyebrow.

"I wanted to spend time with you." He smiled and I blushed.

"Ro, I don't mean to get sappy and all, but I'm falling for you." I don't know why but I expected some musical to break out where a lot of kids just come singing and Jess would be the lead singer. I laughed at the thought and Jess looked kind of hurt. I then realized what he must of thought.

"I'm not laughing at you." I said quickly and the hurt in his eyes were replaced with hope.

"I just pictured this thing in my head. It was....you were....and kids. I can't explain it but it was funny."I stumbled and he chuckled.

"I will never understand what's goes on up there." He said and I smiled.

"I'm falling for you too Jess." He smiled and kissed me and I loved every minute of it.

I already fell for you Jess.