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Untitled Part 37

11:17am 3/23/2021

Today was a good day, i was walking without any support. I was going up and down the stairs and getting better, then I asked my brother is he was doing his schoolwork. My mom asked me to check for her and I asked, he lied and said he did. I asked to see proof and when he denied and i tried grabbing the computer but he got all defensive. I took the computer and logged on and saw he did nothing, all he did was to do the attendance sheet for each class, he couldnt even do that. So I told him I'd be taking his game since he wasnt doing his work, he just said "okay time for you to leave" and tried pulling my arm once I told him he can't just do that to everyone, since he always gets his way and no punishments are ever given. He pushed me and i was being nice about it and turning it off by the rules instead of unplugging but after the push i just unplugged and walked to the kitchen where my mother was, he stormed in and started grabbing onto the ps4. Just tugging and tugging, I said no and he got into my face. Started completely yelling at me, I took it as disrespect since he does that to my mom and his friends I wasnt tolerant to what he says and I always tell him not to do that shit to me because im not his friends who he gets to push around. I pushed his face away and he took it as a punch and shoved me really hard into the oven where I hit the back of my head and my broken leg went inverted (how it got broken in the first place was by invertion), I wasnt able to stand or bare weight on it even after all these months of hard work, I was finally able to walk again. Without any assistance, now its gone. All of it, I can bend it but i cant put any weight on it and its like how I felt at the beginning of this. Even after hurting me, he kept telling me to kill myself and nobody loved me. He said I was a whore and I deserve all the pain I have right now, It was extremely hard for me to tell my friend group about my suicidal thoughts but they told my brother and he uses it back at me. I just want whats best for him, even when my mom cant punish him I hope to teach him the rights and wrongs but right now, I dont feel like being alive. I was finally comfortable being myself and havent felt this way in weeks but what my brother did is unacceptable and hurts me so much.

Maybe I will kill myself, i hope he chokes on his words. I hope he realizes at my funeral his words has consequences.