JJBA Headcanons

𝖊𝖝

☆
𝙰𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚡 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.
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Johnathan:
"Is this-" he let out a gasp. "That was no way to treat such a fine lady, you should be ashamed of yourself!" He'd subconsciously turn his nose up at him and lead you away

Speedwagon:
"Doll, could you wait inside the bakery for me, please?" When you walk away, he ended up robbing him and didn't get caught! Tbh he was jealous because you had someone richer than he is and he just did you like that. The audacity.

Dio Brando:
"Ah, well. It seems...that darling y/n is much happier with I, Dio. Scum like you shouldn't have had the right to even touch a pretty thing like her." Like Johnathan, he also made your ex's life a living hell. He found out where he lived, what school he was attending and what not and fucked him over, not for his gain, but for his amusement.

Joseph:
"Ha! You dated someone like him?! I can't believe you upgraded! Guess I gave some flavor to your standards!" He was insulting him constantly, making sure that he always complimenting himself.

Caesar:
"What a terrible human being! Carina, I can assure you that my heart belongs to you and you only." Y'all ended up making out in front of your ex and he left uncomfortably.

Kars:
"What scum, for a species to be in a monogamous relationship yet sleep with another... Darling... we'll use him for our sacrificial rituals to Quetzalcoatl" Kars ended up kidnapping him and sacrificing him to his god. Don't ask me to pronounce the name of his god, please

Jotaro pt. 3+
"Move out of the way, dumbass. She doesn't want to talk to you." He grabbed your hand and pushed right past him, leaving him a little frightened.

Polnareff:
He did the >:0 face. "I'm so glad you started dating me, babe. Who knew you could have dated someone as ugly as him! Look at his hair! He doesn't know style!" Like Joseph, he insulted him enough to lower his self esteem.

DIO:
"Darling? Why is this... worthless thing talking to you? He does know you belong to me, correct? He's but a mere mortal with no stand, how disappointing.." your ex walked away with his self esteem crushed and questioned whether or not there are things in this world that just aren't human.

Josuke:
He'd nervously laugh before walking away with you. "Jeez! What a douche! Don't worry, babe! I'm not an asshole" he'd dorkishly grin at you before kissing you on the cheek.

Okuyasu:
He didn't waist time, he picked you up over his shoulder and just ran away laughing, you laughed too. "I love you, baby! Who knew someone could cheat on the goddess of beauty!"

Kira:
"You? Ha! You didn't deserve her gorgeous hands intertwined with your parasitic ones..." he grabbed your hand and laid a big ole kiss on your knuckles. Haha before he said what he said, he shook hands with him. Killer queen has already touched his hand. And he blew up when y'all left.

Giorno:
He got petty. "Signore, you're speaking to someone of great power. Two... Two people of magnificent power." He later sent his underlings after your ex. He was never found.

Mista:
"Aw- C'mon mama. Really? Someone like him? I mean- I guess if that's what you pref- wait a damn minute, are you dating me because I'm ugly?" You laughed at him and kissed his cheek. Your ex narrowed his eyes and flat out said that Mista was ugly. He fuckin' shot him.

Doppio/Diavolo:
"Come on, rana, we don't have the time to bother with him." Later, your ex was coming out of a bar and ya good boy Diavolo came from the shadows. He had to do this job himself and not depend on Doppio this time. "Ohhh. To have the audacity to hurt such a special person of il Mafia Italiana. Inchino per il tuo don... Inutile feccia delle strade." He ended up murdering the man with his own hands.

Jolyne:
She flipped him off. But then when he made a comment about you being a lesbian, she punched him. "Mind your business, asshole."

Hermès:
"¡Oye, hijo de puta! ¡Ve a comer mierda!" She was angry. No ones gonna treat her girlfriend like the way he did.

Pucci:
"It is sinful to sleep with another woman. Your life shall spent in misery, for when you die, you shall perish in the lands of fire and be vulnerable to the harsh wrath of Lucifer himself." He said amen. That man has now became a child of god, but since pucci- the fucking representation of the devil- has deemed him to go to hell; it shall happen.

Johnny:
He didn't say anything, he wrapped his arm around you and lead you away. Behind your back, He shot him using tusk.

Gyro:
"Eat shit. Y'know who you're talking to, no? Vaffanculo!" He purposely used his spin on front of you to make him like spring away and you giggled before scolding him.

Valentine:
He looked at him with a face of disgust and looked away. "Get him out of my face, I don't need to waste my time on scum like him. Who let him even get this close to me? The president?!" He was purposely showing off to fuck with him. Your ex later cried because he fucked up his first time meeting the president."

Josuke:
"Hey, Fruit cake? Can you turn around for me?" When you turn around, josuke flat out punched him in his face. Grinned before turning around and taking your hand and leaving.

Mamezuku:
"This way, honey. We have somewhere to be." He just completely ignored him and pushed passed him. Your ex was left confused because this 30 year old man with braids just glared at him.

Tooru:
He just straight up kissed you in front of him. But he didn't stop, y'all ended making out and he left in disgust. Tooru was amused.

Jodio:
"The fuck are you lookin' at, asshole? Huh? You want to start a fight?" In all honestly, he'd probably be the ex that cheated.

Dragona:
"Ew... dude, piss off i don't know you. That's your ex?! Ew!" Dragona just held hands tightly with you and walked away quickly.