Broken In Love ||BakuDeku|| (hanahaki AU)

Chapter 15

Deku's P.O.V

That's when I heard it. The monitor's single beep that stretched out, signalling that Katsuki's heart had stopped.

It felt like my world had just collapsed, "no, no, no, no, Katsuki you can't do this to me! Please, no..." I cried.

I felt some arms wrap around me tightly and pull me away from Katsuki's bed, out of the room as doctors rushed in to help him, I thought I saw a tear rolling down Katsuki's face just before the door closed. I turned around to see I was in Mina's arms and I buried my face in her shoulder, crying as we slid down to the floor.

Hours passed and soon we were forced to go home as it was getting late. I had barely eaten anything and refused to talk all day and as night came I walked into Katsuki's room and collapsed on the bed, curling up into a ball, missing the warmth that Katsuki always seemed to produce.

I ended up crying myself to sleep that night, thinking it was my fault. I had let Katsuki slip through my fingers because I was too much of a wimp to tell him when I had the chance to.

Soon, a week passed. They wouldn't let me visit him and no one told me about his condition so I was on edge, ready for a phone call saying he had passed any minute. It never came though, I felt relieved that I hadn't gotten that call, but at the same time I was anxious about every time my phone went off.

A knock sounded at the door to Katsuki's room, which I still rarely left dragging me back to reality once again. 

"Open.." I managed to say, my throat dry and rasp. The door creaked open to reveal Mina. I just stared at my hands, which were laying on the bed right beside my face, as she slowly made her way over and sat down near my feet.

"Doing ok?" She asked softly, almost as if she thought if she spoke too loudly it would shatter me.

I gave a short nod, keeping my eyes to my hands. "Anything..?" I asked, just above a whisper. When she didn't answer with the usual response of 'not yet' I turned my eyes to look at her, "Mina?" She looked as if she were scared to answer the question I had asked so many times this past week.

"He- I- I'm sorry." She whispered, whipping her eyes furiously of the tears welling in her eyes. "Damnit, Katsuki, you promised.." I whispered, "you promised to become the number one hero, I promised to stay by you until that happened, you can't just break that promise on me..." I started crying quietly. I sat up on the bed and slowly wrapped my arms around Mina, who had begun to cry.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." She cried, leaning into my arms. I rested my chin on her shoulder and gently shook my head. "Don't be, it's not your fault." I whipped my tears, hugging her tightly, "please.. promise me you won't leave." Mina whispered, whipping some of her own tears. I nodded, "I'm not going anywhere, promise."

"I don't think Kirishima wants to see me right now, and he needs comfort, you go, I'm just gonna go for a quick walk," I told her. Mina nodded quietly in reply, getting up and leaving the room, taking one last glance at me before closing the door.

When I heard the door to Kirishima's room close I got up and slipped on one of Katsuki's sweaters and my shoes before leaving his room. Everyone except for Mina, Kiri, Sero and Denki were sitting in the living room, if anybody noticed me they didn't say anything, so without saying anything, too afraid it would all come out in sobs, I slipped outside into the cool fresh spring air.

I stood still for a minute with my hands in my pockets, closing my eyes as I took a deep breath.

I felt tears start trailing down my cheeks and quickly whipped them away and before even thinking of where I was going to go I began running.

With no set destination, I ran. I didn't want to stop running but soon I had to, I was gasping for air when I stopped, rubbing furiously at my eyes to stop the tears from flowing. I stopped rubbing at my eyes to see where my feet had taken me. The park. I scoffed to myself, I was in the same park that Katsuki and I would always play in together as kids.

It looked deserted, nobody was around as far as I could see. I felt fresh tears welling up in my eyes, Stupid, stupid, stupid, you could've done something to save him, you idiot! I thought to myself, holding onto my head. You could've saved him... 

I screamed. I screamed so loud I thought I would've gone deaf. By the time I had finished screaming I had already fallen to my knees, clutching my head, hunched over on the ground sobbing.

It felt like my world just crumbled to my feet right in front of my eyes. I watched as Katsuki's hanahaki slowly took his life because I had been too much of a damn coward to tell him to his face that I loved him.

"I-I love you, K-Katsuki B-Bakugou. I love you, and I'm s-so fucking sorry I-I c-couldn't tell you to y-your face." I struggle out through my sobs.

After what felt like an eternity, my cries had subsided into just quiet hiccups, I slowly straightened myself so I was now sat on my ass, my hands propping me up while I turned my head to the darkening sky. The stars had covered the sky by the time I had collected myself enough to be around people and I began making my way back to the dorms.

When I got back to the dorms I didn't bother talking to anybody and went straight to Katsuki's room. I had dirt on my pants and my tears stained my cheeks, I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on, undressing and stepping in.

I stepped out of the shower a half-hour later, getting some clothes on before curling up in the bed and slowly drifting to sleep.

Waking up to the dark, empty room reminded me too much of how I would wake up every morning after I had fallen off the building. My heart ached but I forced myself to sit up anyway.

There was a knock at the door before it opened, revealing Mina. "We're headed down to the hospital, do you want to come?" She asked softly, "I guess.." I whispered back, my voice raspy from all the yelling I had done that night. She nodded and closed the door.

I dressed in some warm clothes before joining them by the exit, walking outside into the cold air, I stuffed my hands into my pockets, trying to keep them warm as we began making our way to the hospital.

We got to the hospital and walked in, I walked over to the desk and asked for the room that Katsuki was in the last time we were here. "Izuku Midoriya?" The desk lazy asked, "that's me.." I replied quietly, "it was requested for just you to go in, so I'm sorry, but your friends are gonna have to wait here." She told him. "I- but-" I stumbled over my words, not wanting to go in alone and see my childhood friend's corpse, but Mina cut me off, "it's ok, we'll go in after." She said reassuringly. I hesitantly nodded in reply and went to the room Katsuki had been in.

I stopped just outside his room, hand on the doorknob, taking in a shaky breath, I closed my eyes tightly and opened the door, walking in and shutting the door behind me. I didn't think I could open my eyes again, not in this room, anyway, but I gathered up all my courage, took a deep breath, and opened my eyes. What I saw when I opened my eyes almost made me collapse to my knees and want to scream again.