In The Darkest Hour

Part One - Chapter Sixteen: Something Good

“Would you stop avoiding me,” Gerard snapped glaring at Isla, it had been a week since he had kissed her and he was tired of the brunette avoiding him; he wasn’t sure why she was doing so since she had kissed him back.

Isla blinked surprised looking at Gerard, she had been trying to slip out of the room without speaking to him; she was embarrassed that they had kissed like that.

The two silently stared at one another knowing that things had been so awkward between them recently, it made Gerard regret going in for a kiss when it was clear that he had completely gotten his signals crossed when it came to Isla.

“I get it okay… you don’t like me that way,” Gerard murmured a little bitter, his therapist had suggested it would be good for him to try and move on from Isabel and maybe trying dating again.

Gerard had noticed how close he had gotten with Isla and he had only been testing the waters with Isla; he now regretted it since he had clearly ruined their friendship by kissing her.

“You think I don’t like you?” Isla whispered confused, she had kissed Gerard back when he had kissed her; she had been feeling so guilty about what had happened and it didn’t help that she was still getting messages from R.

Gerard snorted, he watched Isla knowing that he would do anything to have her back as his friend; she had been supportive of him when he had needed it most and she was someone that he could talk to about anything.

“What else am I meant to think?” Gerard spat feeling annoyed with himself, he had ruined things by kissing Isla and he hated that he had been so stupid to think that she cared for him in that way.

Isla stared at Gerard, she felt bad that he had felt that she didn’t know what to say to him; she had never thought that this would happen when she had taken the job that Montserrat had offered her.

“Gerard… I like you, a lot more than I should,” Isla whispered stepping closer to the footballer, she moved to sit down on the couch watching Gerard; she hadn’t meant to make him feel bad about how he felt.

Gerard looked at Isla, his blue eyes held confusing as he moved to sit down across from her and wondered what was going on; he had no idea what was going on anymore.

“Then why are you avoiding me like I have the plague?” Gerard asked trying to figure out what was going on, he hated that things had gotten to the point that they were so weird between them.

Isla ran her fingers through her hair, she had never thought that she would have to have this talk with Gerard; she looked down at her feet trying to ease her mind that they needed to have this talk if they wanted to move on.

“Because you only lost Isabel seven months ago…” Isla whispered the last thing that she wanted was to rush Gerard into anything after what he had been through; she herself hadn’t dated since Louis had passed away two years earlier.

Gerard stared at Isla, he was aware how long it had been since Isabel had died and he wasn’t sure how long he was expected to grieve for Isabel; he was ready to take the next step and he wanted to take it.

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone… I want to move on with my life,” Gerard murmured leaning forward a little, he was grateful that Isla was worried about him and he had done a lot of thinking before he had taken his chance in kissing Isla.

Gerard had talked a lot with his therapist about moving on and trying to date again, he knew that Isabel would want him to be happy; he wanted to move on and he wanted to do it with Isla.

Isla opened and closed her mouth, she wasn’t sure what to say about Gerard’s words and she didn’t want to do something that would put things in danger; there was still a long time to go before she was proven innocent.

“Gerard…” Isla said shaking her head, she couldn’t get involved with him and she wasn’t going to risk everything; she had no idea what she could say to turn him down without hurting him.

Gerard took a deep breath, he could understand why Isla was nervous and he hoped that he could at least take her on a date; he wanted to prove that he was ready for a new relationship.

“Give me a chance this could be something good,” Gerard murmured reaching out to take Isla’s hand, he had no idea if this would work out but he wanted to give it a go; he had talked with Lionel and his friend had been supportive of him dating again.

Isla closed her eyes, she was going to have to turn him down and she didn’t want to hurt him; she was happy that Gerard wished to date again, however it could never be her.

“I’m sorry Gerard… I can’t,” Isla whispered feeling her heart break, under normal circumstances she would have said yes but she couldn’t; she took a deep breath wanting to steady herself, she wanted him to be happy again.

Gerard stared at Isla confused, she had just admit to liking him and now she was still turning him down; he had no idea what was going on and he wished that they could be honest with each other.

“Why not?” Gerard asked moving to brush some hair from her face, he could see that something was bothering Isla and it had been doing so for a while; he hated that things had upset her when she had every reason to be happy.

Isla sniffled staring down at her hands, her stomach churned making her want to be sick; she couldn’t tell Gerard what was going on and she knew that she had to keep quiet.

“Isla talk to me…” Gerard pleaded wanting to take away her pain, he hated seeing her like this and he wished that he could help her; he could only help Isla if she told him what was going on.

Isla sniffled as tears started to fall, she couldn’t look Gerard in the face as she broke down and wished that she had never come here; she should have never accepted Montserrat’s offer to work with Gerard or Milan.

“I can’t… you’ll hate me if you knew,” Isla whimpered trying to calm herself, she didn’t want to slip up and reveal what had happened; she doubted that Gerard would ever believe her without evidence that she hadn’t caused Isabel’s death.

The two were silent while Gerard watched Isla, he had no idea what she was talking about but he knew that it wouldn’t change how he felt about her; he was sure that they could work through all of this.

“I could never hate you… whatever happened I trust you,” Gerard murmured brushing some hair from Isla’s face, he moved closer to the brunette wanting to comfort her; he hated that she was crying because of him.

Isla shook her head, he had no idea what she had been accused of and she feared what he would do when he found out; she flinched as Gerard cupped her face and made her look at him.

“Trust me,” Gerard pleaded using his thumbs to brush away her tears, he moved to kiss Isla again wanting nothing more than to make all of this better.

Isla was a wonderful person and Gerard didn’t know what he would ever do without her; he brushed his lips against Isla’s knowing that he could see himself happy with her.

“I’m sorry,” Isla whispered jumping to her feet and exciting the first floor, she headed down the stairs as quickly as she could heading for her room; her vision blared with the tears that she had yet to shed.

Isla slammed her bedroom door shut and leant against it as she started to sob, she slide to the floor hating herself and knowing that she could never give Gerard what he wanted.